Hastily-Added Note: I typed all this up, but then I actually read the damn thread and I don't really think this fits in. At all. But I've already written it, so meh.
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In the Pregnant Hills there were five brothers.
The eldest, Elf, was fair as a woodland meadow and tall and wise as an ancient tree;
the second eldest, Dwarf, was close to the earth in body and mind, his soul as stoic and unmoving as the mountains;
the second youngest, Goblin, was as a knife-edge, small in size but great in passion and cunning, his creativity giving rise to such wonders as locks that could hold against any assault and mechanisms that functioned across any distance;
the youngest and smallest child, Kobold, was deeply curious, wriggling into every nook and cranny in search of hidden knowledge;
the middle child, Human, served as mediator; middle in age, size and opinion, as level and even as the great plains, he settled disputes between the five brothers.
They lived in peace together in the hills, by the divine grace of ARMOK.
However, one day, Kobold asked of the others:
"Brothers, why is it that Elf is tall and fair while us four are squat and homely?" His inquisitive eyes pressed upon them. But they did not know the reason for this inequity.
Seeking answers, they asked of ARMOK:
"Father, why, in your wisdom, have you seen fit to bless Elf with such grace, wisdom, and beauty while leaving us bereft of such gifts?"
And lo, ARMOK replied:
"To see what'll happen."
Such is the wisdom of the Almighty Judicator.
But lo, the five brothers were dissatisfied with the Almighty's wisdom, and began to fight amongst themselves.
"Churl! Churl! Spoiled little brat!" cried Goblin at Elf, gnashing his teeth. "Why should you receive the most gifts?" "Such injustice!" yelled Dwarf. Human watched in silence; Kobold, terrified by his elder brothers' outbursts, scampered away.
Elf merely laughed and said: "How impudent of you, to question the Almighty's wisdom! We were each given such gifts as we merited; clearly, I was the most deserving!"
"Such pride!" roared Dwarf; "Let's see if you can measure up to your boasts, tree-hugger!" he said, tackling his brother to the grass. Howling with rage, Goblin leapt upon the pair, clawing at Elf's face; Elf screamed as one, then another of his ears were ripped off of his head by Goblin's claws. Human watched from the sidelines, his face a mask.
And lo, ARMOK returned from his sandwich break, and was shocked by what he saw before him. Though he implored the brothers to cease their fighting, they refused to hearken to him; finally, he threatened them with carp, and they stopped.
And ARMOK said from the heavens, "Shame be upon you, for fighting amongst each other like animals! You are brothers, yet you do battle as mortal foes!" Dwarf and Goblin hung their heads; Goblin dropped a lock of golden hair he had pulled out. On the ground, Elf whimpered pathetically.
"Dwarf," ARMOK dictated, "for questioning my wisdom, I condemn you and all of your progeny. All shall die violent deaths; all of your settlements shall drown in a river of your people's blood. Water will taste of vomit to you; only the poisonous essence of rotting fruit shall slake your thirst."
"Goblin, your passion and wit has given way to fury and hatred. Your children, and your children's children, and every generation thereafter shall know only rage; no other emotion will cross their hearts, and they will live with nothing but hatred for all of Creation."
ARMOK had not finished. "Human, you are a coward."
Human prostrated himself before the glory of ARMOK. "Whatever could I have done to displease you, Father?"
ARMOK, who claims knowledge of the hearts of all men, replied: "You claim to be a mediator. You strive to be impartial and just in all things. But on this matter, you were not. By not intervening, you implicitly gave your blessing to this brutality. Neither shall your descendants concern themselves with others; they will be repulsed by all who are not like them, and all ideologies other than their own will be incomprehensibly alien."
Meanwhile, Elf lay on the ground, bemoaning his fate. ARMOK turned his attention to him. "Those you trusted most have turned on you, mutilating you. You shall have protection from me; neither the beasts of the wild nor the sands of time will ravage you, for fear of my wrath. I will grant you new ears to replace those that were rent from your head; no sound will escape their notice."
And thus, his will having been done, ARMOK departed unto the chaos beyond the heavens, saying: "Don't make me come down here again."
Since that day, the history of dwarves has been stained with blood; from the ancient, near-mythical fortress of Boatmurdered to the blasted oceanside settlement of Battlefailed, misfortune would claim the lives of all dwarves, their bloodstains a testament to the glory of ARMOK. All dwarves therafter were slaves to alcohol, its poison killing what violence, fire and clowns could not. The sun's touch was anathema to them.
All of the cunning of goblinkind would be devoted entirely to warfare. They would never again create anything new; they would spread only destruction, upon both others and themselves.
Humans retreated to the plains, far away from others unlike them; when they came across other races, they would seek assimilation or destruction, never compromise or learning.
Kobold, filled with guilt over sparking the conflict, retreated deep into caves, only showing his face to the sun when his curiosity overcame him. His brothers grew to see him as a coward and instigator, and hatred towards kobolds continues to this day.
The Elves, disdainful of their lesser kin, retreated deep into the forest, not fearing wild beasts or the passage of time. However, their pride prevents them from learning; they exist in stasis, their society never evolving. For the elves, peaceful death from old age would become a mere fantasy; every elf would meet its end through violence, and the dwarves and goblins would be more than happy to provide it.