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[Yoink]

The first word of the name gives a hint...
Ooh burn! 

And to be on-topic, I recommend one of those little portable pianos like that guy in Peanuts has.

[ChairmanPoo]

Cant belive you havent taken my first suggestion of the Theramin seriously!

TBH I'd be willing to give it a try if I knew where to get such an odd contraption at a reasonable price

[Heron TSG]

Trumpet? It's just a tiny and pathetic version of a real instrument.

Spoiler: Even ask this glaring pair of eyes attached to a sweater. (click to show/hide)

[Tellemurius]

I can't rip on brass, without no brass i ain't got jazz.

[fqllve]

But the horn is like a spirally trumpet! Certainly it's more appropriate for modern jazz settings than say a coronet.

[Tellemurius]

But the horn is like a spirally trumpet! Certainly it's more appropriate for modern jazz settings than say a coronet.

its the worst instrument to fail first than a broken clarinet reed

[Zecro_The_Scourge]

            The violin, no questions asked.

                   

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWyI-58gpic&ob=av3e

[Vector]

... Just making sure you know that the music in the video is heavily doctored so that the violinist is playing with herself.  The violin alone doesn't actually sound like that.

[Putnam]

I would say that the piano and guitar are best to start on. You can learn a whole lot of music theory from the two of them, so long as you look up what exactly the theory, well, IS.