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Author Topic: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game  (Read 96785 times)

ImBocaire

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #240 on: August 08, 2011, 06:16:35 pm »

I love the fact that despite being mauled by giant badgers at the beginning of the fortress, I've outlived all the other overseers. It's a damn sight better than dying of thirst in bed eventually, let me tell you.
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GrizzleBridges

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #241 on: August 08, 2011, 08:55:21 pm »

Funny stuff. Ive enjoyed reading this thread.
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andyman564

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #242 on: August 08, 2011, 09:51:23 pm »

OOC: sorry in advance for no pics of the epic battle, i was so busy writing i forgot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN AMBUSH OF GOBLIN PIKEMEN HAVE BEEN SPOTTED BY THE ENTRANCE! i wonder how many other civilizations would like to attack us at this particular time..

<Unknown Date>

as the dwarves barreled out of the narrow hallway the tigermen, who were taken completely by surprise, turned and fled. that just leaves the goblins, a fair fight, we outnumber them 2 to 1.

No! one of our boys has been slain! and several others have nasty wounds, though the goblins have taken some heavy hits as well, two of them are bleeding out with severed limbs strewn everywhere, while the other three only have light wounds.

A SECOND GOBLIN AMBUSH! AND THEY'VE BROUGHT BOWMEN! i shouted down for the militia to retreat back to the barracks, knowing exactly what would become of them if they didn't.

WHAT! instead of retreating as ordered, our militia commander has decided to charge the goblin bowmen!it was truly an amazing sight, each arrow that flew his way was effortlessly sidestepped, and the goblins  were awestruck by his grace, but he didn't stop to engage the archers, he simple ran right trough them and proceeded towards the badgermen... WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE"S DOING!

meanwhile one of the militia has fallen unconscious, is surrounded by beak wolves and is quickly turning into a pincushion, WHY WON'T YOU GUYS HELP YOUR SQUAD MATE! finally, with arrows sticking out of every visible part of his body, the poor recruit died from a lucky shot to the skull. his death will not be in vein.

our wayward militia commander has finally realized that engaging an army of badgermen alone is not a good idea and is running back to engage the archers!

i can't belie it... after drawing some fire from the marksmen he and receiving a couple minor hits, the militia commander ran back towards the badgermen! it looks like the goblins are out of ammo, at least our lone swordsdwarf stands a chance now.

there's now only two of our militia left outside, a swordsdwarf, who is heavily wounded and engaging the entire goblin ambush on her own, and our crazy militia commander, who is fighting a Beak wolf and a badgerman. the swordsdwarf is running towards the militia commander! maybe together they can break the goblin's moral! it was beautiful journal, the two of them standing back to back, surrounded by goblins, they exchanged som blows, nothing substantial when they both took off in separate directions!

the swordsdawrf has run north, towards the badgerman camp, while the militia commander ran south, both attempting to make it back to the safety of the fort. the goblins chased the swordsdwarf into the bardgerman camp. she is surrounded, there is no hope for her. i watched as a goblin cleaved her right hand off at the wrist, taking her weapon with it. as her wounds mounted she became more and more desperate. with a sudden surge of strength she bolted from the melee and headed towards the fortress! she almost made it. almost.

with less than 50 urists to go she suddenly spun around and charged the her goblin pursuers! something strange happened then, her movements became less frantic, more coordinated, she seemed to shrug off any blow that landed on her. i've heard of these displays of might before, i think they are referred to as "martial trances".

just as quickly as it started, it was over, her moments became more erratic, trying frantically to swat aside the incoming attacks from all angles. if only she had kept running. wait a minute! she's broken free again! she might just make it! PREPARE TO RAISE THE DRAWBRIDGE! *sigh* why must our kind be so stupid? a simple right turn would have taken her to the safety of the fortress, instead she turned left.

I can't believe it! she's actually going to make it! seeing as their prey was much harder to kill than anticipated, the goblins gave up the chase, the swordsdwarf used this lull in the fighting to make a beeline to our gates. all that stood in her way now was a lone beak wolf. she then did something truly astounding, she bit the beakwolf in the tail, shook it around 'till it shattered and then proceeded to kick the unfortunate creature to death.

and what's that coming out of our gate? CIVILIANS!? i thought i told everyone to stay inside! Imbocaire and one of our glassmakers are running around on the surface now. i'll keep the gate open for the as long as i can.

NOOO! Imbocaire has run straight into the badgerman camp, He's surrounded! OH DEAR ARMOK! they're tearing him to bits! from my perch on the wind farms we could clearly hear Imbocaire's screams of agony as the badgermen mercilessly slaughtered him. Thankfully the galssmaker was able to outrun the badgerman chasing her and made it safely inside. the bridge has been raised.

7th Limestone

We failed. yes we broke the frogmen and tigremen siege. even routed the goblins, but the badgermen still persist, and as long as they are camped there, no caravans will even consider coming to trade with us. not that we can do anything about it anyways, 3 out of 4 of our remaining militia are bedridden in the hospital, awaiting treatment.

Many dwarves are unhappy with the sudden loss of so many of their kin, i fear that a riot is not far away. to commend their bravery over the past 10 days each surviving soldier is getting their own tomb, save for the lone recruit who slept though the whole thing. and it seems that in the midst of all the chaos of battle a child was born!

10th Limestone

Success! the magma leak has been sealed! the tube should fill at a much faster rate now. the doctors have spotted infection on our bedridden dwarfs! i've set up an ashery and soapers workshop, i hope we can get a few bars made in time.

26th Limestone

One of our Blacksmiths has Claimed an forge and is uttering nonsense! i fear that she has become possessed by one of the spirits of the recently departed.

3rd Sandstone

today the Blacksmith started shaping the materials she gathered into... something... all we can get out of her is "Siberk Ritharustuth", her own name.

7th Sandstone

Siberk came out of the forge today, exhausted and drenched with sweat, holding up an iron bed and shouting SIBERK RITHARUSTUH!". when we finally coaxed her into putting the bed down i went to work examining it.



What!? no menacing spikes!? though i do enjoy the image of the gem harp, it really never gets old. and i know just where to put it. unfortunately she has learned nothing from this experience and remains merely Accomplished at her work.

9th Sandstone

the magma level has surpassed our forge area, i'm opening the floodgate to begin filling the forge channel.

22nd Sandstone

Poor Sibrek has been complaining for weeks now that she's too injured to pick up her equipment. it's starting to irritate that doctors, and the last thing you want when you have wounded dwarves is a pissed off doctor. i've removed her from military duty, with the promise that she'll return once she's healthy.

27th Sandstone

we've started some exploratory digging in search of more ore to smelt, whe shall need it shortly when our magma furnaces are powered up.

1st Timber

the magma forges are sparking to life! but since the magma level in the channel is still fluctuating, we only get intermittent power. or so i'm told from the metalworkers.

11th Timber

the metalworkers have informed me that the magma channel has reached high enough levels to sustain all of our forges and furnaces.

16th Timber



fuckberries.

Great News! the lookouts say that the Ettin arrived near the Badgerman camp and they started attacking each other! if we're lucky, both out problems will be solved.

i can't believe it! those badgermen are leaving! well, we've traded a horde of badgermen for a single Ettin... i'm not sure which one i prefer...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Yeah.  Thus why I didn't make a trap.  In it's current state the fortress didn't need a trap, the whole damn fortress is a trap.

Putnam

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #243 on: August 09, 2011, 04:22:32 am »

Ettins aren't that bad! They're like cyclopes who happen to require two beheadings/brainings

Demonic Spoon

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #244 on: August 09, 2011, 06:24:03 am »

just out of curiosity, where DID you put that damned pressure plate? i've done a pretty thorough search and still haven't found it   ::)

Right next to the northmost of the floodgates, by the t-rex in a box.

EDIT: Wait, what magma leak? I thought I plugged all of those.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2011, 07:48:17 am by Demonic Spoon »
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GrizzleBridges

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #245 on: August 09, 2011, 11:48:18 am »

I've never seen a dwarf create an artifact with their own name. Does that happen a lot?
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Demonic Spoon

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #246 on: August 09, 2011, 01:32:21 pm »

I've had it happen a few times. Not a lot though.
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andyman564

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #247 on: August 09, 2011, 03:25:07 pm »

EDIT: Wait, what magma leak? I thought I plugged all of those.

there was a leaky up/down staircase in a room filled with magma with iron bridges along the edges. i think that room may have been a drain for the volcano when the pump stack was being constructed.
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Yeah.  Thus why I didn't make a trap.  In it's current state the fortress didn't need a trap, the whole damn fortress is a trap.

billybobfred

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #248 on: August 09, 2011, 07:40:00 pm »

I've never seen a dwarf create an artifact with their own name. Does that happen a lot?
It's happened often enough that it's probably more than a coincidence.
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ImBocaire

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #249 on: August 09, 2011, 07:44:23 pm »

Hey, it was longer than I expected.

Badgers.... my nemesis. We must mount the ImBocaire Memorial War of Badger Extermination.
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andyman564

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #250 on: August 09, 2011, 10:34:56 pm »

20th Timber

the sounds of shattering glass and snapping logs echoed off the mountain today, as our friendly neighborhood Ettin went about destroying hatches and windmills.

28th Timber

the lookouts swear that they've seen a ghostly dwarven soldier floating around the entrance. they've identified it as the forlorn spirit of Iden Degellesast, an axedwarf. i'm having a memorial slab carved as i write.

1st Moonstone

the winds of winter are blowing again, and thanks to the badgermen, not a single caravan even attempted to trade with us, we are truly on our own out here.

our mayor came to me today, he was downright furious. he screamed at me "IF YOU SHALL NOT FURNISH MY ROOM THEN I SHALL DO SO MYSELF!"

fuck, i knew i had forgotten to do something.

he then slapped a piece of parchment on my workbench, scattering gemstones everywhere, and stormed out of my workroom. i curiously picked up the parchment, on it, written in massive, blocky letters, was this message:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I MANDATE THAT TWO GREEN GLASS ITEMS BE CONSTRUCTED! NON-COMPLIANCE IS PUNISHABLE BY SEVERE BEATINGS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well... easy enough, i've set our glassmakers to making all the furnishings that a mayor could possibly want.
the door to Imbocaire's suite has been locked, it shall be saved for someone who is truly deserving of it's glory.

2nd Moonstone

Another ghost has been spotted! this one was identified as Vabok Rigothag, who was one of the newest members of the militia before his death.

and the Ettin has been spotted running towards our entrance! she's in the hall of death!! the noise of a hundred saw blades spinning could be heard from anywhere in the fortress proper. when everything was quiet again i rushed to the entrance barracks, carefully unlocked the door and crept around the corner. DEAD! THE BEAST IS DEAD! EVERYONE PREPARE TO COLLECT THE CORPSES OF YOUR COMRADES!

15th Moonstone

all the fallen have been laid to rest, and most of their possessions have been collected. i've had the mechanics link the green glass bridge at our entrance to the blue lever in the dining hall. now we can easily isolate hostiles squads and butcher them without the risk of our soldiers running wildly over the countryside. i've also put an outdoor trade depot here, and roofed over the enclosure. the depot and roof are, of course made from the finest green glass blocks available.

in other news, Aban has informed me that our tomb is complete! she blindfolded me and led me down to the burail hallway.

suddenly, we stopped.

"You can take off your blindfold now honey"

we were standing in front on a magnificent lay pewter door!

"open the door sweetie"

as i entered i was astounded by the sheer size of out final resting place. fully smoothed and engraved, with five statues that i decorated myself adorning the walls, and many bags places along the diagonal sections to store our personal belongings. in the center are two golden sarcophagi, and surrounding them are our magnificent pillars.

this picture i drew can never fully encompass it's beauty.



needless to say, my future wife doesn't like to be second best.

22nd Moonstone

my sweetheart had another burst of inspiration toady and added some windows and a glass door between the pillars in our tomb.

also, the mayor has finally received his quarters. and has made another production mandate. Ungrateful bastard.

20th Opal

i have finally convinced Aban that our tomb will be the crowning jewel of Touchedbells for many years to come. any more additions, and our grand burial chamber would be no more than an overcrowded junk room.

AND WILL SOMEONE TELL SIGUN TO SHUT THE HELL UP! she's been trying to grab her right mitten out in the field ever since she got out of bed, only to realize that she no longer has a right hand.

also, the magma channel has reached peak capacity, i've ordered the channel floodgate closed to prevent the magma from flowing back into the volcano.

1st Obsidian

Migrants have been spotted cresting the mountain. damn, more paperwork and less time cutting and setting gems..

eight, eight more useless migrants. seven of them have been drafted into the militia and told to suit up and start training. the last migrant was only spared from military service due to the squad being full. at least they brought a couple of grazers we could slaughter.

15th Obsidian

A snatcher was caught in our cage trap today. i'm sealing the outer bridge to ward off the ambush that is sure to follow. the fort isn't ready to lose another six good soldiers.

16th Obsidian

Another possessed dwarf has claimed a workshop and is gathering materials! it seems that the dwarf in question is a woodcrafter... nothing good can come of this.

Sigun has been permanently retired from the militia. if she can't even pick up a glove, how can she hope to wield a sword in battle?

20th Obsidian

I have been informed that the vast majority of the dwarves in the fortress want me to step down. something about killing too many dwarves for no gain. it seems that if i don't do so by the new year they will feed me to the "T-Rex in a box".

against my better judgement, i have decided to stay in office until the last possible moment. The device MUST be activated.

at least they are still letting me pick my successor.

21st Obsidian

Urist McPossessedDwarf has started constructing something! with all those materials going into it, this better be one badass trinket.

25th Obsidian

our woodcrafter has finished her construction! a wooden scepter...



 well the only thing keeping this piece of junk form being chucked in the volcano is that it depicts our queen's rise to power... and the picture of the gem harp didn't hurt either.

28th Obsidian

as the angry mob has demanded, i am stepping down. tonight, at the stroke of midnight, i shall pick the next overseer.

little do they know that i had just enough time to activate THE DEVICE.

1st Granite

HA! you should have seen the looks on their faces! at midnight i threw a single fire opal into the crowd. one unlucky slob picked it up and exclaimed "It's MINE!". i quickly ran up to him and congratulated him on becoming the next overseer, then i ran off to my workshop. i'm still here, cutting and placing gems. and here i shall stay.

OOC:
here's the save file CLICK HERE
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Yeah.  Thus why I didn't make a trap.  In it's current state the fortress didn't need a trap, the whole damn fortress is a trap.

Jimlad11

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #251 on: August 10, 2011, 06:57:03 am »

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« Last Edit: March 13, 2018, 01:42:49 pm by Jimlad11 »
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billybobfred

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #252 on: August 10, 2011, 10:51:59 am »

All right! Who's next?

*checks turn list*

... Wow a lot of people got skipped. I thought for sure this fort would die before I got it. I'll get started, then.
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billybobfred

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #253 on: August 10, 2011, 11:26:15 am »

1st Granite
So, apparently this fire opal represents leadership.

All right, then--


WHAT THE SPORE JUST HAPPENED

(Welp that was fast.)
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GrizzleBridges

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Re: Screw the Next Player Over! A Succession Game
« Reply #254 on: August 10, 2011, 12:01:20 pm »



The Dwarfanity!
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