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[Kebooo]

Ophis patrolled through the camps of his million man army, conveniently located to stop any potential invaders from the south or east.  He twirled a strand of his hair as he skipped along, but flinched when he saw Nurbis.  Nurbis had been successful in his recent campaigns against the abominable Marverni.  Ophis hoped that historians would remember the peaceful nature of Abysia and how Marverni began the conflict with an illegal incursion toward his nation's capital.  As Nurbis approached, Ophis could see he wore a necklace that contained the skulls and hands of his slain enemies.  Nurbis was a large, behemoth of a man, causing the puny, pathetic, insignificant Marverni skulls used to protect their miniature brains to appear rather small dangling in front of his chest.  With fresh blood still dripping from his axes, Nurbis walked past without a word.  He was off to kill more Marverni.

A stray arrow streaked through the sky and pierced Nurbis's heart, ending his life.  Ophis fell to his knees and wept.

[Il Palazzo]

"What does he want?" Asked Mary Sue.
"He says that he wants to know if the sudden buildup of our forcers on their borders means that we're going to attack them."
"And he thinks that we'd tell him what our plans are? Tell him to bugger off and go back to his gym, or something."
"Yes Mistress. Right away."
"No, wait!" Mary Sue had a devious idea. "Let's do something they would never expect, and tell them the truth. Show the envoy around our forges and our army camp, and then take him to the command tent, so that he can see all the maps and the planned attack directions. Make sure that he knows that we'll be attacking from Gondor Northwards, from Khazad-Dum Eastwards, and from Western Rohan too, as soon as we get rid of that idiotic barbarian horde stalling our army there. Got it?"
"Y... Yes, Mistress."
"Good, now leave me alone."

"This surely will confuse the hell out of them. I'm so clever, my husband surely will compliment me on my shrewd idea." Thought M.S.Hubbard.

[slMagnvox]

Clearly, I cannot choose the wine in front of me!

[Akhier the Dragon hearted]

Clearly, I cannot choose the wine in front of me!

   The secret is that when given the choice of 2 glasses
of wine you choose the third option of taking a swig of
whiskey from your hip flask.

[Il Palazzo]

Clearly, I cannot choose the wine in front of me!

I should've known better than challenge a Sicilian to a battle of wits.

[E. Albright]

In the war council of the High King, tempers flared. The wardens and chiefs of the major tribes bickered and argued, while their liege brooded. His sons sat at his side, equally silent.

Finally, the Ambibate chief stood, slammed his fist down, and brought the bickering to an end. "My brothers, we must face fact. We cannot stand against the burning devils. We must negotiate a peace with them. They cut through our lands like a hot axe, and will be at the gates below in no more than a month. We must make peace. Somehow. I know not what they want, nor why they attacked our people, but we cannot stand against them." He paused, spat, and continued. "Especially with the druids nowhere to be seen." All eyes glanced at the empty seats of the Sequani and Eponi chiefs, and the deserted hearth behind them where the priests normally lurked.

The Warden of Carnutes arose, and gestured to this void. "The cowards have fled. Where is their talk of destiny now? They stood fast until these Abysians invaded our lands, then they vanish like they never were. We must sue for peace. Surely, we are a peaceful people, and can find a common ground with these fiends. They have no grievance against us, they merely want plunder. What is a little tribute from the distant provinces if it keeps the heartland safe?"

As the Marverni chief rose to speak, he halted. Eyes followed his; at the head of the table Conn mac Cumhaill had finally raised his head from his grim contemplations. The hall was silent.

"Loyal brethren, my Warden is right. We have done nothing to provoke these ravagers, yet they invaded our lands anyway. We have only sought to defend ourselves, and yet they march ever deeper into our realm. They will not be satisfied with a little gold. They want our blood, our people enslaved, our wives and daughters for concubines or worse. We did nothing to them, and still they slaughter our people relentlessly. There can be no peace. With the treacherous druids, or without, the Marverni tribes will fight to the last. We are the sons of Torcmór. It is our destiny."

A cry of acclaim arose throughout the hall, but it was a cry of grim resignation. The tribes were united still, and would be unto their deaths.

[Il Palazzo]

"What a splendid victory!" Exclaimed Mary Sue, as she was strolling amongst the mutilated bodies of Ulmish PD. "Obviously, those rednecks fell for my excellent ploy. My husband will be very happy to learn of my exploits when he finally arrives. I just have to make sure not to mention that one of my armies' surprise attack got foiled by a barbarian horde coming out of nowhere, and that the other army got so drunk in Khazad-Dum, that the soldiers forgot to march out."

[E. Albright]

As a heads-up, I'm going to be traveling and thus totally and utterly incommunicado from the 18th through sometime on the 22nd. And my strategic situation is nowhere near bad enough that I'd be conveniently dead before then. So, um, yeah.

[Lorak]

Also, I'm going to need a one day extension this turn for both games.  Tomorrow is going to be dreadfully busy for me, so there's a good chance I won't get around to doing my turns.  >_<

[Il Palazzo]

No problem guys.

[Ignus]

I was feeling left out so I thought I'd join in by getting called away unexpectedly. 16th to the 19th for me.

If I can wrangle a PC on the other end I will jam the game on a pen drive of some sort and drag it with me, otherwise I won't be able to do my turns until the night of the 19th or 20th's morning.

Shame, 'cos things were getting rather interesting in both games.

[Il Palazzo]

Well, then. Let's have a nice time off from playing. Until ~20th.
See you around.

[slMagnvox]

Lanka is a buzzsaw. That is all.

[Il Palazzo]

Oh, thank you. I only lost 2/3rds of my bigger army. But sure, go ahead and try convincing people that I'm the bigger of two evils or somesuch nonsense.

News from Khazad-Dum:
Last words of Paul Westerberg, the Champion of the Arena, as he was dying under 10PD worth of markatas:
"So... cute."

[Ignus]

I am glad that you finally admit to being evil. Now we merely have to determine exactly how evil.

I propose Ulm and Lanka send their entire armed forces, minus the arms, to Pangaea where I will smush them in my grape presses to see how much evil comes out, thus settling the dispute and bringing peace to the land.