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[Girlinhat]

Vermin do not engage in combat, ever.  I personally prefer blue peafowl, as I consider this a bit symbolic in some manner.  Any non-grazing animal will suffice.  Cats?

[Urist Imiknorris]

Groundhogs?

[Knarfle]

If only this baby were a little tougher...but I think it's mother only dropped it because it was on fire.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Trying this out now, engraving the room with inspirational engravings.


Oh hey, what a coincidence...my local civilization is called "The Infamous Chamber". This hole...it was made for me...

[Weary Exile]

It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care.

Mind if I sig this?

[Girlinhat]

Everything I say is sigged.  There's no reason to ask if it's ok anymore!

[Plank of Wood]

Hmm, is it still possible to melt off all of the fat on the Dwarf's body using Dwarf Central heating, essentially making them fireproof?


I mean, if we're going to traumatise them, we may as well make them hideous freaks too.

[Knarfle]

I have a useless cook migrant who is actually sleeping on top of the hatch. This is really aggravating.


  I already have a tame fox in the room. Foxes are smaller than dogs, right?

[DrKillPatient]

This is as bad as, if not worse, than the infant-drop strategy. 12 years of torture in a pit full of angry dogs.

...I like it. In fact, you could leave the walls out, and elevate the platform, so that unsuccessful children who are poor at blocking and dodging (in the right direction) get knocked into the dining hall anyway!

EDIT: or perhaps onto other platforms with increasingly threatening creatures, so you can watch the kids bounce from platform to platform, being batted around by rabid cave crocodiles, until they land hundreds of feet below in the dining hall.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Failures get returned to a future as cheap labor?

[DrKillPatient]

Say, dropping a kid onto a catapult just as it fires won't hurl it, right? On the off chance it does, you could wait for the kids to mature, and immediately fire them at a siege to let the poor dwarf take out its anger on some fleshy, unbearded targets.

[DoctorMonch]

When a mother gives birth in our fortress, the guards come and take the child away. The mother may protest, but the child no longer belongs to her, but the fortress.

The child is placed alone in a pit filled with crazed animals, along with food and drink fit for a king. Every few years, the "Invigorator" is powered, and searing flames purge their bodies of all weakness. Only the truly worthy live through the trials.

At the dawn of the 12th year that the child has been in the chamber, the gates are opened, and a single, burnt, sociopathic, killing machine is released into the fortress. They are lead to their private barracks where they take their rightful place as an elite warrior of fable.

Weapons fit for the gods themselves are forged in their name.

Armor is not necessary, for no weapon can pierce their skin.

They are the first, and last line of defense.

They are the Children Of Armok.

[Plank of Wood]

Good god, over time we would transform Dwarfs into husks of their former selves - horribly deformed and degraded by their hellish experiments, abhorred by civilised beings. They were fearless in combat, almost immune to almost all attack and yet were incredibly violent and hateful. Eventually they would seal themselves off from the world, going deeper and deeper until they finally sealed off their world from the surface using the very blue metal they sought after.

Armok help whoever disturbs them.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Best HFS origin story ever. Screw the consequences, we have supersoldiers to make.

[Nil Eyeglazed]

Not to be a spoilsport, because this is a great idea, but:

I think you'd probably see half of them go crazy from failed moods.

You can get away with a large area, btw, if you make a single tile large meeting area.  They'll still fight.

[Plank of Wood]

Best HFS origin story ever. Screw the consequences, we have supersoldiers to make.

Urist McLeader stopped eating Kitten Tripe : Creating God


I can imagine the goblins showing up with kidnapped human soldiers by their side, looking at the 12 year old horribly deformed kids and thinking "Woah, that's a bit too much, don't you think?"