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[Kaiser Reinhard]

Sunday's my least favourite day of the week to leave the house, usually because of the workload due the next day. I wonder if she'd be up for a stroll around the city on Saturday evening...

Also, this is probably just me following blind hope, but her admitting to knowing how I felt for a long time gives a lot of the stuff she did new, favourable context.

[GlyphGryph]

Cool. Yeah, if Saturday is possible and you'd prefer it, try to swing it. But if you can't why don't you do all the work Saturday night/earlier than sunday instead? durr

[Thief^]

I tried confessing to a friend once, and she turned me down. We stayed friends though (yes, that is possible, wish I could have told you that last week or before, it would have helped), for a few years of irregular contact (I moved away for work).
Then, nearly a year ago now, she visited me. We ended up snuggled together on my sofa watching a film. At some point, towards the end of the day, we kissed.
She was worried she'd screwed up our friendship at first. I was terrified, I hadn't been in a real relationship before. We're still together, nearly a year later.

Don't do "date" things. Don't go see films etc just because that's the kind of thing you think people do for a date. Just do things you each like, but together.

We often just go for a walk together. Went for a wander before dinner last night and ended up in the next town (whoops), found an old iron foundry chimney and learnt a little about local history. It was great

[Grakelin]

Christ, Kaiser, this is taking so long, I'm seriously starting to wonder if she's better off without you.



"I need you to just explain more about what you think of me, if you would."

[Thief^]

Christ, Kaiser, this is taking so long, I'm seriously starting to wonder if she's better off without you.

Did you miss the bit where he did it?

[Kaiser Reinhard]

Don't do "date" things. Don't go see films etc just because that's the kind of thing you think people do for a date. Just do things you each like, but together.

We often just go for a walk together. Went for a wander before dinner last night and ended up in the next town (whoops), found an old iron foundry chimney and learnt a little about local history. It was great

Yeah, I know. That sort of thing, adventuring together, would be my ideal date. Where's the fun in just going to watch a movie together if you're not going to interact much throughout?

[GlyphGryph]

Don't do "date" things. Don't go see films etc just because that's the kind of thing you think people do for a date. Just do things you each like, but together.

We often just go for a walk together. Went for a wander before dinner last night and ended up in the next town (whoops), found an old iron foundry chimney and learnt a little about local history. It was great

Arguably, "date things" should always be this sort of thing, they just usually default to dinner and a movie because those are things you can be fairly sure most people would like and won't make them to nervous. Once you know something better to do because you've spent time learning each others interests, you should always choose to do that instead. If you start as friends, you've already got that bit done so you should always skip on to the better date ideas. Doing stuff you've wanted to do but have been putting off is good! So bookstore sounds fun. Also just chillaxing is good too. I, for example, enjoy taking long walks on stretches of long abandoned highway strewn with interesting bits of rubbly and raised high above the roofs of nearby buildings, taking photographs and telling jokes before building a small fire and pretending you are all in some sort of post-apocolyptic wastelend. When I find someone who is also into that, it is the PERFECT DATE. On the same token, it also happens to be exactly the sort of thing I'd do with a group of friends, just with a slightly different approach. And now I've totally forgot where I was going with this but man that was a pretty great night. My most successful "first date" with a friend involved a caving trip, lots of being close together, some enjoyable views (), some physical exertion and a tiny bit of shared fear and reliance = pretty perfect date.

[DJ]

Date is just hanging out, but with more touching. And by that I mean you should hold her hand and stuff like that, not jump her like there's no tomorrow.

[Kaiser Reinhard]

Aww, she's not free because like me she's been procrastinating her own stuff and school starts Monday for her.

Still, she seemed more.. accommodating over our IM chats than usual. Maybe she's settled on something favourable... I should probably stop taking everything I can as a sign that she does feel something for me. Then again, I shouldn't let my distrust of myself taking everything as a sign make me ignore actual ones. Oh, and it just occurred to me that she was less questioning of why I suddenly wanted to go out with her because I already confirmed her suspicions of me liking her. so yeah.

[Kaiser Reinhard]

So, I was talking to her again, and, well, she finally decided to tell me how she felt.

Nothing. She feels nothing towards me. She's okay with me having a crush on her, and still  regards me as a good friend, but she can't reciprocate.

How dare she throw away my love like that? I can't believe she's turned out to be a shallow whore like every other girl! Why doesn't she appreciate me? I bet she's going for one of the asshole guys everyone wants. Bitch.

...I'm really glad I didn't mean that last paragraph. Honestly, I'm grateful to her for putting up with me for so long, and being so understanding. I'm just happy I still have my friend, and that I don't have to worry about how she feels anymore.
 
Still, I can't help but feel that I've lost a very special fish.

[Tellemurius]

So, I was talking to her again, and, well, she finally decided to tell me how she felt.

Nothing. She feels nothing towards me. She's okay with me having a crush on her, and still  regards me as a good friend, but she can't reciprocate.

How dare she throw away my love like that? I can't believe she's turned out to be a shallow whore like every other girl! Why doesn't she appreciate me? I bet she's going for one of the asshole guys everyone wants. Bitch.

...I'm really glad I didn't mean that last paragraph. Honestly, I'm grateful to her for putting up with me for so long, and being so understanding. I'm just happy I still have my friend, and that I don't have to worry about how she feels anymore.
 
Still, I can't help but feel that I've lost a very special fish.

sorry bro, thats a deep cut, at least now you can stop chasing her now i guess.

[Kaiser Reinhard]

Yeah, at the very least.

Still, it's quite upsetting when suddenly you don't have much to hope for anymore.

[GlyphGryph]

Though honestly, I feel like waiting as long as you did was a potential factor in this. Obviously she knew (you can't hide stuff like this), and knowing someone is silently pining over you might be cute, but its not really romantic.

Treat it as a lesson - next time you have something you want, don't wait the potential of success to slim to zero before going for it.

I mean, she might have turned you down anyways of course. She might not just be into you in that way! God knows I've had plenty of friends turn me down. Though it may seem like a big deal to you now, focus on the things that DID happen instead of the things that didn't.

You got to keep her as a friend - Win
You finally managed to get over your crippling anxiety - Win
You've now got some nice experience for next time - Win
You've made an extremely long thread on the forum - Win?

But seriously, "don't have much to hope for"? Heck, now you know what you're looking for and you know you have the ability to try and get it - get out there and find it!

Honestly, relationships with less well known people are more fun anyways, since one of the best parts of an early relationship is the sharing of intimate secrets and experiences and stuff. It sounds like you don't have a lot of experience with that anyways, so maybe this is actually an opportunity? You've gotten your stubborn infatuation out of the way, hopefully it will wither and you can spend your time focusing on getting into a relationship that makes you happy,

[Kaiser Reinhard]

Aha, I suppose.

Still, I'm not actually looking for a relationship in general. I wanted one with her because I had already come to like her for many of her traits. She's.. unique, in many ways, and I doubt and can stop comparing other girls to her too soon.

I'll just have to wait for a girl to catch my attention again, maybe.

[Pwnzerfaust]

Dude, you shouldn't have waited six freaking months. I bet you anything she would've been up for it if you'd said something back in November. Six months ago. When you made this thread. And said you'd tell her within the month.