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[Silleh Boy]

-snip-

Terraforming by cake, reclaimation of resources from cake, cake fueled space exploration.
I love the scope in the thinking there given the relative absurdity of the starting point - if some of these things had that kind of scope in the thought that went into them, i'd have probably found them more engaging in general to read through. I guess as was implied earlier, there's only so large something of this nature can get, so many people that can be involved before it becomes detrimental for it as a whole.

[misko27]

I forget what number it is again, but one of the few good recent ones is a completely average, boring SCP that had something to do with a museum and was contained a long time ago.

Except on reviewing the interrogation tapes one of the guys they talked to ended his testimony by asking "Are we cool yet?", and that was years before AWCY ever appeared.

Oh yeah, I recall that. I thought you were talking about  the SCP that forces you to always mention that it used to be a museum for a second.

My favorite "Are We Cool Yet" one is that "Best of the Fifth Dimension" one, where the SCP itself is just literally a Fifth Dimension \ tracks loaded with fifth dimension and five jokes in general:"   Listeners experience quintuple vision for all moving objects." and "Listeners experience random moments in the life of Alan Shepard, the fifth man to walk on the Moon." and every track ends by forcing the listeners to say "Wow, that was real cool". Uninspired, right? But the way the Foundation got it was the maker hand-delivered to them personally, apparently being compelled/possessed by a group of very irate AWCY folks whom he had shown this to. That interview log was gold:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Guard: Sir, this is private property, you can't —

SCP-092-B: This is a secret Foundation site, right?

Guard — you can't come in here, sir, I —

SCP-092-B: You're the SCP Foundation, and I'm a failure.

Guard: … what was that, sir?

SCP-092-B: You're the SCP Foundation, and I'm a failure. I think I'm clever, but I'm not. I'm a stupid boring nekulturny hack who thinks that money and cheap puns can take the place of talent and inspiration. I'm tasteless. I'm dull. I'm incompetent, I have no sense of style, and the only reason I'm not an art criminal is that nothing I've ever made is even close to being art. You can secure me, and you can contain me, but no one can protect me. Please take me and my anomalous garbage into custody.

(At this point, guards summoned backup. SCP-092-B repeated this statement verbatim until he was taken into custody.)

Interviewer: Yes, we understand about "five-ness", thank you, that's been most helpful, but we were also wondering what you could tell us about how you made these.

SCP-092-B: I just wanted to be cool, you know? I really did. I thought… well, I had my inheritance, and my collection, and there was the estate, and the abandoned museum, and so much of the stuff went together, and it wasn't that tough, and… look, my ideas were better than yours! They were! I know they were! No! They're not! Nobody's impressed by stupid facile wordplay. It's not even good wordplay, it's kindergarten-level paronomasia, oh look FIVE DIMENSIONS WHAT OTHER THINGS CAN YOU THINK OF THAT COME IN FIVES, I'm worthless. I'm worthless.

Interviewer: Better than my ideas?

SCP-092-B: There's no deeper meaning to what I did, it's all just superficial Potemkin-village crap pumping imitation SHIT into the river of human achievement. It's Stein's fucking Oakland, and I don't even FUCKING understand those FUCKING allusions. I'm an uninspired wannabe, I'm boring, I'm a useless hack with NO FUCKING IMAGINATION. I've wasted and ruined miracles, I've squandered so much raw material that better people could have done so much with… I just… I'm not cool. I never will be. I'm really sorry about the mess. These aren't my arms.

(At this point, SCP-092-B seized his own head with both hands and ripped it off his neck, killing himself instantly.)

There's also a great thing in the comments of it by the author:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

<Voct> incidentally, the reason that he had to turn all his stuff over to the Foundation, instead of destroying it or letting it be destroyed
<Voct> that's because if it had been destroyed
<Voct> he could have taken solace in the thought that his stuff was TOO INTENSE for AWCY
<Voct> TOO EXTREME
<JackEnglish> ha
<Voct> they couldn't handle it, they had to destroy it
<Voct> by handing it over to the Foundation
<Voct> the least artistically-aware people ever
<Voct> his stuff will be locked up
<Voct> and taken out periodically
<Voct> examined
<Voct> dissected
<JackEnglish> I like that
<Voct> analyzed
<Voct> and never ever appreciated artistically
<Voct> the GOC would have destroyed the stuff as Too Dangerous
<Voct> MC&D would have auctioned them off as Peculiar Rarities to be Appreciated
<Voct> only the Foundation is emotionally dead enough for it to be a punishment
<Voct> I find that the best SCPs are those with more story than is included
<JackEnglish> is the forced reaction line "wow, that was cool" a direct shot at AWCY or am i misunderstanding it?
<Voct> that was absolutely a direct shot at AWCY
<JackEnglish> figured
<Voct> incidentally, it's "wow, that was *real* cool"
<Voct> (count the words)
<JackEnglish> hah
<JackEnglish> of course
<Voct> and it's that direct shot that got him killed horribly
<Voct> I had briefly considered having *five instances* of him going to five different Foundation sites at once
<Voct> but…. eh. Too much.
-----
<Voct> he really really wanted to be an amazing artist
<Voct> he was rich
<Voct> he had access to all this anomalous shit
<Voct> he just wanted to be cool
<Uncandescent> Makes me think he could have done a lot of good in the world, if he'd tried to be constructive with his ludicrous amount of anomalies instead of trying to impress some super hipsters
<Voct> yep
<Uncandescent> I don't even hate him all that much for the implication that he was prepared to murder like, half the people who listened to his CDs
-----
<Cardinal> The transcripted bits at the end are pretty neat
<Cardinal> Though his death seemed… anticlimactic
<Voct> a climax would have been impressive
<Voct> he wasn't allowed to do anything impressive

-snip-

I'm still of the opinion that of all the things the Foundation has that would change the world or revolutionize it, you've chosen to make your stand on the one that is literally universe destroying if containment is not followed. Go tell me next that SCP-140 sounds like a very nice group of people, or that the people behind SCP-186 had the right ideas, or that SCP-106 should be a free man. Incidentally, anyone who has read 106 should also read Treats (after, and not before reading 106).

On a totally unrelated subject did anyone hear about that thing down in Samothrace?

[Max™]

Great, can we get some cleaners in here to [REDACT] misko27?

[misko27]

Oh hey I was looking for an excuse to post this.

Spoiler: SCP-682 vs. The Procrastination Rock: (click to show/hide)

[Egan_BW]

Oh gods 682 is so adorable.

[Akura]

If you really wanted infinite reaction mass, couldn't you just tell that drink machine thing to make lots of rocket fuel?

If I recall, SCP-294 doesn't create what it dispenses, it summons it from elsewhere.


I'm curious, what would happen if SCP-239 got ahold of SCP-674? In short, SCP-674 is a light-gun for the NES that makes its users irrefutably believe the people they shoot with it are actually shot, while SCP-239 is a little girl who can warp reality according to what she believes is true. Would the people 239 shoots with 674 actually be shot?

[Egan_BW]

Yeah, but given the size of the universe, almost anything nonspecific you summon may as well be created right there.

[Cthulhu]

I decided to take a crack at writing one.  Tech writing is my field so I'm pretty good at the clinical tone and I like writing weird shit in weirder genres.

I'm taking a call of cthulhu game I've given up on ever running and doing something productive with it.

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

Bloody Armok...

I've been reading up about the other GoIs, the Groups of Interest, and I'm sympathising with a few of them. The Manna Foundation is the practical and safe application of skips for the common good - check. The Serpent's Hand, the Wanderer's Library - awesome in so many ways. It doesn't have an ideology, it's just a collection of people with sentiments that I can totally get behind. And the Black Queen, the Serpent's Tooth? Appears to be a single in-charge person leading - but it's really not. And the Church of the Broken God? Mekhane, intellect and machine! And he is the serpent in the garden, so that is linked to the Serpent's Hand in a sense (I find them everywhere) he is wisdom intellect and knowledge, and he has broken himself for us#%$

But I like the Foundation so much! The loose sense of morals, abandoned when either SCIENTIFIC CURIOSITY or LESSER EVIL requires it? Awesome! And when the Flesh that Hates arrives, I'd rather see it contained. Not destroyed, not spread, but SCIENCED.

And this is awesome, because it's realistic. In Real Life, you don't have a single Good Protagonist with Evil Enemies, you might have someone or something you're focusing on, but everything is shades of gray and nobody is safe and when the collective sense of reality fails, who is to say who has done the most? And was it ever worth it, really?

Spoiler: CLEARANCE LEVEL%%% those without numbers may enter (click to show/hide)

I'm sorry, you know, I never meant to spread it, that part happened on its own