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[Lovechild]

What would happen if you combined the two epic tales The Legend of Tholtig Cryptbrain and Half Life: Full Life Consequences? Inspiration struck me and I had to find out...

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Dwarf Fortress: Full Dwarf Consequences

Ducim Cryptbrain who was Tholtig Cryptbrains sister was one day in a forge smithing on an anvil. She got a liaison from her sister that said that elves and monsters were attacking her mountainhomes and aksed her for help so she went.

Ducim Cryptbrain got her job cancelled and wet on the stair to go up to the roof of the fortress where she left her wagon and normal dwarves close because she was in her -pig tail fiber cloak-. Ducim Cryptbrain got on her wago and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full dwarf consequences" so she had to go.

Ducim Cryptbrain ramped off the fortress and did a pathfinding and landed. She kept driving down the road and made sure there was no elves around because she ddint have weapon.

The biomes were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for Ducim Cryptbrains quest to help her sister where she was. Ducim Cryptbrain looked around the biomes and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my sister to defeat the enemys".

Ducim Cryptbrain was late so she had to fast travel. A lair was hiden near by so when Ducim Cryptbrain went by the fortress guard came and wanted to give her a beating. Here Ducim Cryptbrain saw the first monster because the fortress guard was spouse and had nightcreature.

"I cant let you beat me guard” Ducim Cryptbrain said

"Why not?" said the spouse guard back to Ducim Cryptbrain.

"Because you are nightcreature spouse" so Ducim Cryptbrain stabbed the gurd in the head and drove off thinking "my sister is in trouble there" and went faster.

Ducim Cryptbrain had to go faster like [SPEED:0] and got there fast because Tholtig needed her where she was. Ducim Cryptbrain looked at site map and saw "Circletower" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so Ducim Cryptbrain almost turned around but heard screaming like Tholtig so she went faster again.

Ducim Cryptbrain drove in and did another pathfind n jumped off her wagon and the wagon took out some elves infront of Ducim Cryptbrain. Ducim Cryptbrain smiled and walked fast. Ducim Cryptbrain then looked on the ground and found wepon so she pickd it up and slashed fast at elf goasts in front of a forest.

Ducim Cryptbrain said "Elf goasts leave this place" and the elf goasts said "but this is our forest" and Ducim Cryptbrain felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were elf goasts so she burned down the forest and killed the elf goasts so they were at piece.

Then Ducim Cryptbrain herd another scream from her sister so she kept walking really faster to get where she was. Circletowedr was nothing like the biomes there was no birds singing and the socks were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from elfheads.

When Ducim Cryptbrain got to where the screaming was started from she found her sister Tholtag Cryptbrain fightin the elf queen and Tholtig said "Ducim Cryptbrain! Over here!" so Ducim Cryptbrain went there to where Tholtig Cryptbrain was fighting. Ducim Cryptbrain stabbed her sword really fast and the sword went and stabbed the elf queen in the eyes and the elf queen couldnt see.

Tholtig Cryptbrain said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the elf queen in the head shattering the skull and jamming the skull through the brain. Ducim Cryptbrain said "thanks i could help, sis" and Tholtig Cryptbrain said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.

The laughed overed quickly though because Ducim Cryptbrain yelled "LOOK OUT SIS!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Tholtig Cryptbrain looked up and said "NOO! Ducim Cryptbrain run out of here fast as you can!" and Ducim Cryptbrain walked real fast out.

Ducim Cryptbrain loked back and saw Tholtig get steppd on by the bronze colossus and she was mad and angry.

"I'll get you back evil colossus!" Ducim Cryptbrain yelled at the top of lungs.

to be continued..?

[metime00]

Get somebody to make a youtube video of it!

[Labs]

That... that was quite the read. A work of art. Do the second one now.

[Jervous]

*golf clap*

I liked it. Especially the part about the elf goasts.

[Neonivek]

Get somebody to make a youtube video of it!

Ehhh a lot of the jokes of the original Full Life Concequences sort of get exploded by someons writing being changes.

An improvement that make is be that you think more about how the substitutions make noise.

[Lovechild]

Dwarf Fortress: Full Dwarf Consequences 2: What Has Tobe Done

Ducim Cryptbrain walked like speed of superdwarvenly agile back to her wago and abandoned behind the bad place behind her. Ducim Cryptbrain had to ride her wagon really fast back to the fortress but Ducim Cryptbrains horse died. Ducim Cryptbrain jumped fast off the wagon and landed on dead dwarves cats.

"Tholtig Cryptbrain has become a stray cat... i must kill the bronze colossus and live up to full dwarf consequences!" Ducim Cryptbrain said out loud.

Ducim Cryptbrain picked up a ballista and aimed it at trees to see if she could. Ducim Cryptbrain shot and tree fell down in front of her. Ducim Cryptbrain seen vermin fall out of the tree and she put them back home safe.

"These vermin dont have to see Tholtig Cryptbrain yet. its not time." Ducim Cryptbrain said to her.

Ducim Cryptbrain had to walked faster and was back at her fortress and on a fluid logic computer. She looked on the internet and found the bronze colossus.

"I know its weakness now" Ducim Cryptbrain said. And after that she got liaison from someone. Ducim Cryptbrain conducted meeting and listened.

"Dear Ducim Cryptbrain, how are you? I miss you at home come home safe and soon with Tholtig Cryptbrain for party. Love dad." Ducim Cryptbrain listened to it and got miserable and yelled "I WILL KILL THE COLOSSUS AND THOLTIG CRYPTBRAIN WILL BE HAPPY SOUL!" then she turned on off the computer and wet on the stair again down to her other more faster wagon that had horse in it this time.

Ducim Cryptbrain put the ballista on her wagon and her steel battle axe and her adamantine short sword that she found on the wagon. She went through worldmap and went fast like weather turned off to back to Circletower and back to the bad place where Tholtig Cryptbrain was. Ducim Cryptbrain went off road and did pathfinding and modded in back wheels but kept going too.

Ducim Cryptbrain went really fast again like before and was soon back again at Circletower but saw more elf goasts. Ducim Cryptbrain said to them "Elf goasts i have killed your friends at the forest and i dont want to slash your heads. move near the regions and you will be friends of Ducim Cryptbrain." The elf goasts said that "no we will kill you" and walked fast to Ducim Cryptbrains wagon. Ducim Cryptbrain waited until they were in front of her wagon and charged off and surprised with ferocity of onslaught and landed and walked fast to where the bronze colossus was.

"you will be one of us!" yelled the dead elf goasts. Ducim Cryptbrain laughed and stabbed a sword at them.

Ducim Cryptbrain saw the bronze colossus far down the road and walked slow this time. She walked really slow like a turtle that couldnt teleport and lied on the ground and watched the bronze colossus near the dead elf queen and where the place that Tholtig Cryptbrain was. The bronze colossus was laughing at Ducim Cryptbrain so Ducim Cryptbrain said "YOU WILL NOT LAUGH AT ME!" and threw a fluffy wambler at it since that was its weakness.

The bronze colossus died and Ducim Cryptbrain was happy. She walked over to the dead colossus and put it under a cavein and planted socks on it so instead of messy dirt and dark there was pretty things there now to be happy.

Ducim Cryptbrain walked to where Tholtig Cryptbrain was lying dead and crushed from the bronze colossusss feet and looked down. A tear droped out of Ducim Cryptbrains eye and covered Tholtig Cryptbrain with a spattering of Ducim Cryptbrains tear.

"You are dead sis and i killed the evil colossus." Ducim Cryptbrain told Tholtig Cryptbrain

Then Ducim Cryptbrain saw something bad. There was no coffin on Tholtig Cryptbrain! Tholtig Cryptbrain standed up and said "Ducim Cryptbrain... you got here slow and now i am dwarf goast. you will pay..."

to be continued...?

[Lovechild]

Dwarf Fortress: Demigod Beggining

In the age of myth the world was dark and scarry. One day goblins came and noone knew why. Goblins were orc things that werent orcs with ugly faces and sometimes glowing eyes and slaved people in the fortress and made them unhappy and miserable. Urist Cryptbrain who was living in the fortress and with her dad said "dad why are goblins here" and he said "Urist Cryptbrain goblins are from evil and outtside map and hate dwarves."

Urist Cryptbrain realy hated goblins because they beat up every one and Urist Cryptbrain hated it. "dad why are they beating up that boy!" Urist Cryptbrain said to her dad. "Because he is dwarf Urist Cryptbrain, and they are evil Goblins" Urist Cryptbrains dad said back.

"Hey you goblins stop beating him up you evil guys!" Urist Cryptbrain yelled loud at them. "Shut up kid or you will pay!" the goblins said and aimed there swords at Urist Cryptbrains head. "Goblins dont aim your swords!" yelled dad then the Goblins slashed her and laughed "Ha ha stupid dwarf boy with no head" they said with smiles.

Urist Cryptbrain grabed her dads hand and said "dad you were beautiful soul and goblins will pay." "Urist Cryptbrain no get out of here fast as you can..." Urist Cryptbrains dad said and died. Then Urist Cryptbrain grabbed a wepon and stabbed the Goblins in the heart and said "this is not over."

The people around Urist Cryptbrain cheerd and smiled and said "good job Urist Cryptbrain we hate those goblins!" Goblins made people fraid and when Urist Cryptbrain killed them it gave them happy thought.

"Goblins we are not scarred no more!" said Urist Cryptbrain and every one around Urist Cryptbrain said "YEAH!" and grabbed battle axes and rocks. Urist Cryptbrain and the people fast traveled like waves and went towards to the dark goblin dark fortress that was big like the sky.

"Where do you dwarf think you are going?" a big goblin army with lots of trolls said.

"To send you back to evil and outside map!" Urist Cryptbrain yelled with mad "ATTACK THE GOBLINS!" Urist Cryptbrain yelled again.

The war was going and flying things off in bloody arcs when Urist Cryptbrain saw a runesmith on the ground. "Goblins it is time to do what has to be done and live up to my family name" Urist Cryptbrain wispered with head down.

The Goblins were stabbing people and wrestling them with trolls and people were slashing axes back and killing them sometimes. Pools of blood like 10 pages went around Urist Cryptbrain but Urist Cryptbrain didnt care.

"Dwarf kind is losing and I need to help" Urist Cryptbrain said. Then a lasher came and took a guys arm off and legs and head and killed other people too.

Urist Cryptbrain saw the dead going on all around. The goblins were to strong and big but Urist Cryptbrain didnt care neither. Urist Cryptbrain put the runesmith on and started to throw trolls and into obstacles. The cave ins fell and made dust and smoke and stunned goblins so Urist Cryptbrain culd use the runesmith to increase thrower and throw them into the sky realy high and make them squish.

The people were wining but then vile force of darkness went in the map and Goblins came out. "Urist Cryptbrain we have to go out of here!" a guy said to Urist Cryptbrain. "No they are all every where!" another guy said.

"I am Ngospur Uktangulux. Prepair to die!" the law giver said.

Urist Cryptbrain lookd around. Goblins with swords were there. Urist Cryptbrain knew if dwarves lost now it would be miserable for ever.

"FIGHT" Urist Cryptbrain yelled.

People runned toward the goblins to kill them and the goblins were going to stab all the people in a second when a brite light came in teh sky. A force like the Goblins came from opend in the sky and a dwarf came out.

"Goblins leave my daughter alone" Ducim Cryptbrain said.

to be continued...?