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Author Topic: Biography of a Useless Dwarf  (Read 1278 times)

DuckBoy2

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Biography of a Useless Dwarf
« on: March 07, 2012, 11:54:09 pm »

Ral Kolthimshur "Ral Wheeledpartner" was a dwarf born in 25.  She was the eldest daughter of Eshtan Murkworked and Domas Slingraces.  At the young age of 6, she was abducted from Lulledtheater by the goblin Kutsmob Witchboard and imprisoned.  Over the course of 5 years, she became a member of the Violent Thief in Ruthlesstramples.  Once freed from servitude, she quickly demonstrated her prowess in battle, becoming the war leader of The Ignoble Nightmare at the age of 12.  She died at the age of 17, struck down by Etur Armorcharms in the Dune of Gulfs. 

But that was only the beginning. 
13 years passed, and I, Obler Fastenedinch came across her corpse in the Dune of Gulfs.  The following is a summary of my time with her. 

Ral Wheeledpartner was a useless dwarf.  Nay, she was the most useless dwarf.  And she was my friend...


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Old Greg

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Re: Biography of a Useless Dwarf
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2012, 12:13:44 am »

The OP has its moments of cleverness.

Doughnut189

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Re: Biography of a Useless Dwarf
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2012, 12:22:43 am »

The combo has its moments of cleverness
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Girlinhat

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Re: Biography of a Useless Dwarf
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2012, 12:33:39 am »

What amazes me most is that it's 221 pages of biography.  That must have been an amazing dwarf, in actuality.  I've seen necromancers write 8 page essays on whole cities, but 221 pages to a single dwarf?  Whew...

Moddan

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Re: Biography of a Useless Dwarf
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2012, 12:38:31 am »

Obviously he knew her in and out.
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Koronii

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Re: Biography of a Useless Dwarf
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2012, 01:50:10 am »

Obviously he knew her in and out.

oh god my brain
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Biography of a Useless Dwarf
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2012, 03:49:00 pm »

ASCIt

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Re: Biography of a Useless Dwarf
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2012, 03:59:31 pm »

Obviously he knew her in and out.

oh god my brain

has been bleached

Bleach won't cut it when we're talking about a necromancer...
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NRN_R_Sumo1

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Re: Biography of a Useless Dwarf
« Reply #8 on: March 08, 2012, 08:41:03 pm »

Perhaps he was discussing with her spirit? He is a necromancer after all, they're known to call back the dead for information.
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wierd

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Re: Biography of a Useless Dwarf
« Reply #9 on: March 08, 2012, 08:53:53 pm »

...so many ways to make purulent comments.... so.. so many ways...

Perhaps the 212 pages deal indepth with what its like to be a child caprive of perverted incestuous goblins? That's one thing I really don't want to know, actually.

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Kogut

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Re: Biography of a Useless Dwarf
« Reply #10 on: March 08, 2012, 09:04:15 pm »

221 pages? Maybe it was in style of "Everything Men Know About Women"

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