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[claer_runway]

Title says it all. due to some tragic cave-ins, the Urist McBaby apparently went nuts, and is now messagespamming me incessantly. he's still getting carried around by his mom. I realize this has probably been commented on before, but I would like to point out that I cant actually access his labor menu and disable he cleaning labor. so yeah. also somewhat humorous.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Clean Self jobs aren't affected by the cleaning labor. You have to wait for him to grow into a child and then he'll rush off to clean himself. He also isn't really insane - for some reason, the flag that sets creatures as babies is among the tags for various types of insanity.

[Lagslayer]

What kind of insane is it?

[Uristocrat]

Title says it all. due to some tragic cave-ins, the Urist McBaby apparently went nuts, and is now messagespamming me incessantly. he's still getting carried around by his mom. I realize this has probably been commented on before, but I would like to point out that I cant actually access his labor menu and disable he cleaning labor. so yeah. also somewhat humorous.

Build a Dwarven bathtub at the end of a hallway and put a lever on the far side of it.  Assign that lever to the baby's mother (make sure you have appointed a manager noble).  Once the mother wanders through the water carrying the baby, they should both get cleaned up.

The setup will look about like this:


#################
         ^    L #
         ^    L #
         ^    L #
#################

^ = Down ramps
L = Levers (Put in several so that more than one person can be forced to bathe)
# = Walls


Those ramps are the Dwarven bathtub.  You put in a pond zone and watch until there's 4/7 water down there.  Make sure they don't overfill, because draining that is a pain.  I've had great success in silencing the clean-self spammers with this technique in my fortress, especially the duchess who manages to get covered in blood fairly regularly for some reason.

Of course, if this baby is going insane because mom is dead, the I have to recommend an unfortunate accident.  Build a spike trap below the baby or build walls around it, then release a caged wild animal or something.  It's a pity the dwarves have never invented day care.

[Girlinhat]

Also, do this in front of your dining hall.  Dig 1 channel space at the door, fill it, and then channel to either side of that, to make it 3 wide.  This should give you perfect 2/7 water on all three spaces and force anyone who eats to walk through!

Or, go the more complex route, and build a waterfall instead of a door.

[PTTG??]

The Dwarven solution to dirty orphan babies: archetecture and deadly hazards. I'm frankly suprised the first suggestion wasn't magma.

This is at least different from the Elven solution to dirty orphan babies, which is dinner.

[Girlinhat]

Dirty Orphan Babies become FB watchguards.

[Uristocrat]

Also, do this in front of your dining hall.  Dig 1 channel space at the door, fill it, and then channel to either side of that, to make it 3 wide.  This should give you perfect 2/7 water on all three spaces and force anyone who eats to walk through!

Or, go the more complex route, and build a waterfall instead of a door.

Oh yes, I recommend a Dwarven bathtub in front of each entrance (including cavern entrances), in front of the hospital (prevent infections, save time on "clean patient"), and the dining room (or some other central area) as well as making the bathing area with do-nothing levers like the one I mentioned.

But nothing beats that design with a bathtub in the hallway in front of do-nothing levers for stopping a spammer.  Turn off the spammer's labors, assign them the lever, and the spam will be gone in no time.  If the hallway is long enough, you can even clean up dirty pets by getting them to follow their owners in there, just as you clean babies by sending their mother in to bathe.

Just for fun, I dig out the entire ditch, then reconstruct it out of microcline blocks (starting with the corners, of course) and make the up ramps out of soap.  I don't think that does anything, but it might help fight infection.

[Girlinhat]

I did this for my hospital, seemed to do nothing for infection or cleaning patients.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Try flooding it with magma.

[blue emu]

...  Build a spike trap below the baby or build walls around it, then release a caged wild animal or something.  It's a pity the dwarves have never invented day care.

I thought that WAS Dwarven day-care.

[claer_runway]

he isn't orphaned, his mom is still carrying him around. i thought maybe dad had died. but apparently just a glitch; whatever. wont take too long for him to grow up.

but yeah, funny message.

[Uristocrat]

I did this for my hospital, seemed to do nothing for infection or cleaning patients.

I think some wounds ooze out pus (or continue bleeding), so even though it does clean them when they go through, I guess that's not really the end of the story.

What we really need are movable fortress sections, so we can lower the hospital into a pond and then move it back out, cleaning everything at once.  Hopefully, that wouldn't cause too many patients to drown....

[Ipwnurmom221]

Kill the baby. If his family tantrums, kill them.

If they have no friends, then the problems done.

If they have friends, you can make use of your Legendary Engravers and try to keep your other dwarves happy after having an entire family killed.

[Girlinhat]

Or maybe it will.  I've got a lye maker with a cut foot who's been Resting for a half a year.  It's just too much of a bother to off him.