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Author Topic: Most Impressive Combat Reports  (Read 35420 times)

Girlinhat

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Most Impressive Combat Reports
« on: June 06, 2011, 10:53:51 pm »

So, you've got a Legendary+5 axe, fighter, dodger, and shield dwarf.  He's slain hundreds of enemies and even his bloodsoaked ☼Steel High Boot☼ has a name.  The average siege gives him 200 pages of combat reports and two dozen dead enemies.

Somewhere among the endless combat logs, you notice something spectacular.
Quote
The militia commander hacks The White Tigerman Axeman in the lower body with his ({steel battle axe}) and the severed part sails off in an arc!
Quote
The militia commander hacks The Frog Man Swordsman in the upper body with his (steel battle axe), tearing apart the muscle and tearing apart the heart!
A major artery in the heart has been opened by the attack!
The (steel battle axe) has lodged firmly in the wound!

Show me what you've got.

Putnam

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2011, 11:33:13 pm »

I would post something, but I've played far too much adventurer to find anything impressive in the combat reports  :'(

Seriously, man, it's almost disappointing how easy it is to bisect night creature trolls (hacks lower body and severed part sails off in an arc!) en masse.

The tearing apart the heart thing is a bit less common, though. I think my favorite was:

Quote
You kick the honey badger in the upper body with your left foot, bruising the muscle, breaking the right floating rib, shattering the left true rib and jamming the left true rib into the heart, tearing apart the heart!
A major artery in the heart has been opened by an attack!
(I wait for 2 steps)
Quote
"The honey badger has bled to death."

EDIT: oh, well, look, I posted something anyway, silly me.

Agent_86

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2011, 12:25:36 am »

Just survived a siege of war elephants...  my militia commander got something like "the militia commander bashes the war elephant champion in the head with his [insert shield name here], shattering the skull and tearing the brain through the -large steel helm-!  the [insert shield name here] has lodged firmly in the wound!"
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Cheet4h

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2011, 01:13:20 am »

On one of my embarks i got a master armorsmith in the second migration wave and so produced high quality gear from the beginning on. In year 2 then i had a goblin siege, which broke into the entrance area due to poor planning and i dispatched a squad to deal with them. Not the wisest of my ideas, but yeah. I start over 3 times a day or so, so it doesn't matter that much.
Well, after my militia commander was heavily wounded and fell down, the goblin Axe Lord tried to dispatch of him with a nice, fast hack in the head. The result i got, were 9+ pages full of "The Goblin Axe Lord hacks the militia commander in the head, but the attack failed because of the *iron helm*" (Or at least, anything like this. Don't remember the correct phrase).
It ended, when a goblin maceman also came and squashed his head with a single blow.
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Oliolli

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #4 on: June 07, 2011, 01:34:30 am »

I think it goes "...the attack is deflected by the *iron helm*!"
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Sandrew

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2011, 02:51:53 am »

I stabbed a dragon in the head and decapitated a hill titan yesterday. I wish I could post the post the reports but they're probably gone by now.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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celem

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2011, 03:16:56 am »

I was busy losing a legendary woodcutter to a Giant once when the baby in the woodcutter's arms swings, Giant dodges, off the bridge, down 5 z-levels onto upright menacing iron spikes.  That one  was a good read.

I also rather liked the FB with cavein dust that appeared recently.  It was made of red sand and blew itself into a wall and burst immediately
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thunktone

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2011, 03:46:42 am »

I don't have the quotes anymore but I was impressed when one of my marksdwarfs knocked the head of a giant snow toad with his crossbow (it was a reclaim and I forgot to bring ammo).

Or I always liked (paraphrasing):
Quote
You charge the bunny!
The bunny seems surprised by the ferocity of your onslaught.
You grab the bunny by the throat.
You latch on firmly.
You bite the bunny in the head.
You latch on firmly.
You shake the bunny around by the head with your upper front tooth.
The severed part sails off in an arc.
You drink the bunny blood spatter.

I was busy losing a legendary woodcutter to a Giant once when the baby in the woodcutter's arms swings, Giant dodges, off the bridge, down 5 z-levels onto upright menacing iron spikes.  That one  was a good read.

I had one like this the other day. One of my hammer dwarfs was unconscious with three goblin swordsman playing drums on his helmet for about a week. Eventually they just got bored and left. Unfortunately the hospital was flooded with magma a few days later as I was testing my obsidian portcullis.
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Whenever dwarves get into melee, their first reaction is to place their baby on their head, to allow free use of both hands, and thus any headshot instead strikes the child.

Tharwen

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2011, 06:09:39 am »

A kitten killed my first Forgotten Beast by scratching it in the head. That was pretty impressive.

Or there was the time that one of my soldiers lay on the ground for a month, getting kicked by skeletal camels. That was also pretty impressive. Fortunately, that also bought me time to make some better anti-camel defences and get the civilians to safety.
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Girlinhat

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #9 on: June 07, 2011, 08:16:23 am »

There was my first GCS capture as well.  My soldier was clad in full masterwork steel, my main like of defense along with several disposable soldiers who mostly kept the enemy busy until her axe could work down the line.  I sent her to lure the GCS to my cage, because it wasn't taking the door bait that I had set up.  I order her to move nearby, the GCS sees her, and I cancel her order.  She runs off like a little pansy civilian, with the spider following.  Of course, it shoots webs, catches up, and spends the better part of a whole season biting her helmet until she's eventually falling asleep on the cavern floor and nearly dehydrated.  She then, apparently, decided, "fuck this, I want a drink" and promptly ignores the spider as she walked through the web and fangs and into the main stairwell.  The spider was captured.  A short time later, a dozen titans were captured.

Mungrul

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #10 on: June 07, 2011, 08:48:03 am »

I think the most impressive one I've seen from my militia commander was when he bit a goblin in the heart and proceeded to shake said gobbo around like a chew-toy.
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Oliolli

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2011, 09:34:10 am »

I think the most impressive one I've seen from my militia commander was when he bit a goblin in the heart and proceeded to shake said gobbo around like a chew-toy.

I just got a mental image of a dwarf tearing out a goblins heart in an unholy blood ceremony...
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Quote from: Girlinhat
When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy
You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
Quote from: Loud Whispers
drowning babies everywhere o-o

Psieye

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #12 on: June 07, 2011, 09:51:05 am »

I think the most impressive one I've seen from my militia commander was when he bit a goblin in the heart and proceeded to shake said gobbo around like a chew-toy.
Hmm yeah, I mod the raws so I get combat messages like "The iron fist commander pokes the goblin lasher in the head with his left hand, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain." and "The flying, steel discus strikes the dusk elf swordsman in the guts and the severed part flies off in an arc!" but that one beats mine hands down.
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Military Training EXP Analysis
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Necro910

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #13 on: June 07, 2011, 09:52:31 am »

This is a common one, but it might be worth mentioning.

"He bites the goblin's mouth from behind, and latches on firmly!"

Mechatronic

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #14 on: June 07, 2011, 09:59:37 am »

I had a dwarf bite an elf in the lips and shake them around, apparently killing them. Kiss of death.
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