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Author Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued  (Read 248534 times)

10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Two.
« Reply #180 on: March 22, 2012, 04:10:19 pm »

Do so. I Multiply that and provide supressive fire
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Two.
« Reply #181 on: March 22, 2012, 11:55:37 pm »

"A'ight fella's. Time to go save that downed Bowienaut!" Stevo said as he gallantly took off his pants and started running, holding the shorts before him to protect his iconic face, and ability to utter his iconic phrase.

In other words, activate Khaki Shorts, Mate, to reach the pilot safely.



Yknow it's bad when you use potentially useful items for Comedy.
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Three.
« Reply #182 on: March 23, 2012, 06:32:49 pm »

CHAPTER ONE: TURN TWENTY THREE

Paul McCartney attempts to rest up behind tree/foilage cover as his companions be heroes.



"Cover me, men," commands Davy, "I'm going to get him out of trouble!"

"A'ight fella's. Time to go save that downed Bowienaut!" yells Steve Irwin.

"Come on chaps!" shouts Archimedes. "I'll lay down some covering fire and the rest of you rush in there and get him! We can do this, men!"

"Aw man," doubts Paul McCartney. "I can't do no rushing, Archimedes. I'm hurt pretty bad... I've had a hard... day's... adventuring, or something. Dunno, that doesn't sound quite right, but it sounds like it could be a song or something..."

Paul ducks behind a blasted down tree stump for a second, scribbling in his songbook whilst Archimedes readies his AK for the covering fire, forgetting all about his burnt up guts as they start burning instead with the passion of pop!

"Ah man!" he cries, as he slings his guitar over his shoulder and fingers a dramatic chord!

"My guts are burning with the passion of pop, dudes!"

...Before his comrades can stop him, Paul leaps out of cover and onto the toppled tree stump, power-strumming his dramatic chord in a massive arc before the startled communist horde!

It's been a hard day's quest, and I been questing like a dog,
It's been a hard day's quest, I should be sweating like a hog,
But when I get to the LZ, and it swarms with commies,
No I don't feel alright.


"Blimey lads, you know, I might be on to something! Yeah!"

Multiply that and provide supressive fire



You know I quest all day, to slay dictators to save the world,
And it's worth it when the Timelord says, you know you've gone and saved the world,
So I'm not gonna moan, 'cause the co-pilot's alone,
In his downed 'copter.


When I'm fighting for freedom everything seems right,
I could fight for freedom all through the night, night, night!


...Inspired by song and unable to contain himself, Archimedes jumps out from behind his bush and rushes up behind the nearest communist, waving his one good arm in strange mystical patterns in the air as he starts his mathematical chant. He steps up to the communist and taps him on the back, getting his attention before slaying him with the pure power of maths!

Owww!

So I'm not gonna moan, 'cause the co-pilot's alone,
In his downed 'copter,
When I'm fighting for freedom everything seems right!
I could fight for freedom all through the night, night, night!


Kicking the lifeless body over, the ancient Greek picks up the commie's M60 machine gun with his right arm, and starts firing it one handed from the hip towards the communist horde!

Still chanting as the belt of bullets feeds through the massive gun, Archimedes's voice gradually raises to a fever pitch, ringing out hard maths across the battlefield over the thunderclaps of gunfire as he cuts down communists by the dozen and a mathemagical bandana materialises around his head!

It's been a hard day's quest, and I been fighting communists,
Now they're swarming the LZ, and they got me pretty pissed,
So yeah I say unto you, dudes yeah what you gotta go do,
Is just shoot these communists!
Is just shoot these communists!
Yeah!


A magnificent burst of mathematical lightning suddenly explodes over the crash site and hundreds of screaming voices are heard dying in the treeline!

It's alright though, 'cause they're communists!

Screw those guys!

Item Acquired! Archimedes of Syracuse: M60 Machine Gun!

OHIO LEAP over to the pilot and assist him by rifling away commies.



Taking advantaage of the sudden storm of bullets flying towards the communists in the treeline, Davy decides to put his medical woes behind him and leap stupendously over to the pilot to fight side by side with the mighty fellow! Without so much as two steps of a run-up, ...Davy launches through the air in a graceful arc of flapping monstrosity and lands directly next to the co-pilot in the wreckage of the bowiecopter!

"Hey," greets the co-pilot, gazing deeply into Davy's eyes.

"Hey there, good man, we've come to get you ou- oh, good Lord. Voulez-vou-"

Before he can so much as shoot an advancing communist in the head, the smitten Crockett swoons to the ground!

"Oh, shit, terribly sorry Davy. I don't know the strength of my own animal magnetism sometimes... Well, most times, I guess... Oh gods! Is that your liver?"


INTRODUCING: SPECIAL GUEST STAR!




MARCUS AURELIUS: CO-PILOT, PHILOSOPHER-KING, SENIOR BOWIENAUT AND PIMPERATOR-IN-CHIEF OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE!

In other words, activate Khaki Shorts, Mate, to reach the pilot safely.



Suddenly the dramatic rescue scene is ruined by a screaming Aussie National Hero running mostly naked straight past the crash site, ...face completely covered and bullets bouncing imperviously off his khaki shorts as he dashes into unintentional hand to hand combat with dozens of communists!

"CRIKEYYYYYYYYY! I CAN'T SEE A BLEEDIN' THING MATE! ARE YOU FILMING THIS?"

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)


VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT
+1 to all attack rolls.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Three.
« Reply #183 on: March 23, 2012, 06:49:48 pm »

Oh God, I lost it at Aurelius' skill list. That's amazing.

"Hey, boys, I'm feelin' a little better with some music in my system. Why don't we take care of these last few commies, hmm?"

Paul McCartney strums a loud rock chord on his guitar in an attempt to distract the commies while Archimedes does his thing!
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Three.
« Reply #184 on: March 23, 2012, 07:55:45 pm »

"You should be careful with those... eyes, man, eyes.  I mean, uh... right, shooting!"


Take a defensive position right next to Marcus and start shooting down commies!
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Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Three.
« Reply #185 on: March 23, 2012, 11:17:17 pm »

 :o

The Romans have arrived. (DigitalHellhound, I envy you! :P)
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Three.
« Reply #186 on: March 24, 2012, 09:13:03 am »

I guess I'll just, um, continue shooting then.

Continue shooting.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2012, 10:13:27 am by 10ebbor10 »
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Three.
« Reply #187 on: March 26, 2012, 02:37:07 am »

"Strewth, Mates! Crikey! These blokes think they stand a chance against me, Steve Irwin? Bloody Oath, eh? Let's show em the World Renowned Aussie Hero's wrestlin' technique why don't we?" He waved at the camera and tackled the nearest enemy, wrestling it into submission before moving on to the next one.
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Four.
« Reply #188 on: March 26, 2012, 11:07:37 am »

CHAPTER ONE: TURN TWENTY FOUR

Continue shooting.



"Hey, boys,” suggests Paul McCartney, “I'm feelin' a little better with some music in my system. Why don't we take care of these last few commies, hmm?"

”Rawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” answers the mathraging Archimedes, still blasting away one-handed with his M60, ”Rawrrrrggghrh2!!”

Sweeping his side of the crash site with the philosopher-mounted machine gun, Archimedes aims burst after burst after hail of fully automatic continuous fire at every moving commie on the ground, sending communist blood and fur and skin and worse showering into the air! Moving from left to right he methodically cuts down half the enemy before his gun abruptly jams!

”Damn cheap foreign imports!” he cries, flinging the gun to the floor and getting ready to charge into melee. ”Damn you, Communist China!” he yells as he scrambles forward.

But Archimedes once again trips on his sandals and crashes to the floor, directly in front of the nearest surviving communist! The vicious cattybara rises to his feet, raising his rifle above his head to thrust the bayonet into the ancient Greek!


Paul McCartney strums a loud rock chord on his guitar in an attempt to distract the commies while Archimedes does his thing!



”Archimedes! No!” wails Paul in despair, ”Noooooo!”

He does the only thing left to him: he strums a mighty chord of ROCK, aiming at the communist and knocking him the ground!

”Whoa, thanks, my friend!” shouts Archimedes, giving McCartney a thumbs up with one hand as he draws his submachine gun with the other and smashes the communist in the head. But the blows bounce off the cattybara’s helmet, and the cattybara wrestles Archimedes to the floor, knocking away the submachine gun before climbing onto his chest and pinning the Greek’s arms with his knees!

Paul is about to rush out to help his comrade, when he suddenly remembers he has a fractured leg and a crocodile gnawing on his other foot!

Wound Acquired! Paul McCartney: Light Foot Bleeding!

He waved at the camera and tackled the nearest enemy, wrestling it into submission before moving on to the next one.



Meanwhile, on the other side of the wrecked bowiecopter, the battle rages just as fiercely!

”Come on chaps,” chides Marcus Aurelius. ”You’re all looking rather terribly scruffy, you know. Chin up! Back straight! Stop swooning there, Crockett! Watch out Mr Irwin! I say, Mr Irwin! There’s a ravenous commudile coming straight at you!”

"Strewth, mates! Crikey! These blokes think they stand a chance against me, Steve Irwin? Bloody Oath, eh? Let's show ‘em the World Renowned Aussie Hero's wrestlin' technique why don't we?"

All but surrounded by half a dozen reptilian Marxist fiends, Steve Irwin backflips over the croc approaching behind him and lands directly on the sneaky commudile’s back, wrapping his thick muscley wrestling arms round the croccunist’s big gnarly throat, choking it into submission before leaping off to pick it up by the tail and spin it 360 degrees into the second incoming crocodile!

He smashes the croc so hard in the face its bleedin’ eyes fly out! It’s totally struck down, mate!

Take a defensive position right next to Marcus and start shooting down commies!



”Stevooooooo! Watch out Irwin! There’s another one behind you!”

Stevo turns round once more to heed Davy’s warning just as the crack of his bullet rushes past, dodged by the nearest crocodile who then jumps Stevo in a flash. But the Aussie’s crocotechnique is strong, and he escapes the reptile’s amateur wrestling hold and turns it right back on him, mate! Steve Irwin picks up the fiendish commie before jumping to his feet and then suplexing its head right into the ground!

”I say, Irwin, jump out of the way a second,” warns Crockett, raising his rifle once again, ”There’s another one coming for you!”

”Don’t worry,” announces the 16th Roman Emperor. “Shield your eyes Irwin – I’ll handle this.”



Marcus Aurelius stares directly at the communist crocodile waddling towards where Steve Irwin is still busily smashing the croc’s head into the ground with his eyes shut, and gazes his most soulful cross-species gaze. The crocodile immediately turns, and starts waddling towards Marcus Aurelius! He barely waddles another yard before he keels over and swoons!

”Oh yeah, the Pimperator’s still got it.” remarks Aurelius, half to himself. ”Lay-deez…”

”Er… fella?” interrupts Stevo, breaking off from smashing in the croc’s head to briefly look at the swooned crocodile. ”I think it’s fairly obvious from the profile of his jawbone there that that’s no lady crocodile, mate. That’s a full on ferocious alpha male, mate! What a beauty!”

”Oh well,” sighs Aurelius, glancing at Crockett, ”Wouldn’t be the first unwanted alpha male to fall to my charms, eh, Davy baby?”

"Argg! You should be careful with those... eyes, man, eyes. Mmmmmm…” digresses Crockett. ”I mean, uh... right, shooting! Duck, Marcus, there’s another one behind you! Look out!”

Marcus Aurelius ducks as another communist crocodile rises to his back feet to take a swipe at the Pimperator’s head with his razor sharp claws, and Davy Crockett showers him with crocobrain!

”Aw no, Davy! Tell me I ain’t hit, man, tell me I ain’t hit!”

”Well, there might be a little stain on the ba-“

”Damn and blast! I only got this toga back from the drycleaner’s an hour before this mission, man! I can’t see the girls covered in brain, man!”

”The girls? It’s hardly the time to be thinking about girls right now, Aurelius!”

”Oh Davy…” Marcus Aurelius wearily shakes his head. ”It’s always the time to be thinking about girls, son!”

”But… but you’re covered in crocodile brain!”

”Yep… and the only way to get crocodile brains out a toga is a good long soak in a hot tub… Oh yeah…” Marcus glances at his gold watch, narrowly avoiding swooning himself in the highly polished reflection. ”Looks like it’s about time, fellas. Everybody, on me! It’s gonna be alright! The girls are on their way! Better dust off that khaki shirt, Irwin! Should maybe put your shorts on, too. You er… you might want to just put a bag over your head or something there, Crockett. Now,” he crackles, suddenly switching over to the neurocomms network, ”Where the blazes are Paul and the Greek? Chaps? I can sure as hell hear you, now get your backsides over here, men! Er, Davy? There's a goddamned communist behind you, son."

Suddenly a pair of crocs jump out the undergrowth, charging towards Stevo, still wrestling the communist croc corpse on the floor. The fastest one severely bites Steve Irwin in the thigh, severing a major artery! The second starts licking his lips!

”Aw no, man! Should've worn me khaki shorts, mate!”

Wound Acquired! Steve Irwin: Severe Thigh Bleeding!

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)


VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT
None.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Four.
« Reply #189 on: March 26, 2012, 08:43:59 pm »

"Thanks, hon!"

Backflip over and stab/bite the croc!  Cut off its tail and fashion a club out of it!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Four.
« Reply #190 on: March 27, 2012, 12:08:38 am »

"Crikey! That's a big... wound..." Get to Marcus! And by extension away from the crocodiles. Then stop the bleeding! And put my shorts back on, if possible.
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kisame12794

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Four.
« Reply #191 on: March 27, 2012, 10:59:45 am »

Oh god. The flashbacks from #Bay12RTD. THE HORROR.
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Four.
« Reply #192 on: March 27, 2012, 11:07:43 am »

Get that cattybarra using Free style greek wrestling. Or by asking nicely, whatever works best.

I use those elemental magics whenever I have the capability to run away from whatever destruction is accedentally cause.
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Four.
« Reply #193 on: March 27, 2012, 03:23:39 pm »

I am very pressed for time and have not read the whole turn.. I should have my action up by tomorrow.

EDIT: Just auto me for the turn. I'll catch up later.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2012, 09:01:56 pm by freeformschooler »
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twenty Five.
« Reply #194 on: March 28, 2012, 07:35:18 am »

CHAPTER ONE: TURN TWENTY FIVE

Get that cattybarra using Free style greek wrestling. Or by asking nicely, whatever works best.



“Blastation!” invents Archimedes, “Get your stinking hands off me, you damn dirty communist!” he continues as he struggles against the arm-pinning cattybara.

“Get off of me right now or I’ll… I’ll…”

“You’ll what, you filthy capitalist?”

“I’ll nut you in the face! BOSH! ‘Ave it!!”


...Crushing the cattybara’s skull with a single vicious headbutt, Archimedes throws the dead body aside and rushes over to his M60 and to Paul McCartney’s assistance!

Quote from: me!
Run to the Pimperator!



Paul struggles onwards towards Marcus Aurelius with a fracture on one leg and a crocodile on the other! ...He tries to kick the commie off, but the pain of kicking with his fractured leg sends him crumpling to the floor, where the croc ...carries on gnawing at his leg! McCartney can’t shake it off, but crawls manfully towards the crashed bowiecopter and safety!

Suddenly Archimedes of Syracuse jumps out from behind a nearby bush, and directs a fiercely polite request at the crocodile.

“I say. Would you mind awfully letting go of this poor gentleman? I’m sure he’s thoroughly upset about your chewing his leg whilst being rather too polite to raise a fuss, don't you know? There we are, be a good chap now.”

...The crocodile refuses to comply!

“Don’t say I didn’t bloody warn you,” yell Archimedes, in ancient Greek, “You filthy commie!”

...Archimedes opens up with his M60, showering the crocodile in hundreds of bullets and chopping him into a bloody pulp! ...Still holding his M60 in his right hand, the famous Greek philosopher bends down to hoist the injured McCartney over his left shoulder, ignoring the searing pain of his fractured arm as he does so, and starts sprinting towards the exfil point!

Get to Marcus! And by extension away from the crocodiles. Then stop the bleeding! And put my shorts back on, if possible.



Meanwhile on the other side of the bowiecopter…

"Crikey!” shouts Steve Irwin, ”That's a big...”

”Thanks, Irwin.”

”…wound..."

”Oh… right… yeah, I knew that. Hey, you get back over here to safety, my boy! Get that damn communist off that manly thigh of yours, brother!"

“Arrrg!” shouts Stevo, “I’ve got a bleedin’ crocodile attached to my literally bleedin’ thigh, mate! Crikey! Cover me fellas, I’m gonna make a dash for it!”

Steve Irwin makes a dash for it, ...and trips over the crocodile trying to chew his thigh off! The croc has another chew! ...Stevo’s knee starts bleeding heavily!

Wound Acquired! Steve Irwin: Heavy Knee Bleeding!

“Oh crikey, mate, I need to get me bleedin’ khaki shorts back on!”

Whilst crawling away from the two frothing crocodiles with blood pouring from his leg, Stevo tries to put his khaki shorts back on, mate!  ...But he slips, and puts them right over his head! The pair of crocs wonder where he’s gone! Suddenly they find out, as Steve starts screaming and running around in circles, searching vainly for the way over to Marcus Aurelius.

“Oh holy crap fellas, I’ve only gone and gone bleedin’ blind! Argg!”

Stevo trips over the second crocodile, who makes a lunge for his non-bleeding leg! ...He totally misses, and ...Steve wrestles him into submission, and jumps on his back!

Backflip over and stab/bite the croc!  Cut off its tail and fashion a club out of it!



"Thanks, hon!" thanks Davy Crockett as Marcus Aurelius points out the damned communist behind him. “Here’s a little move I learnt on the fronti-argdamnblast!”

...Suddenly Crockett leaps into the air, and belly-flops down onto the croc’s face! ...The enraged croc bites him severely in the head, tearing the skull’s fat and fracturing the ear!

Wound Acquired! Davy Crockett: Heavily Bleeding Skull Fat!

Wound Acquired! Davy Crockett: Fractured Left Ear!

”Oh no! This croc’s the king of my fractured left ear!”

Rolling out from under the communist, Davy desperately lunges with his knife, ...and severely wounds the air around the fiend!

“Come on Boone, take down this un-American croc, my friend!”

But Boone mishears, and takes a vicious swipe at Crockett’s non-reptilian foot, ...breaking the bone and all but severing the lower limb!

Wound Acquired! Davy Crockett: Broken Left Foot!

Wound Acquired! Davy Crockett: Heavily Bleeding Left Foot!

…   …   …   …   …   …

Suddenly there’s a roar of a finely tuned pimp-motor, and the courtesanmobile blazes over the clearing towards the downed bowiecopter!


The driver’s side window goes down and Marcus Aurelius strolls over to his girls.



“Lower the roof, girls, and climb on into the back with me. I got a terrible stain on my robes and I need a good rub down. Oh yeah. Hey, Crockett? Leave that damned communist alone and take the wheel, son! Come on, men! We’ve done the mission, let’s get in the hot tub and do the gir-… do the uh debriefing… Oh yeah. Come on ladies, champagne for my friends…”


As the roof lowers and Marcus Aurelius climbs into his Jacuzzi, Archimedes suddenly sprints up to the courtesanmobile with Paul on his shoulder and sees the girls.

“Oh, hey, Aurelius. Paul’s hit bad, my friend, we’ve got to get him t- oh, hello… And what’s your name?”

“Her name’s Cindy, but come on Archimedes, get Paul in the back seat first… try not to let him bleed all over the place though man… I had this valeted just last night. Then get you and the girls up here in the hot tub, we’ve got to get them out the way before they see Crockett’s… face, man… COME ON MEN, WE’VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE! THE COMMUNISTS ARE ALL AROUND AND MY GIRLS CAN’T STAND THE SIGHT OF A DAMN COMMIE!”

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)


VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT
None.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
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