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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 475762 times)

Vyro

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Quoting one elvish philosopher, "Some gardeners sing to plants; I tell them stories - stories of how they once ruled the world, of mortals who destroyed their kind, and of revenge." The trees have waited long enough.

Why do the elves dislike menacing spikes decorations on trade junk, even though they throw fits about soap and then come ambush you because of it?
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Enchiridion

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Because elves are one of the most intelligent, most advanced, most menacing, most sophisticated(this last part may actually be true XD) race in the entirety of DF right next to cave Gorlaks.

Speaking of which, who do elves no longer send their tree priest guy at me to complain about how many trees I've cut?
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Max™

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They do, you might have an older version running, but I get the diplomat visits... though I screwed it up by kiling him when the right thing to do is agree to not cut trees then clear cut everything, as THAT can get you involved in a war with the cannibal treehumpers.

Why does it piss the elves off more to break a promise about cutting down trees than it does to have them walk past the arrayed corpses of previous diplomats/merchants and into the waiting arms and axes of my military?
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Aslandus

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Elves grow from trees, so they consider trees more valuable (since they can make dozens of elves) than any number of individual elves

How do elves clear enough space to use wagons for caravans if they never cut down trees?

Quartz_Mace

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I didn't think that they had wagons. They just load a couple hundred pounds per random animal and drag them hundreds of miles to the next trading destination. All they had to do to decrease the animals' suffering was chop down a few trees... But they are Elves. As far as space, they just find a clearing.

Why are there always so many Elves?
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blazing glory

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Because they literally grow on trees.

Why don't creatures eventually die from bruising since it's internal bleeding?
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pisskop

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Because they literally grow on trees.

Why don't creatures eventually die from bruising since it's internal bleeding?
Capillaries dont hold much blood

Why cant I embark with a herd of elk birds?
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Quartz_Mace

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Because they literally grow on trees.

Why don't creatures eventually die from bruising since it's internal bleeding?
Capillaries dont hold much blood

Why cant I embark with a herd of elk birds?
They'd instantly gore your starting Dwarves. It's too much FUN.

Why are Trogolytes so pathetic?
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Aslandus

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They're the same size as dwarves, but they don't wear clothes and don't carry weapons, how strong do you think they should be when faced with bunch of drunks who spend all day hauling boulders while wearing three layers of thick cloth?

Why does ice become unmeltable when built into walls?

Vorox

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That's just another miracle of the glorious Dwarven Engineering. The same engineering that lets you build a massive castle on a single block of soap.





Why don't dwarves drink milk?
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Arcvasti

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Dwarves don't drink anything non-alchoholic, except in emergencies. No emergency is worth drinking... DAIRY.
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Aslandus

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Well you see, the essence of       is to     and


How many catapults does it take to beat a ballista?

StagnantSoul

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A lot. Too many. I was launching bauxite out of a lineup of catapults, they were bouncing off of wool clothing. Incase you didn't know, bauxite is the second heaviest stone, behind the unobtainable slade. An iron bolt killed about four goblins and hurt a fifth in one shot.
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Arcvasti

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Twelve. The only way catapults outdo ballista's is in how common their ammunition is. And the fact that you can transport stone huge distances with it. So you make a relay circle where the same ~12 stones are passed from catapult from catapult endlessly, crushing anything that gets in their way. And you can add stones to the cycle pretty easily with a twelfth catapult outside the ring of the others next to a major stone stockpile. Using naturally heavy rocks helps a lot too. Both of them fail next to minecarts though, both in transportation and in damage and utility.

Why do tree roots instantly disappear when you cut the tree?
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StagnantSoul

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Because the dwarves completely remove the tree, roots and all, as is done in real life when clear cutting in the period Dwarf Fortress is set.
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Quote from: Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum
I threw night creature blood into a night creature's heart and she pulled it out and bled to death.
Quote from: Eric Blank
Places to jibber madly at each other, got it
Quote from: NJW2000
If any of them are made of fire, throw stuff, run, and think non-flammable thoughts.
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