I ... just got invited out to a bar, as "sort of a date if you wanna have it be that" by a court clerk....
While I have a fondness for the drink (that I'm trying to cut down on) and an aversion to drinking water (fish shit in it), she ... clearly has.... I ... er.... Th....
She understandably mistook a facade of confidence I live for flirting? I flabbergastedly turned her down with ... flabbergastedness? while attempting politeness rather than ... shock. Though, to be fair, came right outta left field and I am not even one for baseball (that metaphor sorta got away from me, so sue me).
I'm really hoping this doesn't turn awkward and things are normal, but .... That's like hoping Tommy's 1980 something Econoline Cargo Van is gonna start up the first time you turn the key. Sure, the engine might eventually turn over on the 3rd or 4th try, but no chance in hell for the first time with the key in the ignition.
Balls, I've gotta work with this woman on a semi regular basis.... She isn't necessarily a bad person, by any stretch of the imagination. Problem is, she just ... can. not. keep a secret. If we both had to take a drink for every secret we kept, she'd be stone sober and I'd be drunk, then dead and finally out of booze for the first time in years. Otherwise I might actually come clean to her about only liking guys, but ... ehhhhhhhhhh nope nope nope nopes. Noooooooohohoooooo no, o no no no no no no. Anything she knows is public record....
I think I said something along the lines of "I'm sorry but I can never be with somebody I work with...." and several other things while trying to be nice.
Yup... I'm gonna have to file things earlier to factor in for the inevitably longer processing times that will be coming with everything I do there for a while....
I ... just ... the ... what? When the flying crap did I get popular, at all?!? In school, if somebody put a gun to my head and said "get a date or I'll god damn kill you," then they'd have to shoot my dumb ass, cause that wasn't happening. Now this?