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Author Topic: Politics "Explained"  (Read 13521 times)

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #45 on: November 27, 2010, 09:59:40 pm »

Silly, both Eastasia and Eurasia are the anticountries trying to bring down the doubleplusgood Oceania, set up by greatleader Big Brother!

Oh. Then I rescind my backhanded-sounding compliment. Seems unnecessary to have one for each.
I was referencing a scene in 1984 where a speaker for the Party changes the country Oceania is fighting from Eurasia to Eastasia mid-speech, and the crowd just goes with it.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

Askot Bokbondeler

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #46 on: November 27, 2010, 10:01:25 pm »

the other orwellianocracy:you have two cows, the pigs take your farm

fqllve

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #47 on: November 27, 2010, 10:02:39 pm »

I was referencing a scene in 1984 where a speaker for the Party changes the country Oceania is fighting from Eurasia to Eastasia mid-speech, and the crowd just goes with it.

Yeah. I figured it was something I didn't get. I just wanted to say rescind and dickishly take back my dickish compliment.

I haven't read 1984(obviously). I usually try to only read writers I want to emulate.
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You don't use freedom Penguin. First you demand it, then you have it.
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Creamcorn

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #48 on: November 27, 2010, 10:16:32 pm »

COWACRACY: You have two humans. The government tells you when to milk them. This is just gross, you move on to another form of government.
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"OH NO! That carp is gulping at me menacingly, even though it cannot really threaten me from here on land!  I KNOW! I'll dodge into the water, where I'll be safe!"

Korbac

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #49 on: November 27, 2010, 10:19:19 pm »

FARMOCRACY : You have two cows. You are richer than the man with three eggs, but poorer than the man with seven pigs.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #50 on: November 27, 2010, 10:22:58 pm »

COWACRACY: You have two humans. The government tells you when to milk them. This is just gross, you move on to another form of government.
But think of the calves! They'll grow up without strong bones if they don't get human milk!

FARMOCRACY : You have two cows. You are richer than the man with three eggs, but poorer than the man with seven pigs.
MURDOCRACY: You'll show that seven-pig having bastard, and take a third wife once he has his "slaughterhouse accident". Oh no! The man with three eggs saw you! Luckly, he "fell down some stairs" and broke his neck. You are now richest man in country!
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

Toriad

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #51 on: November 27, 2010, 10:26:37 pm »

COWACRACY: You have two humans. The government tells you when to milk them. This is just gross, you move on to another form of government.

hahaha, two male humans?
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Zrk2

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #52 on: November 27, 2010, 10:26:57 pm »

Capitalism: You milk the two cows. You sell the milk. You sell one, get a loan and buy a bull. Then you sell calves and grow your herd.
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He's just keeping up with the Cardassians.

Leafsnail

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #53 on: November 27, 2010, 10:29:40 pm »

Capitalism: You milk the two cows. You sell the milk. You sell one, get a loan and buy a bull. Then you sell calves and grow your herd.
(missing a punchline)
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Korbac

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #54 on: November 27, 2010, 10:31:38 pm »

Oh no! The man with three eggs saw you!

I find this intensely funny for some reason. Perhaps because it sounds like something that may be said to the player in an old text based adventure? XD
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #55 on: November 27, 2010, 10:32:27 pm »

Capitalism: You milk the two cows. You sell the milk. You sell one, get a loan and buy a bull. Then you sell calves and grow your herd.
The Federal Government decides to place high taxes on non-incorporated farms to increase production, and you lose all your money. Game Over.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

Zrk2

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #56 on: November 27, 2010, 10:34:31 pm »

I was referring to how capitalism should work. No punchline needed as I endorse laissiez-faire captialism.
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He's just keeping up with the Cardassians.

AntiAntiMatter

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #57 on: November 27, 2010, 10:37:34 pm »

COMPUTOCRACY-You have two cows. The Overmind tells you what to do with them. When you fail to milk them at the proper time, it terminates you and replaces you with a dairy droid.

DALEKOCRACY-You have two cows. You and your cows are exterminated, and you genetic material is used to make more Daleks.

CYBEROCRACY-You have two cows. The cybermen come, and turn you into a cyberman and your cows into cyberbeasts.

DRACOCRACY-You have two cows. A dragon eats one of them. When you complain, the dragon eats you and gives the other cow to his mate.

MAGOCRACY-You have two cows. The wizards take one of them and turn it into a demon-cow. It escapes and kills you and the other cow with its fire-breath.

BOVINOCRACY-You have two cows. They take over the government and have you executed.

INSANOCRACY-You have negative eleventy two and nine quarters Netches. They bark at you, then go off to terrorize a microscopic alien invasion force.
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[/post]

Argembarger

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #58 on: November 27, 2010, 10:38:17 pm »

Governmentocracy: You have two cows, and some person who has probably never met you or your cows tells you what to do with them.

Optimistocracy: You have two cows, and with hard work and sound financial planning, you may one day rule your own cow empire!

Pessimistocracy: No you won't.

Nihilocracy: You had two cows, but they didn't matter. Nothing matters. Now they're gone, just like you and everything else will be someday.

Hinduocracy: You have two cows. Awesome!

RAAAAAAAAAAGEocracy: You have two cows. They have never given birth and thus cannot produce milk. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

HarvestMoonocracy: You have two cows. They produce glass bottles filled with milk, and brushing their coat and talking to them improves the quality.

tothearkocracy:
seesyou
withcows
01001111 01010000 01000101 01010010 01000001 01010100 01001111 01010010
there are udders
unmilked
« Last Edit: November 27, 2010, 10:40:26 pm by Argembarger »
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Quote from: miauw62
This guy needs to write a biography about Columbus. I would totally buy it.
I can see it now.

trying to make a different's: the life of Columbus

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Politics "Explained"
« Reply #59 on: November 27, 2010, 10:40:58 pm »

Entrocracy: There are no cows. Not anymore. There aren't any humans anymore either. All matter and energy has seeped out of our imperfect universe and now there is nothing. Even time has decayed away.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.
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