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[Baron Baconeer]

...And now something completely different: Updates!

After school, schoolwork, exams and intense perioid of magicka addiction, I have finally booted up DF and we can actually get the party going. Hooray!
Dorfin' and status:
Johny, he who digs, is our local high master stonecrafter.
Xyon is a pretty cool guy. eh makes artifact glass weapon racks and doesnt afraid of anything.
Urist Mc Khornate is our local berzerker-dwarf-cultist-guy.
Calamity is sadly a swordsdwarf due to our lack of axedwarves, but he has killed an elf so I think it'll make you feel better.
Devling is alive. For now.

16th. Sandstone
I was rifling trough the goblinite the two thieves I introduced myself to had on themselves.

Why on earth do you decorate your bag with pitchblende?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

((It's some sort of uranium or something))

Also, more migrants. A freakin' circus entered our fortling, filled with comedians and liars with no real skills. And I've always heard the longbeards whispering about circuses and clowns ending many homes. I need to keep eye on those guys. If even one of them tries to make a balloon goblin I'm going to feed them to Toady, our watchtoad. Bloody useless.

27th. Sandstone
I woke up realizing that Dragoobie was the single most cool guy I've ever met, but I had forgotten about it after a long month of drinking. And the geniuses had him dumped to the cistern.

When nobody looks, I cut myself with my sword.

28th. Sandstone
Due to all these useless uselesses, we're running out of beer. The brewers are partying. I'm thinking about rounding all the useless dwarves up and making the to live in the caves.

...Too complex. I'll delegate the responsibility to someone else.

14th. Timber
Caaaaaaa-raaaaaaa-vaaaan! That means thieves, thugs and other things stalking them.

And Devling just wandered outside to "Pick up some stuff I really, really need."

15th. Timber
And, as my uncanny intuition stated, a snatcher attacked. How very, very unsurprising. Of course, he just stepped on a cage trap. And a second one shanked a fisherdwarf. And the third one...



'Nuff said.

SEVENTHEEN DAY TIMBUR, DIARY OF UZOL DA FISHDWARF

I GO FISHING TODAY I SEE PEOPLE COMING TOWARDS ME THEY GOLBIN

17th. Timber
Goblins. Tolyk is lying in the sand dying, goblins are chasing a fisherdwarf and I'm drunk. Bodyparts are flying to every imaginable direction and we are now living at a red sand desert.

BEST DAY EVER

24th. Timber
Well, fun is over. Two goblins out of fifteen got away, and nobody except for some useless cat died. Even Uzol survived. And damn that guy is fast.
We traded random crap for beer and dogs.

Beards grow, goblins die, *sunshine*, and brother, I kill people.

...Oh yeah, and Tolyk is now unable to stand or grasp anything. He will, obviously, continue to serve in the militia.

[billybobfred]

Also, I think my computer freaks out when I tried to Play it was because I forgot the mods.  OOPS.

Mods are fully contained within the save file, so that's not it.

[TolyK]

17th. Timber
Goblins. Tolyk is lying in the sand dying, goblins are chasing a fisherdwarf and I'm drunk. Bodyparts are flying to every imaginable direction and we are now living at a red sand desert.

BEST DAY EVER

...Oh yeah, and Tolyk is now unable to stand or grasp anything. He will, obviously, continue to serve in the militia.

*cough*
things are going well!
*cough*
_lol

[Baron Baconeer]

1st. Moonstone
I hate winter. No caravans means no goblins means no killing means no fun.

2nd. Moonstone.
Dodók rushed to my office today.
"I've killed four goblins and that pesky troglodyte-type."
"Well, good for you." I replied.
"That means, I get a title!" He slammed his hand on my vintage golden table, scratching the paintwork.

Well, now we have guy called Sizzling cavity of entries. Sounds dirty, if you ask me.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Besides, blunt executioner of handles is much cooler title.

3rd. Moonstone
Tolyk will make a... Half revival. His right leg and left arm are just broken, and he will be able to join the crutch-cohort. Yaaay.

Also, here's a fine example of dwarven diplomacy.
"What will you have of our merchants?"
"Beer."

6th. Moonstone
Somebody kidnapped a baby. I have no idea how, where and when, nor that we had babies.

10th. Moonstone
The hallway really stinks of death. I believe it's Tolyk. He hasn't been able to bathe in weeks.

Somebody didn't make billon items for Billybobfred, so I stabbed random animal caretaker to death.

11th. Moonstone
The source of smell was a rotting goblin head in the brewery.

14th Moonstone

Devling got his beard stuck in the reloading mechanism of his crossbow, what I've heard.

Oh, and that animal caretaker I killed? He had befriended half of the fort. Good thing I'm the one with weapons.

1st. Opal
Had to put Tolyk out of the militia, due to his constant rambling of "I NEED EQUIPMENT, BUT ALAS, I AM WOUNDED."
I put someone to cower his job until he makes his recovery.

2nd. Opal
There was a goblin BBQ party going on, when suddenly a child stood up, eyes glowing and pronounced:
"Ach, like everybody knows, the axle of gyroscope tries to maintain its original position."
She then ran off. Huh. Tolyk is just idling around and moaning about his pain and sorrow. If I hadn't seen what she did to that giant bat I'd throw him to the cistern alongside the other dead people.

5th. Opal
Billybobfred finally has a makeshift office to hold his meetings. I think he's eyeing my golden furniture with I look I don't really like.

WAITWHAT HE AND RANDOM ARE DATING

11th. Opal
The kid made an ugly earring, which doesn't have any kind of aesthetic value. Only the sheer amount of materials pumped into it make it worth any time.

23rd. Obsidian
A kobold pops out. That's about as exciting as this season gets.

1st. Granite

Okay, that's it. No more overseering for me. I'm done with all the byrocratical whatnot and I seriously just want to kill people. Therefore, I will take a spear, throw it to the meeting hall and whoever gets hit will be the new overseer. Over and out.

Signed: Ex-Overseer Sworddwarf captain of the guard Baron Urist Baconeer the fifth, Blunt Executioner of Handles.


---------------------------------------------------

A download will magically appear here.

Hey hey kids, we have a problem! The packed file is 103MB, whereas DFFD only accepts files of 100MB. Ideas?

[TolyK]

favorite parts:

3rd. Moonstone
Tolyk will make a... Half revival. His right leg and left arm are just broken, and he will be able to join the crutch-cohort. Yaaay.

Also, here's a fine example of dwarven diplomacy.
"What will you have of our merchants?"
"Beer."

10th. Moonstone
The hallway really stinks of death. I believe it's Tolyk. He hasn't been able to bathe in weeks.

11th. Moonstone
The source of smell was a rotting goblin head in the brewery.

14th Moonstone

Devling got his beard stuck in the reloading mechanism of his crossbow, what I've heard.

1st. Opal
Had to put Tolyk out of the militia, due to his constant rambling of "I NEED EQUIPMENT, BUT ALAS, I AM WOUNDED."

2nd. Opal
Tolyk is just idling around and moaning about his pain and sorrow. If I hadn't seen what she did to that giant bat I'd throw him to the cistern alongside the other dead people.

WAITWHAT HE AND RANDOM ARE DATING

[billybobfred]

Hey hey kids, we have a problem! The packed file is 103MB, whereas DFFD only accepts files of 100MB. Ideas?

Did you .zip it or .rar it?

[Baron Baconeer]

Ayup. I think I figured a way to do it, but it'll take a few minutes.

EDIT: Well duh. There was another region inside the region.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

INCEPTION

That might explain something.

http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4204 Here we go.

[Devling]

What... I'm the militia captain! holy crap! 

[Baron Baconeer]

What... I'm the militia captain! holy crap! 

Militia captain =/= militia commander. And you're a marksdwarf completely inept in hitting anything.

[gordy]

Dorf me please as Gordy, any non military profession...ta!

[Devling]

What... I'm the militia captain! holy crap! 

Militia captain =/= militia commander. And you're a marksdwarf completely inept in hitting anything.

sssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........

[skaltum]

We need dwarven rum cake