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[psychologicalshock]

Ick, I can't imagine braiding a baby's beard right at birth. So sticky, bleck.

Sorry, I wasn't 100 percent clear.

They come OUT braided. Yeah.

Keep that mental image.

So they can braid their beard before they're even born but can't figure out that standing on a platform they're about to disconnect from it's support  isn't a good idea?

[Sarda]

Wrong, their beards GROW braided. Their beards steal all the smart from their brains.

[EveryZig]

So they can braid their beard before they're even born but can't figure out that standing on a platform they're about to disconnect from it's support  isn't a good idea?

That's dwarfs for you. Can carve an exquisite masterwork floodgate, and then trap themselves by attaching it from the wrong side of the tunnel.

[Birdy Bot]

HA! So, the beard-braid design (i.e. double braided, french-braid) is hard-coded into their DNA, and as it grows, the beard just twists autonomously.

Either that, or since their pregnant mothers are all in the military (rather than putting up their hairy feet in bed-rest, like humans), all that dodging wooden training spears tangles the baby's hair up.

[Sarda]

Nononono, their beards ARE their DNA.

[Birdy Bot]

HAHA! I just loudly guffawed in the silent section of the library. You're so right Sarda.\

So all this time, Female Dwarves (in vanilla) have been deprived of their DNA? That explains some things...

[Sarda]

Like? They still have pubi- Oh Armok, cancel that thought. Cancel it.


Anyway, they still have scalp hair. That might work. 

[Birdy Bot]

You really had to go there, didn't you? My delicate feminine sensibilities, damaged forever. Bleck, now, how do I get that mental image out of my head. Bad Sarda!

[Sarda]

I find the cheerful image of goblins sizzling in pools of magma helps. With baby dwarfs toasting marshmallows over their ashen corpses, too! 

[psychologicalshock]

Nononono, their beards ARE their DNA.

Makes sense - their beard is simply supercoiling like it has never been seen before, the DNA strands are thus kept outside of cells so that the cells can absorb more ethanol than their size would suggest.

[SirAaronIII]

What about if their beards are straight? I guess DDNA (dwarven DNA) is just different.

[Hammerstar]

I think we're still thinking too small. The beard is clearly the intelligent part making dwarves capable of any action whatsoever.

They're basically alcohol-fueled beards on legs.

[Sarda]

Well, I DID say the beards steal the smart from the brains, and DNA tells the cells what to do. Now the question is, how do the players tell the beards what to do? A crappy wi-fi connection? Explains why they suck so much at interpreting orders.

[psychologicalshock]

What about if their beards are straight? I guess DDNA (dwarven DNA) is just different.

Well that's simple - that's just lesser coiling, it's sort of like long chromosome strands growing out of their face.

The question though is - if the beard is removed how long does the host have to live? Also why can it not be targeted as of now?

Also - how is beard DNA transferred to progeny? Does the beard produce spores? If so why does the female only accept the spores of a "husband" beard?

[Ultimuh]

They're basically alcohol-fueled beards on legs.

"Now Dwarves, Sire, are like angry beards on legs. Angry, beer-soaked beards on legs. "