> Breath a great sigh that echos across your new world.
> Suddenly the Dark Titan Sargeras appears, he stands next to a floating chess board. Upon closer examination you realize the pieces are living. "Humans or Demons Blood God? Your predecessor always replaced the humans with Dwarves for some reason. Let's have a little chat. You can have the universe by the way. Just be prepared to face me and my Burning Legion. I believe you've already met three of my Dreadlords."
Yes I'm boring, I can only use Warcraft Characters. And yes it appears Armok knew Sargeras. It's a small universe.
After taking a moment to look everything over, I sigh, feeling much more at ease upon seeing all that I've accomplished in a fairly short time span. The sound of my breath is heard throughout my newest created planet. Some inhabitants are frightened by the ominous noise, while others simply pass it off as the sound of the wind.
Just then, hovering above the star of the planetary system, I see a large, horned humanoid setting the pieces of a fittingly large (relative to his size) chess table. As he places the last piece, he asks which set I'd prefer, "humans or demons." A very peculiar chess set, especially considering that the pieces themselves appear to be living entities.
The horned humanoid mentions that he used to play this game with Armok, who would always choose to use dwarves for his set, and informs me that he would like to have a small talk. He tells me that I am free to maintain control of the universe, yet warns me to be ready for the eventual clash between us that will result from having such control.
"Heh, as generous an offer as that is, you're not the one I'm worried might take it from me.", I say, before deciding to go with humans.
Sock puppet man sits comfortable on Susan. He points at the stars forming shapes and attempting to teach Susan how to read 'the maths and sciences of traditional people'. What? Either way he seems quite occupied. WHEN SUDDENLY. A black hole begins to tear open again. Another sock puppet flies into his laps, laying softly, and as the portal closes, you almost feel inclined. You rush to stop this from happening, but it is too late. Sock puppet man, is now Dual wielding Socks. He grows silent staring at the sock puppet, and as you jump up Susan to put your hand on his shoulder you go to ask him if he is okay, when he turns around. Then he forces them to make out. "OH I LOVE YOU" He says in a feminine voice, "Oh yes.." He then mimics a deeper tone than his own. You now wonder how Sock puppet man transcends reality at this point. You try and wrap your head around it, but dont even bother. You go to try and remove both sock puppets before this becomes a problem. When you attempt to touch them though, you are, to a normal mortal, lethally shocked. You survive, but it didn't feel good. Standing back up on Susan you begin to see colors again. The dark hooded figures have returned. You are on a grassy plane, and sock puppet man is sitting on a small red firefighter truck, still making his sock puppets make out. You look to your hands and you do not feel immortal or godly anymore. What is this you wonder? Christopher Columbus then comes rushing through the landscape, breaking apart the ground with a tough wooden ship, and he jumps down raising his hands to you. "I am motherfucking Christopher Columbus." What?... What is happening. You look to sock puppet man who still has both his sock puppets. "What is happening you ask him?" He then looks to you. "We were playing firetrucks and I named it Susan and you were all like pew pew pew all over the place." Sock puppet man points to some trees that have been burnt and knocked down. "What?" For a moment he smiles. "We had a good play time, they gave everyone yummies." There is a nearby bag and cautiously you watch the hooded figures as you pick it up and smell it a bit. You don't know, but it is strong, the colors show again for a moment, and you need to shake your head to get it off. (Sorry if I just ruined the story but it just wouldnt be fun too much longer if DZA was a god)
Before making my first move, I quickly check back on the pepperjack moon to make sure all is well. The sock puppet man is busy spending time with his new colossal friend. Everyone else seems to be getting along fine as well. Lovely, it Looks like I should be able to get through at least a round or two without any distrac-
Black hole portal out of fucking nowhere!Suddenly, another one of the strange black holes open up near Susan, and spit out a second sock puppet. Which, of course, lands lightly on the sock puppet man's lap. Thinking about the dozens ways this could lead to something going horribly wrong, I apologize to my horned acquaintance for having to postpone the game, and hastily go forth to stop things from progressing before anything gets out of hand.
By the time I my body is manifested on the pepperjack moon, the black hole is already closed, and the sock puppet man is quietly sitting atop Susan, looking at the second sock puppet he now wears over his other hand. Fast as I can, I make my way up to the top of the six-armed beast, and cautiously approach the sock puppet man.
"You alright, dude?", I ask, reaching out to him. I am then mildly disturbed when he turns around, and begins to demonstrate a moment of intense passion between the two sock puppets.
refusing to let this escalate any further, I try taking the sock puppets away from him. Unfortunately, as soon as I grab ahold of them, a powerful bolt of energy travels through my body, causing me to fall over as my muscles twitch and spasm. As I regain my balance and attempt to stand, I find that my vision seems to be malfunctioning. My sight is clouded by many constantly changing bright colors dancing about everywhere I look. I stare straight ahead, trying desperately to focus, yet am only made more confused when I see a familiar group of robed figures standing in front of me, as well as the sock puppet man sitting contently on top of a little firetruck, continuing to act out a scene of romance between his sock puppets. My vision starts to return to normal, which reveals to me that no longer am I standing atop the head of a colossal six-armed monstrosity, but am instead in the middle of some grassy field, with a few trees scattered hither thither. I am also worried when I notice that my godly powers feel like they've entirely disappeared. "Have I gone completely mad?", I think.
At that moment, 14th century explorer Christopher Columbus steers his sturdy wooden ship across the land, stopping upon reaching my location. He hops down from his vessel, announcing to me that he is, in fact, Christopher Columbus. "Yep, I'm insane.", I tell myself.
I look to the sock puppet man, who is still sitting on the firetruck, and ask if he has any idea what the hell is happening. After all, if there's anyone here experienced in dealing with being batshit crazy, it's him. He turns toward me, and, after doing a rather poor job at describing what events took place, points to some damaged trees. From what I am able to deduce, apparently, we've been playing some sort of game. Smiling, he then informs that we were also given...'yummies'.
I then glance over at a small bag laying on the grassy floor, and begin to wonder if its contents may be able to give me more insight into what has occurred. Keeping an eye on the robed figures, I go to pick up the bag. Noticing it's odd, almost intoxicating scent, I take a second to sniff the bag and analyze it further. Without warning, my vision once again clouds with bright, dizzying colors. Once it wares off, everything starts to make sense. "Was...Was I drugged?"
The longer I ponder this possibility, the more things seem to fit together. Could my entire reign of godhood been nothing more than a hallucination? Shocked at first by this revelation, I slowly begin to feel more relieved with the knowledge that I am not really responsible for the fate of the whole universe. In fact, for the first time in a long while, I actually feel completely carefree. You know, maybe, this was all for the b- "D.Z.A!" I hear a voice suddenly shout from behind me.
I turn around and am even more shocked to see Mr. Referee standing there, holding a book of some kind. "What is going on here??", he inquires. "I honestly have no fucking clue...", I reply.
"I'll tell you exactly what's going on here, you're violating the official rules of the Deity Battle Tournament!", he says.
"What? How so? I've somehow reverted back to my mortal state state. Hell, right now, I'm not sure that I ever even left it. I highly doubt be qualified to compete in the tournament like this.", I explain.
"Precisely! You returned to your mortal state
after agreeing to participate in the official Deity Battle Tournament! No mortals, not even ex-deity mortals, are allowed to participate in the Deity Battle Tournament. Otherwise it would have to be called the Deity-and-Also-Ex-Deity-Mortal Battle Tournament! I am sorry to say that you, D.Z.A., have been disqualified, and will have to begin your four eon long imprisonment immediately."
"Wait, but it isn't even my fault that I became a mortal! It's not like I simply threw away my powers and chose to have the ability to die again! Besides, you never once mentioned that turning into a mortal would mean I'd still have to be imprisoned!", I argue.
"I gave you the rules for
competing in the Deity Battle Tournament. If you wanted the complete list of rules, standards, and restrictions, you should have asked for a copy of the official Deity Battle Rulebook." he says, showing me the cover of the book he's been holding. "Now then, please wait a moment while I locate the proper incantation..." He then begins to flip through the pages of the book.
Shit.
Name: D.Z.A.
Sex: Male
Age: 16
Badassery Level: Great.
Location: grassy field.
Inventory: Mysterious bag.
Poll
3 (75%)
Author
Topic: You are Me, Chapter IV: Into Lands Unknown (Read 130791 times)