Looking at the suggestions you guys made, I can tell right now, shit's about to get crazy. Let's rock:
Run!
And while you're doing that fire Flesh Liberator's beam attack at the toad-man.
Use the other guy as a shield.
"Yeah...No. You can't have Flesh Liberator". I then immediately bolt away from the toad man. As I do so, I notice Flesh Liberator's engravings are glowing much brighter than normal, and I feel a strange tingling in my hand. I then preform an awesome action dive, spinning around mid-air to fire off a beam of energy from Flesh Liberator's spear end, hitting the toad man dead-center in the torso! "Holy shit it fires lasers!!"
Scorched and smoking, he fidgets around on the floor for a while, before going completely limp. Figuring he's met his end, I begin to take my leave. When suddenly, I hear an unholy croaking noise coming from from toad man's corpse. He slowly brings himself to his feet, then reaches into his mouth, and pulls out a large hammer of some sort. He strikes the ground with it, creating an impressive crack in the concrete, that travels across the floor and reaches the gas station,
splitting it in half! "Oh shit..."
The hammer-wielding, scorched toad man walks toward me slowly. In my slight panic, I notice that I seem to have a faint aura surrounding me. That spearsword beam dive attack
was unbelievably awesome. I don't think my Badassery Level has ever been this high before...
I action-roll over to the still dazed drug dealer, and lift him by his shirt. This guy is huge, Even I'm amazed I can lift him with one arm. I bet a guy his size would make for an excellent shield....
Give him the sword. He'll blast your from existence.
OR
Attempt to kill Toady.
OR
Negotiate.
Before things get worse, I try to take a more peaceful approach. Weapon down, I walk toward the(probably quite pissed off) toad man, "Listen, it doesn't have to be this way. Together, we could do anything we want. There's no need for us to kill each other. What do you say?". He holds out his hand again, expecting Flesh Liberator to be placed in it. "No means no!", I proclaim. He then swings his hammer, striking the drug dealer/meatshield in the head, which then explodes into a bloody vapor. "Alright, no diplomacy then."
I jump back, lifting my swordspear and headless meatshield and entering a combat stance. "bring it on, toad man."
Start a forum game called "You Are Me".
For some reason, I briefly recall the forum game I made when at my Base of Operations. "I should check up on that when I get home. I bet I've gotten quite a few replies by now", I think to myself.
Mental note made!Fire a massive laser beam from flesh liberator that will be refracted by the suspended air molecules in the clouds, causing smaller lasers to rain down around you leveling approximately a city block.
"Oh crap!", I say to myself, seeing that the toad man is now charging at me, hammer ready to ban me from existence. Feeling the badassery pulsing through my being, I jab Flesh Liberator into the ground. It's engraving glow brighter than ever, and the very fabric of timespace becomes distorted around me. Then, with a blinding flash, a gigantic beam of energy is fired directly upward into the sky. Everything goes silent, both the toad man and myself stare up at the sky, looking for any sign of the massive energy beam. Suddenly, like an assault from the heavens themselves, countless smaller laser beams rain down on the earth, puncturing through everything as if it's not even there.
It's difficult to see what's happening through the timespace distortion, but I see no sign of the toad man. After the laser rain ends, I look around to see a massive crater around me where there was once a good chunk of city. The toad man is nowhere to be seen, All I can find is his strange hammer, lying in the dirt and rubble.
Name: D.Z.A.
Sex: Male
Age: 16
Badassery Level:
MAXIMUM.
Location: Center of crater.
Inventory: Pocket lint, Flesh Liberator, body shield, 413$, lots o' drugs.