Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Mazonas]

Book of Id

Concerning Moods
And lo, it came to be that the peasant Urist, who was begat by Urist, who was son of Urist, who was the spawn of the bountiful loins of Urist, did make travel to Boatmurdered.
And he came there to that mighty fortress and did knock upon the fortress gates to beg entry.
Yet upon his arrival, so taken was Urist by the wealth of Boatmurdered and the glory it gave to Armok, that he did fall to his knees and cry.
And Malakai did touch Urist then and spake to him thusly
"Urist. Thou shalt do great honour to my name and to the name of Armok.  And thou shalt earn a place for yourself here."
And Urist did cry out in anguish
"But how, oh Mighty God who is less Mighty than Arnok but still much more Mighty than me?"
And Malakai did reply
"Go forth, Urist, and gather for me all manner of precious things."
And Urist did cry again
"How shall I know, oh Lord, which things are precious?"
And Malakai did smile upon Urist and spake
"I shall direct you to them."
Thus did Urist come crazed and intense, and did hoard for himself all manner of things.
Urist hoarded wood, and stone, and leather, and cloth, and gems, and bones, and did hide them from sight and from all who might seek them.
And when the time came and Urist's hoard was great he did take up ownership of a craftdwarf's workshop and forbad all from entry.
And Malakai did touch Urist again and spake to him thusly
"You have gathered precious things and now must make tribute with them to Armok."
And Urist obeyed and did work furiously.
For seven days and seven nights did Urist work, and in working he took neither rest, nor food, nor drink even, until his work was done.
And Urist did charge from the workshop and did hold aloft his Great Work.
And the dwarfs of the fortress did stop and marvelled at his creation.
Upon seeing them, Urist did speak and inform the people of his Great Work.
"Stonepaddled the Oilyness of Rotting, a calcite earring."
"This is a calcite earring.  It is adorned with bands of calcite and cat leather.  It is studded with zinc.  It is adorned with hanging rings of cat bone and menaces with spikes of cat leather.  On the item is an image of dwarves surrounded by dwarves in fire opal.  On the item is an image of Stonepaddled the Oilyness of Rotting in calcite.  On the item is an image of a fly in rat leather."
And Malakai did look upon Urist and upon his Great Work.  And was mightily pleased.  And Malakai did reward Urist.
"And for your Great Works shall you now be considered a High Master Earring Maker."

[Karakzon]

And did Id come to the fortress. High master mechanic. and she did demand the construction of the large serrated disc of iron, its edges laced with silver and bronze, the blade studded with lead and zinc. Masterfully worked in the likeness of Malakai the god of Mechanisms and fey moods. And lo, The gods were pleased. upon the threshold of the fortress a trap was set with this disc of death, to destroy all would be interlopers. And Lo! when the goblin hordes came, they were cut into meaty chunks and sprayed across the flagstones like the refuse they were.
And the dwarfes did go out to claim the troll leather socks. untill a kobold passed the trap and struck down one with a large copper knife and ran away like the scum it was. And the dwarfs did weep. for tho their weapons of destruction were mighty, and their traps deadly, these hidden menaces continued to strike at the dwarfs for their diamond encrusted master work silk socks.

[NotPete]

"Consider the humble mechanism. By its self, it's little better than the crafts near the stockpile. Useful for nothing more than trading to the elves for some cheep booze. But together...together mechanisms do grand things. They flood our farms, operate our bridges, deliver the wrath of Armok on our enemies! Things no single mechanism can hope do.  Consider the magma pumps. They only operate because all of the parts work together. The water wheels to collect the power, the axles and mechanisms to carry the power, the pumps to finally deliver Armok's blood on our foes! With out one of these parts the whole machine becomes little better than a fancy statue. Each part has a role and a job, each one as important as the last. Consider the forts. Like the pumps, they require the participation of every part to survive. If one role of a fort is unfulfilled, it crumbles to its end. Without the farmers it will starve, without miners it will lack metal and stone, without smiths it will lack weapons and armor, without cheese makers its armies will lack fodder, without masons it wont have walls and bridges, without the soldiers it would be over run with goblins.  So go forth, residents of Hardlabor, go and work together, like the pumps, bring the holy rage of Armok on our foes! All of you have an important part to play, so do it."
-Excerpt from the speech of Tekkud Eccentricrock, student of Id, during the 3rd tantrum spiral of the fort Hardlabor. Translated by NotPete.

[Mazonas]

And Urist did ask of Tekkud

"And what of the animal caretakers?"

[MadJax]

And Urist did ask of Tekkud

"And what of the animal caretakers?"

To which Tekkud nonchalantly replies: "Let them eat cheese."

[Karakzon]

In the time of our God, the time before time.

Urist stood on the battlements of Scarheat and looked out over the human hord, and he did smile. Ordering Id to pull the leaver with a quick blessing to Malakai, the forces of Scarheat waited with baited breath as the humans, who were rainning arrows down on the stout folk of the mountain, marched onward, unknowingly onto a massed area of bridges. With the leaver pulled, the bridges did retract, and lo! the earth dissapeared from beneath the entire human hord. below them was a straight 150 z level pit directly down to the magma sea. straight through all cavern layers. The screems ecchoed through the halls for a scant minute, and all was gone, devoured by the earth. Urist smiled as the bridges were lowerd again.
Another sacrafice to Armok made, another day done.

"Booze on me lads!"

[Karakzon]

well: since i havent got any more volentearing material, ill draw up a draft with whats available and post the individual books on the fourms for editing.

ill write book Id soon. right now im tired from work so xP

[Karakzon]

The first passage for the book of id:

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=79182.0

[Soapalope]

On the first day, Armok created blood.
On the second day, Armok created the lowkind, Dwarves.
On the third day, Armok made dwarves tall, creating men and elves.
On the fourth day, Armok created the world, repeatedly deleting it because the parameters were not good enough.
On the fifth day, Armok created birds, deer, and clowns, as to aid the Dwarves in their lives.
On the sixth day, Armok went on strike, for being low-paid and overworked.
On the seventh day, Armok created alcohol.
On the eighth day, which He soon removed, Armok threw in some magma.

[Ubiq]

The Tale of Armok and the First Cage, Part 1

In those long ago days, Armok moved across the face of the world and saw many things. Of all wonders on the surface in those days before the Age of Myth, none found as much favor in the eyes of Armok as the multitude of plants he found.

In these, he found many a grand elixir of healing and spirit to delight the tastes that could be made. Gaining a taste for certain of the latter, Armok set aside a great plot of land and bent the earth and water to his will to flood the land and make it plentiful. And so it was for many a year; the springtime flood would replenish the land and the land would grant Armok a bounty of plants.

Seasons rolled by and the wheel of the heavens spun ever on until one day, one late day in the summer. the river Alodiger ran dry. Armok was sorely vexed; if the river ran dry, then how would he grow his crops come the spring? Where would his loyal bees gather their nectar for the mead that celebrated when Sanadvir stood atop the world if Armok's grass and flowers choked to death of thirst?

Knowing that there must be cause for such calamity, Armok set out on a quest to find the culprit if there was one, slay them if possible, and to save his spring. Knowing that he might need a weapon, Armok cast down a mountain close at hand and drew forth the living iron of its bones and the coal from its heart. With these, he forged the first axe Saramlibash by his own hand and the first helmet Oburzon.

Thus armed and clad, Armok set out. Many a season, he followed the track of the once great river and his wrath grew ever greater the further he travelled. One day, after crossing a vast mountain that Alodiger had carved through over time, Armok heard a noise as thunder and perceived a glow that spread across the horizon bright as day. At first, he took it for the rise of Sanadvir, but the light was not warm as that of Sanadvir nor cool like Ananvir. Armok walked boldly across the land to see what this was and found himself at the edge of a great valley.

In the vast distance, he beheld Amugumid, the waterfall from which Alodiger and all other rivers sprang, along with a great forest with trees tall as mountains and alive with noise and movement. Alodiger ran swiftly from its father Amugumid towards him and Armok's eyes followed its course. In the darkness, he could not see where the river ended, but as Sanadvir rose, Armok knew his enemy.

A great hulking mass of grey hide and hair with a serpent for a face, two great glowing eyes, and two vast gleaming swords of white lay in the cool, clean waters of his Alodiger and drank the river greedily dry as it tried to go by to serve its master Armok. This monster of monsters was Koganusân, the First Elephant.

[ThreeToe]

I had the remove some offensive, sexually oriented language.  I'm sure I didn't catch everything.  Try to keep it clean.

[flieroflight]

One of the geat fortresses of our world, whose name must not be mentioned for it has been lost in the mists of time itself, was dedicated to the destruction of all Elves. But, their grand design had no way of opening its grand jaws and unleashing the very hordes of hellfire upon their forest retreat. Then, when all seemed lost, Arnok Himself came to their leader and showed him the true shape of his might> Not Magma, Not Adamatine, but THE GEAR! and with that wonderful piece, the gates, Carved 9 levels high and enrusted with Perfet diamons, opened, bathing the elves in the raw light of creation itself! Some say, that this fortress still stands, buried deep uder mountains of bone and fields of lava, with the perfect gear still turning at its core, providing the mystical force that drives all mechanisims to this day.

Id, !4;07

[Eoganachta]

Sheriff Urist and the Masterful Adamantine War Hammer

The Dwarves of the Mountainhomes were Thirsty. The harvest had been ill after the Regrettable Magma Accident Last Year and no plumphelmets had sprouted from the obsidianised soil. And the brewers did ask for the materials that from which the Draught of Armok was concocted. And tempers did flare, and the dwarves became very happy and could not find someone in charge to yell at recently. Great riots broke out in all the halls, as brother had fist fight with brother and babies gouged out the eyes of their mothers, their breast milk that had waned in alcohol content, and sons threw fixtures at fathers. 
And Sheriff Urist the Unfortunate held the Masterful Adamantine War Hammer above his head and cried to the Dwarves in the Mountain Homes, “Who has been a naughty Dwarf!”
“We have!” cried the Dwarves of the Mountainhome!
“Who punched your Brother in the head, tearing the brain?”
“We did!”cried the remaining Dwarven Brothers.
“Who gouged out the eyes of the Dwarven Mothers?”
The Dwarven Babies, who had been used as shields by their late mothers, did not reply, and were stricken my melancholy and leapt from small ledges, bruising their brains.
“Who threw furniture at your Fathers?”
“We did!” cried the Dwarven Sons.
“Well, the King had not the foresight to build jails for everyone,” said Urist.
And the beatings did begin, and the Masterful Adamantine War Hammer struck blow after blow on the Dwarves of the Mountainhomes, but the injured were none. And Urist became exhausted and did sit down in the hall, which was in the Mountainhomes, and he did lie down and closed his eyes to sleep. And the cage, that was concealed, did materialize and trap Urist.
And Urist screamed and called to the good Dwarves of the Mountainhomes to build the cage somewhere suitable and release him. And the Dwarves did grin, and feast upon the carp, the slothes, the tigers, and the antelope, and the bears, and the bees, and the cats, and the cattle, and the dogs that were tied at the Great Doors of the Mountainhomes. But not of the Toads. And there was much rejoicing.
And Urist did pray to Armok the God of Blood, and Armok did smile upon the trapped Dwarf called Urist and whispered his secrets to Urist. And Armok did release Urist the Unfortunate and Urist did retreat into the Earth and found the Magma and did smelt his Masterful Adamantine War Hammer into a Masterful Adamantine War Axe, menicing with spikes of Adamantine and a masterful image of a Toad in Adamantine, the Toad is laughing. And he did grin and lifted up the Masterful Adamantine War Axe and inaugurated it to be called Zilirustos from that day on. And Urist did find the other Dwarves of the Mountainhomes and the beatings did begin.
And limps were dismembered bodies die after colliding with obstructions. And Blood was spilt and Armok did smile upon little Urist and he was brutally beaten to death by the Dwarves of the Mountainhomes. And when the Dwarves did realize what they had done, they saw a plumphelmet sprout from the mutilated corpse of Urist. And they did brew the plumphelmet and they did drink and briefly did not fight.
And Armok saw that it was good.

[Dude_Jebawe]

Way ahead of you.

[Karakzon]

indeed. feel free to use everything gatherd in my threads