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[RedWarrior0]

Well, with the disappearance of Mt. Helmath in the far nearer future compared to the death of a character, Rob the Fantasy character is now a pyrotechnician.

[Gatleos]

Please, for the love of Pete, DO NOT feed Da Derm

**********~
Turn 73
**********~

META TURN:

And now... The Cheetahmen.

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
C.H.E.E.T.A.H.

Actions

Meta: Counter-attack with my Mop, than crawl top the Wheelchair and dig it out.

(...) Channeling the custodial rage of Yanni The Yanitor, you swipe at the cheetah with your mop! (...) The mop strikes him in the head, sending him flying across the room! His claws rake across your flesh as they are pulled violently from the wound!

Meta: Use uncanny prediction to determine just the right spot to stab to disable Morbis's systems.  Stab said spot.

(...) Unsurprisingly, it's his head. You swing uselessly at thin air several meters from Morbis.

Meta: Hope my beard grows just in time as I throw the equipment off of myself in an epic way.

(...) You shove the equipment off of yourself and get on your feet! Your beard fails to appear.

RW: Use MC's wireless systems to hack Morbis and do some programming damage.

(...) You manage to disorient him temporarily.

Meta: DESTROY LECHUCK FOR HIS INSOLENCE!

(...) He chuckles madly as you toss spheres of psychic energy straight through him!

rrrraaaaggghhh

(...) Greco shoves the pile of scrap out of the way and sits up a bit.

RRRAAAWWWRRR

Morbis leaps at (...) Frelock! (...) He digs his claws into Frelock's chest and starts shaking him violently.

Mechanical Feline Twins
Cheetah Bros.
----------------------------
Greco
Head: Crushed
Body: Smashed Open
Arms: Scratched
Legs: Fine
Morbis
Head: Dented
Body: Torn Open
Arms: Fine
Legs: Fine

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Doing hacker stuff.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Spear | Marshall Coburn (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG (...)
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Gettin' shanked.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger
Wounds: Light Bleeding | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds (...)
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Throwing hate bolts.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle
Wounds: Broken Rib
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: Smackin' cheetahs.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner
Wounds: Missing Legs | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Standing semi-triumphantly.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades
Wounds: Missing Arm | Broken Nose | Fractured Leg
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser (...)

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

This island is going down!

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!

Current Soundtrack
Won't Stop, Just Go!

Actions

Fantasy:  Grab a row-boat, grab Urist, put him in the row-boat, get in row-boat, give chase to the boat.

(...) Your face contacts the dirt immediately. You lay there pondering your failure with disgust. Just then, a glowing cinder floats down from on high...

NOOOOOO not your beautiful blonde pompadour! Anything but that!

Fantasy: Drop the anchor and watch the fireworks on the island.

(...) You release the anchor and sit on the deck to watch the fireworks. Wait, there actually are fireworks. They're shooting out of the jungle! Huh. There must have been a pyrotechnician somewhere on this island. You hear a soft thump from the side of the ship, like a raft knocking against the side of the hull. Probably nothing.

Fantasy: Attach stone arm find out where on Earth (or wherever) I'm supposed to go.

(...) You assume you should be heading away from the burning jungle, so you start running toward the boat. You attach the stone arm and leap up onto the deck from the dock.

FW: Reverse summon to the ship deck!

(...) The world around you goes dark, and you appear on the deck of the ship. Yep. Everything's fine. YOU HAVE NO BONES OH MY GOD YOU CAN'T MOVE THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER

Fantasy: Find a dockside tavern- it has been FAR TOO LONG with no booze

(...) You step over Derm's undulating carcass, approach the railing, and scan the shore for an abandoned tavern. Ooh, there's one! Suddenly, a firework veers off-course and breaks through one of the tavern's windows. Moments later, the whole building blows apart in a massive boozesplosion! Oh well...

Oh hey, there's a goblin climbing onto the deck of the ship. What could he want?

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: Being a nasty blob thing.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Left Upper Canine Tooth | Keyring | George (commanding) | Giant Cat (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: No Bones | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Watching the show.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Elica Larifera (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Staring at the gobbo.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing
Abilities: Booze Power | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: BURNING
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x25 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Crooked Leg | Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Currently: Standing on the deck.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Very Heavy Bleeding | Broken Toe
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard
Name: George
Description: A 1.5-foot-tall rat with a scorpion stinger, gills and fins! He takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: Wooden Spear
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Amphibious

Locations
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat

[monk12]

Oh my that was a rough fantasy turn.

Meta: MINDCRUSH MORBIS! CRUSH CRUSH CRUSH

Fantasy: Repel the boarders!

[Dermonster]

Oh my god I don't want to die this is the best RTD ever and I don't wanna miss it ;.;

RW: Finish off Greebo

MC: Directive: Free Frelock

FW: Use summoning magic and my tooth as a reagent to summon a new skeletal system for my body.

George: Crawl out of my blobby mess and stand guard or something.

[monk12]

And here I expected you to steal skeletons

[Dermonster]

Look, just because I want everyone dead does not mean I'm going to start with the bastards guarding my quivering fleshpile of a body.

[monk12]

I figured it would be the goblin, or a random townsperson, or an important NPC.

And, you want everyone dead? I'm more than slightly terrified now.

[Dermonster]

What? You thought you were exempt? Why the hell did you think I called out that maelstrom or the fire? In-story, I want to kill everyone.

OOC I just want to stay alive because DAMMIT THIS IS MY FAVORITE RTD IN EVER ^.^

[Gatleos]

I restrained myself from taking your skin too. "The sails of the navy frigate have been replaced with Derm flesh!"

[Dermonster]

0.o yeah that is a bit overkill...

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Patch up the wound
Fantasy: Put out the fire, than repeat previous action.

[_DivideByZero_]

Meta: Yell at Kyle to heal me after he's finished, then continue waiting for my beard.
Fantasy: Find an anvil, a hammer, and a chain.

[Frelock]

Meta: Stab the head!  Stab the head!

Fantasy: Convince derm's body that it can, and should, grow new bones.

[Dermonster]

Could you change that to "Can and most certainly will cast a successful spell."?

[Frelock]

I just talk.  The magic was within you all along!

Also, the only spell I know is legsplosion, so I'd rather not use that wording.