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[Kagus]

I'm posting this here because, despites some of the themes presented, this currently makes the most sense to me.


My grandmother passed during the night. We knew she was on her way out as she'd taken a nasty fall recently, fracturing her femur, and she was in no state to survive an operation or otherwise recover. My parents, having *just* made it back to America in time, managed to quickly turn around and get up there to see her the past couple days.

And... For that, I'm quite happy. I can't imagine what not being there would've done to my mom, to not be able to see her mom out of this life (and to see that she, topped up with morphine, was very much at peace when she did leave).

But for me... I don't know. It feels like it doesn't really mean anything.


My grandmother, some 15 years ago, decided to cut out and effectively excommunicate our side of the family. At the behest of my one aunt (who has ticked every point on the Hare psychopathy checklist), she pushed away her two other daughters and all their associated family members. Refusing to believe anyone except for that one daughter (and her son, who was perfectly willing to toe the line and not fight the outrageous statements coming out of the bitch) and shunning anyone and everyone else.

There was a very brief moment in time where she tried reaching out to contact me specifically (apparently thinking my parents to be the cruel and deceitful individuals my aunt had painted them as and worried that they would interfere with any communications should she not work out how to send an email directly to me), and... I'm not really even sure. Try to stay in touch and keep things pleasant while declaring my parents and anyone associated with them to be morally reprehensible? Myself included?

And that was it. Beyond that, I haven't seen or talked with her in about 15 years. She made her choices and she stuck with them.


...or at least, she intended to. In her later days, her mind deteriorated to the point where she didn't remember any of that ever happening, and went back to singing praises of my father and me. Which must've been quite the interesting experience for my uncle, who had been her primary caregiver for ages at that point. Apparently she didn't have nearly as much positive to say about him.


And I just... I feel like I should probably feel something more. I mean, my grandmother died. And before the great split, I did have some good experiences with her. But I guess I'm not as good at forgiving just because she forgot.

I do feel for my mother though, and I hope that she gets to process this whole thing in a positive way. I'm also worried about her not acknowledging what weight this situation holds for her, which is of course a hilariously ironic statement coming immediately after my whole "I totally don't feel anything, brah", but... yeah.

Weird message to wake up to, in any case.

[EuchreJack]

Well, the best thing to do is latch onto the good memories and let the bad ones disappear into the ether.

Grandma was nice, then she went crazy (no reason to dwell on why), and now she has passed on.

Spoiler: On the essence of Why (click to show/hide)

"Why?" is the most useless question in the whole world.  We'll never get a good answer, if we ever get one at all.  Read the posts further above, and people can't even figure out whether math is honest.  Ignore the "why" as much as you can.  Time spend asking "why" is time spent unhappy.  Focus on what you need to be happy, and ignore the rest.

Guide to happiness: Sheng-Ji Yang : What do I care for your suffering? Pain, even agony, is no more than information before the senses, data fed to the computer of the mind. The lesson is simple: you have received the information, now act on it. Take control of the input and you shall become master of the output.

My Grandma went crazy too, although she had no help in that department (brain problems over time). But I was her favorite, and that is the important thing.

[LordBaal]

I remember a tv show were a kid systematically broke every teacher assigned to his class by simply asking why repeatedly to every explanation or consecutive answer they gave.

[MrRoboto75]

I remember a tv show were a kid systematically broke every teacher assigned to his class by simply asking why repeatedly to every explanation or consecutive answer they gave.

why

[Laterigrade]

I remember a tv show were a kid systematically broke every teacher assigned to his class by simply asking why repeatedly to every explanation or consecutive answer they gave.

why

well, son, it all started back in the war of ‘85

[JoshuaFH]

I remember a tv show were a kid systematically broke every teacher assigned to his class by simply asking why repeatedly to every explanation or consecutive answer they gave.

why

well, son, it all started back in the war of ‘85

Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish Prison?

[Naturegirl1999]

I remember a tv show were a kid systematically broke every teacher assigned to his class by simply asking why repeatedly to every explanation or consecutive answer they gave.

why

Because !!SCIENcE!! Also, I wanna watch whatever show that was. Do you remember if it was a live action show or animated? Or what channel it was on?

[Rolan7]

"Classical" warfare was so strange or maybe prescient in how much tactical engineering occurred.  We all know about WW1 and 2, the trench combat, but Historia Civilis is full of amazing examples of troop movements being foiled in real time by legionaires throwing up walls/palisades/ditches.

Like what is this, Populous or Populous the Beginning?
I guess people fortified a lot in the American Civil War too, and I just can't comprehend how quickly they apparently were able to do that.  I've done some bicycle trail maintenance but maybe I could have worked faster with mortal peril and training.

Anyway, I was particularly amazed when Lions Led By Donkeys explained that Spartacus's rebellion The Rebellion Including Spartacus wandered into a peninsula by accident, and the pursuing Romans immediately set to digging a ditch across the peninsula.
"Tens of miles across"
(Warning: NSFW mentions of Jupiter's Cock as a curse)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The rebels throw burning stuff into the ditch-diggers for a while, then... left.  Because it was tens of miles across, and there weren't nearly enough people to patrol.  I guess the plan was as stupid as it sounded - THIS time.

[Egan_BW]

Shit, this means fortnite is a realistic depiction of what modern combat would be like if soldiers would stop being cowards and just punch trees

[LordBaal]

I did not remembered which show was, but a quick google search and presto, it was Pete and Pete, the episode in question is called "X=Why?”, season 2, episode 8; originally aired Oct. 23, 1994.

It seems like it was in another life... life around this place was really different back then.

[EuchreJack]

I guess people fortified a lot in the American Civil War too, and I just can't comprehend how quickly they apparently were able to do that.  I've done some bicycle trail maintenance but maybe I could have worked faster with mortal peril and training.

At least two American Civil War battles were decided largely on the location of a pre-existing wall or fence.

[MrRoboto75]

And one not-quite-existing railroad.

[Lord Shonus]

There's reliable accounts of wwi/wwii soldiers hearing incoming artillery and having a shallow-but-adequate foxhole dug before the shell hit. Incoming fire seems to increase productivity immensely.


In semi-realted news, a War Thunder player was unhappy with the Challenger 2 tank in-game. So he went to the forums to complain about it, using classified British Army documents to show where the game got it wrong.

The Ministry Of Defense is not pleased, and neither are the game devs.

[TamerVirus]

classified British Army documents

Aren't the devs behind War Thunder from Russia?

The best way to fix game balance is to threaten national security, sounds reasonable

[Vector]

I guess people fortified a lot in the American Civil War too, and I just can't comprehend how quickly they apparently were able to do that.  I've done some bicycle trail maintenance but maybe I could have worked faster with mortal peril and training.

At least two American Civil War battles were decided largely on the location of a pre-existing wall or fence.

Also, the Army Corps of Engineers is literally there to help with this kind of thing.