Oh, bloody hell, the buggering Christmas goat burned down again... It's not even December yet, for goodness' sake.
(Context:))
Slap them in irons! One gantelope and five years penal labour, I say! That should teach them to play with fire. Indeed, that could be the new tradition, the Flogging of the Arsonist, if the goat is no longer available.
From what I heard, it didn't survive even 12 hours after its party. According to Wikipedia, the '99 goat was burned "within hours", so this might or might not be a new record. I'd suggest the vandals be punished by having to pay for the next year's goat. Saves a cool 100 000 kronor from public fund and hurts enough to discourage the 'tradition'.
Yes, but I believe that my more severe early goat burner flogging scheme would be far more fun, as well as a suitable blood price for the prematurely lost goat. It is the winter soltice, after all, one would not wish to offend it. And the gantelope could be a tradition in itself, getting people to join in and get together, all jolly and merry.
In fact, I am redrafting my scheme. The penal labour can be removed, and a fine imposed instead. However, the delinquent must take part in the Flogging, a gantelope down the main square, with townsfolk and guests lining up to beat them. Of course, the beating implements should be the soft or inflatable kind. It is more about shame than injury, after all, and this is a (relatively) more enlightened time.
Nearby stalls could sell warm drinks, souvenires, and people could opt to buy out their bats for a small fee, as a keepsake. I believe that it could be a frightfully cosy little event, all together.
Of course, small children or the elderly or other people who can't quite take part in the gantelope should get a chance, as well. The delinquent will be taken to the wreckage of the goat, where, for a small fee, people can stand and pelt them with (soft) vegetables.
If you imagine it was the Swedish Chef, it starts to make sense.
That man is either a fraud or has a rather severe case of palsy. Believe you me, it is equally incomprehensible in Swedish, that mumbling. Poor man. Although it was rather kind of him to send around home-made sweets in Finland for Christmas. I would also advice not to eat them, however. His cooking is more about... Enthusiasm, than skill.
Of course, it could be a child wanting to be nice and kind for Christmas, out in good time to improve their standing towards Santa Claus, perhaps. It is a rather cute gesture, if that is the case.
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Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O (Read 14945993 times)