"wax seals!"
customer gazes at epic choices of wax seals!
"what's the difference between them all!?"
"AHAHAHA THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE REALLY THEY ALL WORK THE SAME AHAHAHA but this one is thicker and this one has a reinforced gasket in it."
customer pauses.
"uh... we also have a wax free option" *gestures toward wax free seals*
"why is this one more expensive?"
"... it's thicker"
"and this one?"
"... reinforced gasket?"
*customer picks up reinforced gasket wax seal*
"I need the bolts too"
*SUPER AMAZING SALES PERSON WHO ISN'T A GODDAMN SALES PERSON points to the one next to it*
"this has bolts"
"why is it more expensive?"
"... it has bolts"
*customer opens package, examines bolts*
"these bolts won't work"
*customer replaces bolts in box, puts box on shelf, takes wax seal with no bolts, then takes bolts which are identical to the ones in the box off the shelf. Combined cost is more than the wax seal with bolts*
"this'll do"
*customer finally lea-*
"oh I need a hose for my toilet too"
"they are right next to the wax seals. how long do you need the hose"
"I measured mine at 12 inches"
"get the next size up, thus if you made an error in your measurements you don't have to come back"
"oh okay"
*mills around for a bit*
"I don't actually need the hose, I just need the washer in the end"
*kill me please*
"washers are over here"
*SUPER AMAZING TREMENDOUSLY ANNOYED EMPLOYEE KNOWS NOTHING OF WASHERS*
*LOOKS AT WASHERS FOR SAME SIZE AS HOSE END*
*FAILS*
*PRETTY ASSISTANT MANAGER WALKS BY*
"(((HELP ME WITH THIS MADMAN))) do we have a washer like this?"
"no, I don't think so"
"((SUCK IT!)) sorry sir."