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[Starkos127]

Today I was at work, and I realized that for the longest time now, I've always thought it was somehow innapropriate to express interest in the opposite sex. The things I learn when not in college, whoa.

[Renault]

At first I groaned inwardly when I saw this thread was still open. Then I saw this.

There is no such thing as a friend zone. That's just something guys made up to explain why their female friends aren't attracted to them.

Go for it.

Grakelin, if I had some kind of internet-money, I'd be showering it on you right now. Thank you for that; that stupid friend-zone thing is the most annoying thing guys say (and really seem to believe) on the internet.

[DJ]

OK, for the sake of science, go through the list of your guy friends in your head and count how many you'd sleep with based on sexiness alone (ie ignore issues such as him or you being in another relationship, or personality flaws which would make him bad LTR material). I'm expecting the answer to be zero. IIRC there was a documentary on NatGeo or some-such where they explained how friends get interpreted as family (a remnant from the cave times) and there's natural aversion to incest. The friend zone thing happens with guys as well, but to a far lesser extent since we're far more promiscuous.

[Aqizzar]

It's also plenty older than Internet dating advice threads, if Chris Rock's early 90s stand-up routines are any indication.  Or, y'know, if you've listened to women talk about guys they know.

[Renault]

Chris Rock: Relationship Expert Extraordinaire! I admit, I can't argue with him, if he says it its true.

That admission in hand, I think a lot of people are missing the point on this one. It's not an issue of "friend zones" so much as an issue of "attractive zones." Women, presumably like men, will befriend someone they find unattractive if they like their personality. I don't think that should come as shocking. Women also will befriend people they find attractive, I promise you. There's certainly a subtle sexual dynamic to it, sure, but that doesn't make them any less friends. The idea that women decide if someone is "friend" material or "whatever you call the one they want to bone" material when they first meet them is actually pretty degrading. I assure you, its possible to be in both.

[smigenboger]

Story

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I went to a party on Halloween which ended up having one girl, who was set up by my friend to date the host. I've known her for about three years, and am not attracted to her, but as the drinking went on that night, I started noticing how all the other guys were reacting to her. The later on in the night, the more the guys were getting beer goggles, with each one acting differently. The guy that got too drunk (because he took a Xanex without telling anyone, oblivious to how that amplifies your drinking) was begging her and the host to have a threesome with him. (He's fat, unshaven, with few 'redeeming qualities').

Most of us there were single, and everyone but me played WoW. Some of the people that came later didn't know the host was dating the chick, and tried different tactics to win her over.

What I thought was so funny about all of this is this girl isn't really that attractive, and the later it got, the more 'redeeming qualities' she had went away from her talking about her home life, having seven boyfriends in two years, etc, and these guys just shrugged it off. I'm amazed at how far guys will stoop down just to have someone, and how they'll search for people who aren't even interested or taken.

She told me she was attracted to me, and liked me a couple years ago (hadn't seen her in two years), but never said anything about it because I hung out with other girls who were more interesting at the time.

I learned some do's and don'ts from watching those people try to flirt with her. It seems like when guys get desperate, they hit on people without really knowing them, or even a simple background check, to make sure they aren't wasting their time. If that girl had a more interesting personality, or wasn't bogged down with personal issues, she'd appear more attractive. This also goes for guys too, if you look good, then talk about how your parents abuse you, it doesn't come off well at all. Both back then and now, my working out adds to attractiveness, and staying mellow or happy, dealing with your problems, and not talking about them as general conversation will greatly boost your outward attractiveness.

[inteuniso]

First off: What have I created here?
Second off: I'm starting to realize how attractive some girls can be simply because they're easy to talk to. This girl I'm talking to now has to be one of the prettiest (she has these light brown eyes and a bright smile), nicest, coolest girls I've met. Did I mention she loves ice hockey?

[sonerohi]

Lucky dude then.

So, I guess this would be the place for it. I've gotten good at the whole at-a-party-lets-hookup-for-a-week thing, and I have a semi-decent track record at starting relationships with strangers. My problem is I'm already friends with the person I'd like to pursue. I'm killing myself with the task of expressing interest without pressuring her. Halp?

[Ø]

Grakelin, if I had some kind of internet-money, I'd be showering it on you right now. Thank you for that; that stupid friend-zone thing is the most annoying thing guys say (and really seem to believe) on the internet.

Are you kidding me? I've fallen into the "friend" zone repeatedly. It take a loooong time, but once they hit "best friend" status without any romantic interests displayed from either of you, if you take long enough you'll know them too well. You know that best friend you love hanging with, but if you had to live with him you'd want to strangle them? It's where you skip the whole romance and breakup and go right to the "we're not really life-partner compatible". Saves a lot of effort though.

[Omegastick]

Lucky dude then.

So, I guess this would be the place for it. I've gotten good at the whole at-a-party-lets-hookup-for-a-week thing, and I have a semi-decent track record at starting relationships with strangers. My problem is I'm already friends with the person I'd like to pursue. I'm killing myself with the task of expressing interest without pressuring her. Halp?

Openly flirt with her, don't drop hints and don't ask her out, you just need to be very flirty and that should urge her to consider you more as a romantic interest. It's gotten me out of the friend zone a few times anyway.

[Bauglir]

-snip-

[sonerohi]

Shit, I was hoping for some sort of cheatcode that boosted my Suave stat. But, 2 recommendations for honesty is enough for me.

[ChairmanPoo]

Shit, I was hoping for some sort of cheatcode that boosted my Suave stat. But, 2 recommendations for honesty is enough for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVcyNANK5cY

[Bauglir]

-snip-

[ChairmanPoo]

Pictured Above: The Worst Advice In The World (I'm going to be proven wrong in about 30 seconds, I know)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15S0g8pG6HU&NR=1