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[Yoink]

"Filthy waterbreather! Here, now you'll be a ground-breather!!"
Rovod tackles the thing, grabs its head and bashes it face-first into the ground repeatedly, acting more on terrified adrenaline than anything.
After doing that a few times, he'll run off back the way he came from, and try to recover from this shock with a nice drink of pigs' milk.

[Urist McDwarfFortress]

Try not to break any of the mer carp-man's bones though, those can sometimes be quite valuable.

[Yoink]

Well, I'll just break the skull... You can't make much out of those in DF anyhow.

[Bardum Idith]

twist to the right, then back to the left and use the momentum to ram the pickaxe into the monster's chest.

hit: d12-2=9, evade: d12-2=-1, dmg: (1d4+2)/0.8=4
You roll around and hack the ogre in the crotch!
Berstid Udildesis, Wood burner, is a Novice Miner now!


hit: d12-2=8, evade: d12+1=2, dmg: (1d8+1)/0.7=11
Despite your new dodging skill the ogre manages to land a kick directly into your face, transforming your head into a mangled lump of flesh.
Berstid Udildesis, Wood burner, has been struck down!

(Urgh, that was really bad luck. The dodge roll was a 1, then the ogre got a 6 for his hit zone roll and a 7 for damage. I'm almost sorry for killing you )

Zan scratches his beard. And then goes upstairs.

Some bugs hop out as you scratch your beard...

pull the lever back to it's original position, and whistle as if i had done nothing. go back upstairs

You reset the lever and go up the stairs with Zan and Sibrek.
"I, uhm, have an idea... concerning your treatment... Actually, your clean clothes would make fine bandages, it's just... you need something to put on..."
Sibrek looks to Zan.
"By the way, what's with your health? Did you drink from that stew, too?"

>_

"Filthy waterbreather! Here, now you'll be a ground-breather!!"
Rovod tackles the thing, grabs its head and bashes it face-first into the ground repeatedly, acting more on terrified adrenaline than anything.
After doing that a few times, he'll run off back the way he came from, and try to recover from this shock with a nice drink of pigs' milk.

grappling check: d12-1=7, d12=4, dmg: 1d4+1=4
Shouting speciesist insults you hit the merman's head against the rocks and inflict some nasty wounds!


grappling check (mer): d12+2=9, d12=4
flopping check: d12=7, d12=11
The slippery beast manages to free himself from your grasp and skips around at the solid ground, failing to reach the sea.
Rovod Roofpulleys, Milker, is a Novice Wrestler now!

(Since your plan did not totally succeed, you don't run away this turn. Also, you have no more milk! And the merperson is only a male...)

>_

Next on the waiting list is our God Armok, with Guydon Moistbodlies. Please reply if you still follow this thread, so you can spawn next turn.

Spoiler: blind cave ogre (click to show/hide)

HP: 5/16

Armor:
(6) head: 0.7
(5) arms: 1.0
(3-4) upper body: 1.0
(2) lower body: 0.8
(1) legs: 1.0

Attacks:
punch: hit +0, 1d6 dmg
kick: hit -2, 1d8+1 dmg
bite: hit +0, 2d3 dmg

Spoiler: merman (click to show/hide)

HP: 5/10

Armor:
(6) head: 0.7
(5) arms: 1.0
(3-4) upper body: 1.0
(1-2) tail: 0.8

Attacks:
punch: hit +0, 1d4 dmg
slap: hit -1, 1d5 dmg

Spoiler: Sibrek (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10

Equipment:
worn old pig tail dress
rat (hauled/eaten)

Spoiler: Berstid Udildesis (click to show/hide)

HP: -4/10

Skills:
Adequate Wood burner (+2)
Novice Dodger (+1)
Novice Miner (+1)

Inventory:
pig tail coat (worn)
ash covering (face)
ash covering (upper body)
rusty copper pick: hit-2, 1d4+2 dmg (wielded)
chert mechanism
bar of dwarven zombie ash

Spoiler: Askot Bokbondeler (click to show/hide)

HP: 4/10

Skills:
Skilled Record keeper (+4)

Inventory:
pig tail coat (worn)
writing feather (worn)
fungiwood flask of ink
dwarven skull

Spoiler: Zan Malicepowder (click to show/hide)

HP: 7/10

Skills:
Competent Potash maker (+3)
Novice Drummer (+1)

Inventory:
bone: hit-1, 1d5 dmg
pig tail coat (worn)
2 potash bars

Spoiler: Rovod Roofpulleys (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10

Skills:
Competent Milker (+3)
Novice Wrestler (+1)

Inventory:
pig tail coat (worn)
empty tower cap flask
moongoose feather

[IronyOwl]

Oh, you feel sorry for killing him. You've got no problem moongoosing me away, but when it comes to the wood burner...


Really though, that is a shame. He was doing so well, then got one-shot.

[Askot Bokbondeler]

claim the corpse-in-the-cell's socks, and the rest of them clothes. put them on and hand over my own to Sibrek

[Yoink]

Reading between the lines, I'm rather sure I detected a somewhat sadistic glee in the "Berstid Udildesis, Wood burner, is a Novice Miner now!" "Berstid Udildesis, Wood burner, has been struck down!"


Erm... What now? They just didn't tell you about this kind of thing in milking classes. Then again, Rovod was mostly self-taught anyway. He'd just always had a natural love for- Oh no, not time to get distracted by thoughts of milking!
Rovod will attempt to grab the merman by the fins and drag him back up the way he came, with the occasional dunk in the water to keep them alive. Also, he will sniff the air with his mighty nose for any scent of a more-useful female mermaid.

"Come along, carp-man! You'll make a great addition to a *Crystal glass terrarium* at the fortress! ...Er, once I find the fortress..."
Failing that, seafood could be just the thing to cheer him up once he reaches his fellow dwarves at their outpost.
He mainly plans to use this no-doubt fine male specimen to eventually attract a female! Imagine that, mermaid milk!
Rovod licks his lips.
Of course, with milk, it's not the having, it's the getting, he always said.

[Askot Bokbondeler]

that's...disturbing

[Haspen]

"It had fine meaty aftertaste to it, if you ask for details."

Spend the moment further practising drummer skills.

[Bardum Idith]

Oh, you feel sorry for killing him. You've got no problem moongoosing me away, but when it comes to the wood burner...


Really though, that is a shame. He was doing so well, then got one-shot.

Well, what made me sorry were these extreme dice rolls leading to such an overkill damage. That would have killed a totally healthy dwarf...

Also, the moongoose grabbed you at the edge of an ocean and flew upwards. It wasn't my fault you didn't bother to look down 
The merpeople surely would have rescued you...

Reading between the lines, I'm rather sure I detected a somewhat sadistic glee in the "Berstid Udildesis, Wood burner, is a Novice Miner now!" "Berstid Udildesis, Wood burner, has been struck down!"

Oh, right. I wasn't aware of that while writing, I only saw that it would improve Berstid's "highscore"/epitaph...

[Yoink]

Hey, I'm not complaining. The GM's gotta have some fun, right? Now let's just hope Rovod's not next...

[Galick]

Bahaha, you were right, you did draw the bone flying from the skull.  Very nicely done, Bardum.  Loving this so far

By the way, IS there even a bloody fortress out in wherever-the-fuck-they-are?

[Armok]

Sure am still following!

And as I mentioned I'd like a presser. I think that was one of the available professions.

[hachnslay]

... there are levers. it has to be a fortress. it probably is down at the first cave layer, though.
can i has waitinglist for attempt to top my old highstore?
Odcith Arelor
Fish Dissector

Saphire colored Eyes.
Emerald colored beard, though most of it is seatang.
He likes Mer-creatures for their pricey bones and absolutely detests Ogres.

[Bardum Idith]

claim the corpse-in-the-cell's socks, and the rest of them clothes. put them on and hand over my own to Sibrek

After robbing the sockless dead you give your clothes to Sibrek, who tears them apart into bandages.

>_

"It had fine meaty aftertaste to it, if you ask for details."

Spend the moment further practising drummer skills.

drumming check: d12+1=6, d12=1
You play some nice patterns on the heavy metal grate.
Sibrek fastens the splints on Askot's body with some bandages.

"Ahh... Shall I treat you, too?", she asks you.
To Askot: "Since you are quite injured you maybe should rest very soon, because the bloodletting will weaken you even further."

>_

Rovod will attempt to grab the merman by the fins and drag him back up the way he came, with the occasional dunk in the water to keep them alive. Also, he will sniff the air with his mighty nose for any scent of a more-useful female mermaid.

"Come along, carp-man! You'll make a great addition to a *Crystal glass terrarium* at the fortress! ...Er, once I find the fortress..."

grappling check: d12+1=12, d12+2=14
You drag the merman around for a while, but as you dunk him into the water he seizes his chance, slips out of your grasp and disappears in the sea!
Sniffing with your mighty nose you only smell salty water. A lot of it.

>_

Guydon Moistbodlies, presser

More that two months of traveling are behind you, but now you arrived at the dwarven village Nolęthushat at last, of which you heard that it direly needs pressers.
South of you is a hillside while to the east you can see a small wood. To the north there is a cliff leading down to the ocean that surrounds the plateau of land you are standing on.
Down at the shore a dwarf seems to be standing. A bird is flying in the distance.

>_

Spoiler: Sibrek (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10

Equipment:
worn old pig tail dress
rat (hauled/eaten)

Spoiler: Askot Bokbondeler (click to show/hide)

HP: 4/10

Skills:
Skilled Record keeper (+4)

Inventory:
worn old pig tail coat (worn)
writing feather (worn)
fungiwood flask of ink
dwarven skull

Spoiler: Zan Malicepowder (click to show/hide)

HP: 7/10

Skills:
Competent Potash maker (+3)
Novice Drummer (+1)

Inventory:
bone: hit-1, 1d5 dmg
pig tail coat (worn)
2 potash bars

Spoiler: Rovod Roofpulleys (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10

Skills:
Competent Milker (+3)
Novice Wrestler (+1)

Inventory:
pig tail coat (worn)
empty tower cap flask
moongoose feather

Spoiler: Guydon Moistbodlies (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10

Skills:
Competent Presser (+3)

Inventory:
pig tail coat (worn)
black-cap flask of rock nut oil