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[UltraValican]

Question: You gonna make these guys do the quiz round, where every time they get an answer right they get to move forward... and for every wrong answer, they lose 1 HP? :3

This is the internet, these questions would have to be VERY VERY VAUGUE AND HARD.

[Dwarmin]

Can't wait to see you guys get to the shrine of the silver monkey.

[1] You try to put the head on the bottom. The crowd laughs.

[2] Center, head than the bottom? no

[1] You complete the Silver Monkey upside down. Kurt Fogg mocks your existence.

Kids had so much trouble with that.

[monk12]

Can't wait to see you guys get to the shrine of the silver monkey.

[1] You try to put the head on the bottom. The crowd laughs.

[2] Center, head than the bottom? no

[1] You complete the Silver Monkey upside down. Kurt Fogg mocks your existence.

Kids had so much trouble with that.

True, but who can fault them for having trouble with such a fiendish puzzle? (7:35)


Since it's something like 2am in lawastooshort's locale, I doubt we'll be hearing from him tonight. On the plus side, over the last few hours I've learned that Quetzlcoatl wasn't worshiped by just the Aztecs, the Mayans did math in Base 20 and the voice of Olmec was Dee Bradley Baker, better known as the voice of the better part of my childhood with roles including (but not limited to) Daffy Duck and Taz from Space Jam, Dad in Cow and Chicken, the father of Mandy and her associated Grim Adventures, and basically a whole ton of random monsters. Also Perry the Platypus, more recently.

SPOILER ALERT, I finished your inventory. If anyone has any art skillz and wants to do me a solid and make an ominous looking Kirk Fogg, go right ahead, otherwise I'll have to put my meagre 'shop skills on display.



Sinpwn- Jimbo
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
dermonster- Derek
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
Gatleos- Zach
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
lawastooshort-
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
IronyOwl- Mouse
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
Tersr- Matthew
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal

[Toaster]

Waitlist, please!  Enjoying DMRTD too much to pass on this.

[Tiruin]

Shove me in the waitlist please

Brings back memories...

[Theifofdreams]

Waitlist Get.
(Darn you, busy-ness!)

[lawastooshort]

Kobosh (given name Jedrek)
Red Jaguars!

Many apologies for the delay!

[monk12]

Turn 0
Exposition time, with your host, Kiiiiirk Foooooogg!

Soundtrack- The Overture


We'll do our best to equip you- you've already received your Eastpac Travel Bag to stow important items in, and your Sketchers Skate Shoes will help you elude any pursuit. I am also issuing each one of you a Motorola Walkie-Talkie, so that you may communicate with each other in the event you are separated, or ask me questions. Do you have any questions before we arrive?
Mr. Fogg, why are you stuffing children into an ancient temple of doom?
  We've stuffed a great many people into that ancient temple of doom. The first archaeologists who tried to investigate were eliminated. Local militia troops that responded to the attack were also eliminated. As were the mercenary ninjas, Green Berets, Navy SEALS, Mounties, and the ragtag group of unlikely heroes. The replacement archaeologists determined that children were once the only living things tolerated within the walls, and the orphan testing proved them right.
Mr. Fogg, why are we all on separate teams if we're all looking for the same thing?
Subsequent testing proved that, while being a child was enough to gain entrance to the Complex, entrance to the Temple itself was much more demanding. The symbols you wear were once worn by children much like you, who also sought entrance to the Temple. The Temple Gate will only open if one representative of each Mayincatec spirit is present. We do not currently know the significance of this.
Mr. Fogg, are there going to be neat things in there besides the treasure?
We have reason to believe that the Temple contains objects of great power, once thought only to exist in myth. We do not know how they came to the Temple. The real goal, however, is the Inner Chamber- we believe that everything hinges on what may lie inside.
Mr. Fogg, are there... Temple Guards?


The uncomfortable silence is broken as the plane touches down. You are ushered across a steamy South American airport to a waiting attack helicopter, which flies you up into the high reaches of the Andes Mountains. After an interminable flight, you descend through the primordial mists in to a tiny mountain valley. The Eastern end of the valley is dominated by the Temple Complex- the Western end has a base camp set up. You can see many other children there.

Mr. Fogg ushers you to a rickety aluminum tower. Climbing it, you find you can see into the Temple Complex, although your view is obscured by multiple constructions within the walls.

I'll be observing your progress from here. You can see that the outer complex is surrounded by these high walls. We don't know what the purpose behind those other buildings within the walls- we know that going inside ends poorly almost all the time. The streets are a bit of a maze in there, but you should be able to navigate them without too much trouble. That zigguraut at the Westernmost edge is the Temple itself- things will become much more dangerous once you make it that far. Now get over there- what, are you waiting for me to hold your hand?

A short walk later, you stand before the open gates of the Temple Complex. A red chalk semicircle centered on the gates shows where the adults cannot pass. A few archaeologists are examining the engravings that cover the wall. The gates open into a dark and forbidding tunnel, but you can see sunlight at the other end.

The choices are yours and yours alone!

Sinpwn- Jimbo
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
dermonster- Derek
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
Gatleos- Zach
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
lawastooshort- Kobosh
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
IronyOwl- Mouse
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
Tersr- Matthew
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal

[Gatleos]

Proceed cautiously through the tunnel, sliding my hand over the left wall to check for dart shooters.

[Tersr]

Does the same as Gatleos but to the right wall

[Dermonster]

Do the same, but check the ceiling, and not just for darts.

[Sinpwn]

Find some rocks and throw them in before the group to see if any traps can be triggered that way.

[IronyOwl]

Skate on in at a decent speed.


Also, the "We've stuffed a lot of people in there" line was awesome.

[lawastooshort]

Crawl cautiously along the floor on my stomach, checking for traps and hidden clues.

[monk12]

Turn 1
Feast or famine with the rolls, it appears

Find some rocks and throw them in before the group to see if any traps can be triggered that way.

[1] Jimbo decides to find some rocks to check for traps with. Unfortunately, there isn't any on the ground before the gate. Jimbo can't find any on the path either, or along the walls, or in the rainforest. It isn't until Jimbo is uprooting a small fern that he realizes he is nowhere near the Temple Complex.

Jimbo, where the hell are you going? Over.

Proceed cautiously through the tunnel, sliding my hand over the left wall to check for dart shooters.

[5] Zach presses up the left wall, feeling for seams along the cold stone. As he gingerly tiptoes along the wall, he feels no irregularities.

Does the same as Gatleos but to the right wall

[6] Matthew does much the same as Zach, although he doesn't so much tiptoe as prance through the tunnel. He finds no traps.

Do the same, but check the ceiling, and not just for darts.

[6] Derek looks at the ceiling of the tunnel, high above. He'd sure hate to get crushed by some falling rocks, or a portcullis or some other horribly spiky thing. He jogs over to the archaeologist's tent, and steals one of the tent poles. Ignoring their shouts of alarm, Derek then proceeds to run full tilt at the gate!

He expertly pole-vaults up into the upper reaches of the tunnel, noting that there is a rather intricate frieze up here that was invisible from below. As he starts to fall back to earth, Derek jams his pole between a pair of particularly large statues at the other end of the tunnel. No traps up here!

Yeah! Green Monkeys for life!
Derek, how are you going to get back down? Over.
...fudgesicles.

Crawl cautiously along the floor on my stomach, checking for traps and hidden clues.

[1] Kobosh drops to the floor, but gets back up after a bit of crawling succeeds only in tearing his jeans. Mom's gonna be so mad when she finds out...

Skate on in at a decent speed.

[6] Mouse flicks open the skate portion of his skate shoes, and zips into the tunnel! The tunnel is paved with large, smooth, even stones, and he breezes through as easily as he completed his first Temple Run. Mouse had made it through in one go with only a single Life Pendant, and had effortlessly assembled the Silver Monkey to boot! That'll show those other dumb kids who couldn't figure it out.

Mouse is distracted by that happy memory, and is rather startled when he bursts into the light at the other end of the tunnel! There is a rather small plaza with much smaller, irregular stones than the tunnel. There are paths East and West along the wall, as well as one sorta North-Easterly- they all turn abruptly after a dozen paces. Mouse tries to stop, but instead trips, hurtling through one of doorways of the tall, ornate buildings that fill the Complex.

Shaking his head, he stands back up, examining his new surroundings. The entire building appears to be hollow, sunlight faintly shining through narrow windowslits. In one corner of the building is another door leading outside- in the opposite corner is what appears to be a small dark pit. There appear to be more shadows than there should be in that corner- but there appears to be a faint light rising up the pit...

Sinpwn- Jimbo
Status- In the rainforest somewhere
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
dermonster- Derek
Status- Hanging from a pole atop the tunnel mouth
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie, 10 foot pole
Status- Normal
Gatleos- Zach
Status- Successfully traversing the tunnel
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
lawastooshort- Kobosh
Status- Sheepishly catching up with Zach and Matt
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
IronyOwl- Mouse
Status- In those buildings you weren't supposed to go in
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal
Tersr- Matthew
Status- Also successfully traversing the tunnel, if a bit more flamboyantly
HP- 5/5
Inventory- Eastpac Travel Bag, Sketchers Skate Shoes, Motorola Walkie-Talkie
Status- Normal