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[Silent_Thunder]

Many of you may have read the ill fated topic that proceeded this. However, with the offending parties in a 2 week timeout, I feel it is safe to redo this topic. Simply put, what have you done in fortress mode that made you stop and think "Man this would suck if i still had a conscience".

Try to stay on topic this time. Do not refrence what happened last time either.

[Lovechild]

A forgotten beast with deadly dust wandered onto the map, but was trapped between the edge, two trees and chunk of rock. I could have just left it there, but I was curious about the deadly dust... I sent a dwarf to dig the beast out.

Then I watched as the dust ate away his tissues from the inside out and the outside in, simultaneously.

[SmileyMan]

Whenever I build fortresses near a river, which is pretty much always, I like to include a Mutual Assured Destruction device - usually a triple floodgate holding the river back from a level near the top of the fort, and a lever deep in the bowels of the fortress.  Because in the event of invasion, I don't want the gobbos getting their hands on my dwarven technology.  Better that no-one has it and no-one lives.

I've only actually pulled one in anger once (I tend to quit through boredom or accidental tantrum spiral)  It was pretty horrible, but at least it was quite quick.

[Haruspex_Pariah]

I planned to abandon fort but wanted to go out in style, so I intentionally kept the militia upstairs while a forgotten beast ate through the civilians on the lower levels. Must have lost at least fifty dwarves before I got bored and abandoned the fort. Not my finest hour.

[Sandrew]

I killed a puppy because a mooding dwarf wanted bones. I don't really do horrible things. At least, not to my dwarves.

[ChairmanPoo]

I massacred all my incoming immigrants in a danger room for 6 years. This turned out to be a less than bright idea when they started to rise as violent ghosts and maul my dwarves. This, along with several casualties from a siege, made me fall into a tantrum spiral which killed all dwarves but three (I estimate the total casualties toll is about 130-140. I am managing to pull through this thanks to immigrants (Thank Armok that they keep coming even after you have proven that the worst North Korean gulag is likely a safer work environment), but it's been a year and I'm nowhere near burying all the bodies, let alone able to start megaprojecting again.

[yaklin]

I always have my hospital be connected to the moat, and since my hospital is segmented into rooms, I can kill off any dwarf that refuses to heal. For some reason, my dwarves won't clean up the pus and blood that is on the wall.
I am more upset about the dirty walls than the loss of dwarven life.

[Urist Imiknorris]

At the beginning of every year, I sterilize my hospital with magma. I have enough wood that I don't need to worry about all the beds I destroy like this, all the supplies are stored in a separate room, and the rest of the furniture is all magma-safe.

[Silent_Thunder]

At the beginning of every year, I sterilize my hospital with magma. I have enough wood that I don't need to worry about all the beds I destroy like this, all the supplies are stored in a separate room, and the rest of the furniture is all magma-safe.

Did I ever tell you how every time I read one of your posts, something inside me dies, and then is replaced by a core of pure evil? Thats awesome and I'm gonna have to remember that trick.

[Urist Imiknorris]

What? Magma is the only thing that will reliably get rid of the evidence FB syndrome-laden cripples FB contaminants.

[EmperorNuthulu]

I trapped a married couple in a small room that looked like the dwarf image. Their task to get out was simple, use the masons workshop to make tonnes of coffins out of the stone in the room before you die. Oh both of them didn't have that much masonry skill but they had to go, due to their slowness in killing a giant leopard my legendary woodcutter is dead. They failed the challenge, and started hunting for small creatures. I checked how unhappy the female dwarf was.......

She had a miscarriage.... that's right, i've accidentally invented dwarven abortion....

[lowbart]

I know this isn't a big deal on this forum, but in my fort, kittens are the most standard form of meat.

That way, I don't need to kill the adult cats that migrants bring as pets. But you have to slaughter the kittens right away before they adopt a dwarf. If there's a backlog and they somehow become adult cats without brainwashing a dwarf, they are allowed to be trained as warcats.


And I dunno if this qualifies as horrible, so much as a double edged sword: After a couple of years, once I have enough dogs, I start assigning a wardog (or warbull) to every dwarf. This has the combined effect of giving the dwarves bodyguards, and keeping them from causing too much chaos from tantruming.

"This is your dog, Urist McCanine. He will protect you with his life, but if you become a threat to the peace he will rip your arms off."

Also, if they fight in the central stairwell, they're likely to fall down the 50z garbage shaft.

[Urist Imiknorris]

I just found out that I have slaughtered and butchered (ethics modding) enough elves (and their mounts/war animals) in three years to fill a maximum-sized bone/corpse stockpile.

The solution is obvious: I need more bone carvers. Except this raises the issue that my finished goods stockpile is also full of bloodstained elven clothing. I also have two armor stockpiles - one for good stuff, one for elven wooden armor. Guess which one's larger, and guess which one's full. I sell the armor to the humans, and the much more valuable rope reed clothing to the Mountainhome.

Basically, my entire industry is based around the elves. Very directly. Elvenite litters my entire map.

[Namfuak]

I once made a fortress next to a river that only unfroze for a month or so every year.  It had a waterfall and then one of those big open areas next to it, so I built my bridge into the fortress next to where the falls were so that when they were going I would have natural mist.  I then made a wall across the top of the river, and would toss goblins about 5 z-levels down into the holding pen on the ice.  Basically, their broken bodies would lie in full view of anyone going over my main bridge, and they would spend the rest of their lives waiting for their impending doom when the ice melted and they had no bank to swim to.

[Makigall]

I recently had my first unfortunate accident with my count.  And I've learned a valuable lesson.  Don't suggest woodcutters for the nobility.  Basically he wanted me to make cave fish leather items because I guess I could catch cave fish somewhere in my caves and somehow turn them into leather.  I had none on hand and since his mandates were just asking for more cave fish leather items he had to go.  I executed my fort's first criminal, some unskilled leatherworker.  He got to test the height on the goblin drop tower.

So anyway my count.  After pitting about 8 crundles into his locked bedroom and a giant rat he had killed them all.  I ended up digging a cistern under his bedroom, installing a floor grate over a pit and rerouting the river through his bedroom.  Now the count's bedroom is coming equipped with upright iron spear traps.  Just one spear per tile.  I figure I can use my count to keep my hospital staff from getting too rusty.

In the next dining hall I'm installing a similar setup with goblins.  I've got several niches in the wall which after they've been smoothed and engraved I'll wall off with glass walls, I'd do windows if I thought I could avoid the cancellation spam.  And there will be single iron spikes in these rooms attached to individual levers in the dining hall.  And that'll be the entertainment, trying to find out how many pulls a goblin can survive, then letting them heal up, then doing more pulls.

Maybe after a few years I'll come up with a way to get them out and put them in a zoo.