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[iyaerP]

We pan down from a whiteout, and as the glare fades, we see it was from the sun. It is shining on a field of grass and flowers. Birds are singing, and soft gentle flute music is playing. A bumblebe flies into the scene, lands on the flower for a moment and then flies away.
Narrator: "Let me tell you a story. About love, peace, happyness and hope. The story of seven brave individuals who set forth to establish a new home, and the adventures that they went through."

We see a spurt of blood, and almost all of the flowers, plants and are covered in gore. The music has cut off here. A green limb flies overhead. The camera pans to see a small squad of armoured dwarves fighting a horde of hundreds of goblins. Limbs are flying everywhere and blood and fire are rampant. The dwarves are slowly retreating to a gate carved into a mountainside.
"The trials that they faced were many as fending for oneself in the grim and foreboding wilderness is no easy task. Food and drink had to be provided, as well as housing and the other essential amenities of life. And when they thought that their settlement was just starting to show some small signs of prosperity, they discovered that they had enemies who would stop at nothing to destroy them."

The dwarves reach the gate and close it behind them. The goblins beat on it without success. A roar is heard and a troll appears and moves through the goblin crowd up to the gate. The troll slams once, twice, three times upon the gate before it bursts, and it and the goblins swarm into the narrow corridor.

"What happened to that brave settlement, none save history know. Their story remains for you to discover, for this, is DWARF FORTRESS."

Cut to the dwarves at the end of the corrider, manning a ballista battery.  The camera stays on them for a moment before cutting back to the entrance with the goblin horde. A massive *CRACK* is heard and the goblins in the tunnel are bisected by the flying ballista bolt before it strikes the camera head-on and the screen fades to black, just as the narrator says the words "dwarf fortress".

Black fades to titlescreen before fading out to black again.

[TolyK]

^ epic right there.

[Bdthemag]

**Show's a group of kittens playing with yarn, and being really cute.**
**A Dwarf walks up to a nearby lever and pulls it.**
**A hole opens up underneath the kittens and they fall in.**
**Smoke then comes out of the hole, the dwarf grins.**

"Dwarf Fortress, the only game where its okay to kill kittens!"

[Chessrook44]

**Show's a group of kittens playing with yarn, and being really cute.**
**A Dwarf walks up to a nearby lever and pulls it.**
**A hole opens up underneath the kittens and they fall in.**
**Smoke then comes out of the hole, the dwarf grins.**

"Dwarf Fortress, the only game where its okay to kill kittens!"

And then PETA starts raging.

[Urist is dead tome]

**Show's a group of kittens playing with yarn, and being really cute.**
**A Dwarf walks up to a nearby lever and pulls it.**
**A hole opens up underneath the kittens and they fall in.**
**Smoke then comes out of the hole, the dwarf grins.**

"Dwarf Fortress, the only game where its okay to kill kittens!"

And then PETA starts raging.

And then we mod out kittens and out kittens and put in PETA members.

[TolyK]

**Show's a group of kittens playing with yarn, and being really cute.**
**A Dwarf walks up to a nearby lever and pulls it.**
**A hole opens up underneath the kittens and they fall in.**
**Smoke then comes out of the hole, the dwarf grins.**

"Dwarf Fortress, the only game where its okay to kill kittens!"

And then PETA starts raging.

And then we mod out kittens and out kittens and put in PETA members.

egggsactly.

[Oliolli]

**Show's a group of kittens playing with yarn, and being really cute.**
**A Dwarf walks up to a nearby lever and pulls it.**
**A hole opens up underneath the kittens and they fall in.**
**Smoke then comes out of the hole, the dwarf grins.**

"Dwarf Fortress, the only game where its okay to kill kittens!"

And then PETA starts raging.

And then we mod out kittens and out kittens and put in PETA members.

And then we would start armoring our troops with PETA leather armor.

[Gatleos]

Cacame Amalanelime, PETA Member has risen from the dead and is following Urvad Kuntob, Butcher!

[rarborman]

DF already had PETA members... they bitch about the enviroment and animal products.

[Jeoshua]

And we cover them in magma.

Screw PETA.  This game does not condone the killing of pwesioss kittenz.  It just doesn't punish you for controlling their numbers.

And you know, some of us just mod cats not to be so annoying, instead of killing them off wholesale.

[Urist is dead tome]

Strange, we frequently kill land kittens, but we live in fear of the kittens of the sea.

[Jeoshua]

Strange, we frequently kill land kittens, but we live in fear of the kittens of the sea.

Did I mention I also made Carp to [HUNTS_VERMIN]?

And spiders and bats, too... but that's another topic.

[Urist is dead tome]

Strange, we frequently kill land kittens, but we live in fear of the kittens of the sea.

Did I mention I also made Carp to [HUNTS_VERMIN]?

You mean elves?

[Fniff]

-A beautiful land. Hills, a large mountain dominating the sky and a beautiful river. A collection of fluffy wamblers toddle on the hills, and unicorns trot around. A group of dwarves come into view on a wagon. They get off it.-

Urist: Hey, I forgot a few barrels of beer at the mountainhomes.

Urist2: That's OK, we'll probably be fine.

-Words appear on the screen: "A Week Later..."-

-Naked dwarves babbling and brutally murdering each other. Magma is pouring out of the mountain, unicorns are screaming while impaling dwarves on their horns and some of the dwarves eating the fluffy wamblers.-

Narrator: Dwarf Fortress: A week is all it takes.

[Chessrook44]

-A beautiful land. Hills, a large mountain dominating the sky and a beautiful river. A collection of fluffy wamblers toddle on the hills, and unicorns trot around. A group of dwarves come into view on a wagon. They get off it.-

Urist: Hey, I forgot a few barrels of beer at the mountainhomes.

Urist2: That's OK, we'll probably be fine.

-Words appear on the screen: "A Week Later..."-

-Naked dwarves babbling and brutally murdering each other. Magma is pouring out of the mountain, unicorns are screaming while impaling dwarves on their horns and some of the dwarves eating the fluffy wamblers.-

Narrator: Dwarf Fortress: A week is all it takes.

The fact they hit magma and have it POURING out of the mountain in JUST a week is hilarious in and of itself.