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Author Topic: Exorcism For Dummies  (Read 6618 times)

Kagus

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Exorcism For Dummies
« on: November 13, 2010, 05:13:24 pm »

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40151974/ns/us_news/?gt1=43001

So, apparently, the Catholic church is getting seven kinds of pissed off with all this demonic possession we've been having lately, and they've decided that they're just not going to take it anymore.  It's time to roll out the really big guns and start whupping some unholy butt with a new army of blessed warriors trained to venture into the most horrifying depths of Hell to fight with the devil himself!  It's like DooM, just without all the guns and stuff.

That, or it's just some old dude with fashion issues spritzing you with water and blowing air in your face.


Yeah, it's probably not a good idea to bring this up (considering how long anything related to religion manages to go without getting a good dose of spontaneous combustion), but it's a news article and it really made my day.  Cheers.

Muz

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2010, 05:17:55 pm »

Quote
Signs of demonic possession accepted by the church include violent reaction to holy water or anything holy, speaking in a language the possessed person doesn't know and abnormal displays of strength.

I'm tempted to go around spraying people with holy water to see if they're possessed now.
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Enzo

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2010, 05:20:44 pm »

Quote
Signs of demonic possession accepted by the church include violent reaction to holy water or anything holy, speaking in a language the possessed person doesn't know and abnormal displays of strength.

I'm tempted to go around spraying people with holy water to see if they're possessed now.

It's risky, man. They might rip you in half with their devil-strength.
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smjjames

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2010, 05:22:20 pm »

Heres the one from CNN: http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/12/catholic-clergy-confer-on-exorcism-rite/?hpt=T2


IMO, the excorscism stuff is complete BS. Sure it makes for good movies (sometimes), but I just don't buy it.

Edit: Oh yea, if anybody REALLY needs excorcism, it's congress.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2010, 05:28:37 pm by smjjames »
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2010, 05:28:54 pm »

Quote
"For the longest time, we in the United States may not have been as much attuned to some of the spiritual aspects of evil because we have become so much attached to what would be either physical or psychological explanation for certain phenomena," DiNardo said. "We may have forgotten that there is a spiritual dimension to people."
Yep, I can already tell that I hate this guy. I swear, if there is even a hint of abuse going on with this new excorscism movement I hope the government will see fit to launch an investigation. It also worries me how many excorscism targets are supposedly children, who have no choice in the manner.

Well, with any luck this won't end badly for anyone, but I don't have much hope of that.
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smjjames

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2010, 05:31:17 pm »

I have an idea, maybe they should see if excorcism works on some of the evilist people in society, who would be in the prisions.
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Aqizzar

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2010, 05:43:14 pm »

The Malleus Maleficarum it is not, but it fills me with great joy to see the Catholic Church getting inclusive about sacred rights.  A DIY Exorcism handbook and training center, fantastic.

I should get one, just in case.
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Luke_Prowler

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2010, 05:52:11 pm »

I'll put it next to my copy of the Uplifting Primer. I'm sure it'll be just as useful.
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Nikov

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #8 on: November 13, 2010, 05:55:43 pm »

Before that stupid book came out witchcraft was punishable by a day in the stocks. Afterwards it was burning at the stake. Its also telling it was written by a disgraced Inquisitor, considered a senile old man. However the internet, I mean, printing press, gave the crackpot theory credibility with the masses.

Quote
The preface also includes an approbation from the University of Cologne’s Faculty of Theology. The authenticity of the Cologne endorsement was first questioned by Joseph Hansen but Christopher S. Mackay rejects his theory as a misunderstanding.[12]The university in fact condemned the book for unethical legal practices and contradicting Catholic teaching on demons. Scholarly opinion is divided on whether the Cologne endorsement was a complete forgery, but there is general agreement that even if it were genuine it was misrepresented by Kramer, and that neither the Pope nor the University of Cologne was aware of the true authorship of the book, or even of its contents.[13][14][15][16] The Malleus Maleficarum drew on earlier sources such as the Johannes Nider's treatise Formicarius, written 1435/37. -- Wiki

The Wiki article has changed since I last saw it, and I'm not sure if its vandalism or correction of overstatement. It used to discuss papal condemnation of the book at length.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2010, 06:40:59 pm »

Quote
Signs of demonic possession accepted by the church include violent reaction to holy water or anything holy, speaking in a language the possessed person doesn't know and abnormal displays of strength.
Holy crap! I'm possessed!

I speak garbled Spanish and Japanese that I don't know the meaning of all the time! Sometimes I run faster than I can! Someone call the Pope Squad!
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2010, 06:45:20 pm »

Quote
Signs of demonic possession accepted by the church include violent reaction to holy water or anything holy, speaking in a language the possessed person doesn't know and abnormal displays of strength.
Holy crap! I'm possessed!

I speak garbled Spanish and Japanese that I don't know the meaning of all the time! Sometimes I run faster than I can! Someone call the Pope Squad!
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
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Eugenitor

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2010, 06:50:15 pm »

That'd look more intimidating if he brought a helmet instead of a dress.

I thought the Ghostbusters made low-tech exorcism unnecessary?
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Pnx

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2010, 07:18:51 pm »

I thought the Ghostbusters made low-tech exorcism unnecessary?
You know their prices are utterly cutthroat, I ain't afraid of no budget cuts but honestly you're better off doing your exorcisms the old fashioned way than shelling out for ridiculously high priced "cleaner and greener" alternatives.
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alway

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #13 on: November 13, 2010, 07:42:28 pm »

Quote
No one knows why more people seem to be seeking the rite. Paprocki said one reason could be the growing interest among Americans in exploring general spirituality, as opposed to participating in organized religion, which has led more people to dabble in the occult.
/facepalm
Quote
In 1999, the church updated the Rite of Exorcism, cautioning that "all must be done to avoid the perception that exorcism is magic or superstition."
Instead, they wish for it to be seen for what it really is; an expressive art form!
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Askot Bokbondeler

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Re: Exorcism For Dummies
« Reply #14 on: November 13, 2010, 07:50:10 pm »

does it work on zombies?
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