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[Elu]

@IT 900 and Necro: Thanks! I quite enjoyed drawing scribbling it as well. I was snickering like hell while drawing the third dorf panel in particular. Call me mad if you want, but remember that you people can talk about weaponizing babies and laugh at the same time.

Also, new theory on how dorfs build walls (and possibly other things).

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They simply gaze at it with that thoughtless smile until it autonomously assembles itself. Even females wear that face all the time, so surely they can do it as well. Different kinds of thoughtless smiles would be required for different jobs, hence the still-remaining professions. Carpenterface, masonface, metalsmithface... You name it, the dorfs have someone who can do it! If the gaze itself fails, they just revert to smashing their chiseled visage into the resistant object, until satisfactory results are achieved.

i LOVE the facial expressions of your drawings!
perhaps you may even make a "how it works, dorf style" illustrated series with the various strange things a dorf do in a work day...

however, cooking:
being made of solid stone, the kitchen consist of three blocks, one with a smooth top, used to mince ingredients and cook biscuits, one with a pot-like hole carved in for making delicious stew and the last with a stone skewer.
the problems of cleaning the stew from a hole in a stone, or extracting it from the pot without a dipper are easily solved, dwarf put beard into pot, absorb stew, reach over plate, wring stew from beard, about cleaning... bah, the remains will only make next stew more delicious.
finally the heat necessary for cooking is provided by dwarf rubbing his beard on the block at high velocity thus generating heat by attrition.

[Squirrelloid]

Magma Men are the results of dwarves who perished during certain mining accidents and were given a second blessed life by Armok as creatures of the holy magma.

[Necro910]

Magma Men are the results of dwarves who perished during certain mining accidents and were given a second blessed life by Armok as creatures of the holy magma.

No, it's just dwarves. Why do you think they go through all of your doors and into your fort in the most inconvenient manner?

They can't see, so they have to reach their arms out the only way they know. By beating the crap out of everything in their way!

[CaptainArchmage]

Dwarves drink by immersing themselves in barrels, and the length of drinks is determined by how fast they can extract themselves from the barrels. Brewing involves urinating in the barrel to provide the water.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Beards are dwarf DNA and are the actual intelligence of the dwarf.

The beards should be smaller, then.

[Syrup Roast]

@IT 900 and Necro: Thanks! I quite enjoyed drawing scribbling it as well. I was snickering like hell while drawing the third dorf panel in particular. Call me mad if you want, but remember that you people can talk about weaponizing babies and laugh at the same time.

Also, new theory on how dorfs build walls (and possibly other things).

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They simply gaze at it with that thoughtless smile until it autonomously assembles itself. Even females wear that face all the time, so surely they can do it as well. Different kinds of thoughtless smiles would be required for different jobs, hence the still-remaining professions. Carpenterface, masonface, metalsmithface... You name it, the dorfs have someone who can do it! If the gaze itself fails, they just revert to smashing their chiseled visage into the resistant object, until satisfactory results are achieved.

I would've liked it if the third panel was spread over something like three frames, with the view zooming in on the dorf's face until the second-to-last frame where the eyes turn red.

And then suddenly the wall was built.

But that's just me, I wouldn't redo it myself for fear of being ridiculed for stealing your art/idea.

[Shook]

Ah, but that'd be when they disassemble the wall. Building a wall takes a short enough time that only a single panel is needed. Tearing it down, however, requires several hours worth of mad glaring! (that, and i generally only operate with four panels at a time)
Regardless, extended and much creepier version.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You know we can't have a long, mindless stare without some kind of horrifying realization. It also serves to illustrate my point that, deep down inside, all dorfs are batshit insane alcoholic maniacs.

@Elu: That right there is a fantastic idea. We all know how weird dorfs are, but it's been illustrated too few times. AIN'T SO SUCH FING AS ENUFF ILLUSTRASHUNS.

Edit: Also, nightmare/mindfuck edition. Caution; long.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Necro910]

You know we can't have a long, mindless stare without some kind of horrifying realization. It also serves to illustrate my point that, deep down inside, all batshit insane alcoholic maniacs are dorfs.

Fixed. But it still needs more ma-...
mag...


MAGMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Nyxalinth]

A Dwarf doesn't need chisels or sandpaper, they just use their rock-hard fingers and calloused palms.

I was thinking this is the case.  It would also explain how in one of my 40d forts my dorfs wrestled a Hydra and three Dragons and a Titan to death.

[Naz]

Laughing so hard...abs hurt...goddammit shook...you hilarious bastard...

[expwnent]

This:
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=45446

[Eric Blank]

It's also common knowledge that goblins capture dwarven children specifically for their ability to deconstruct otherwise invincible constructed walls and floors.

[Teneb]

It's also common knowledge that goblins capture dwarven children specifically for their ability to deconstruct otherwise invincible constructed walls and floors.

Actually, that's just a bonus of capturing freeing them.

[Urist McTaverish]

Beards are dwarf DNA and are the actual intelligence of the dwarf.

The beards should be smaller, then.

Dwarf hair has much less genetic and information density than DNA or brain nerves, so they actually have to be that long for them to have the intelligence the do have.  For them to have human intelligence would require hair that could stretch to the moon and back.

[Necro910]

Beards are dwarf DNA and are the actual intelligence of the dwarf.

The beards should be smaller, then.

Dwarf hair has much less genetic and information density than DNA or brain nerves, so they actually have to be that long for them to have the intelligence the do have.  For them to have human intelligence would require hair that could stretch to the moon and back.

Very dorfy.

Someone should mod in a metal called "Beard" and make a giant tower of Beard to the top of the map.