Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Vector]

TLDR: so i pose a question to you B12: if approaching a female for platonic relationshippin' how do you go about it especially if said female is completely a loner with no friends and also kind of scary and never really happy-looking or otherwise approachable?? i specify platonic because i definitely don't want my advances to come off as being romantically interested.

Sit next to her once or twice, with sitting by other people in-between instances.  Don't say anything in particular.  Definitely don't leave notes.

Then sit by her and say hi at the beginning of class.

Then you can move into small-talk...

It's not that hard.  In reality, it's just like trying to approach a squirrel.  You might want to practice a little out in the wild before you do it for real.

[inaluct]

I'm gonna echo the sentiments expressed by others with regard to the whole poetry thing being creepy. The facebook stalking, short story writing, sitting alone and watching her thing is just weird, dude. Stop doing that. Go play some basketball or something.

That said, just go start talking to her. Just waddle yourself up and start babbling, maybe look into GANTZ and Battle Royale, you might like them. Google tells me that they are some sort of violent weeaboo entertainment. You could always talk about those with her, I guess.

I really can't fathom why you would want this girl to be your platonic friend, and I don't think you would be writing stories about her if your desire for friendship was anything less than infatuation. I mean, is it just me, or do most people not see someone and think "Damn, I want THAT DUDE RIGHT THERE to be my friend," and instead just sort of talk to random people and become friends?

I think you should just come to grips about how you feel and start flirting with her. Denial isn't just a river, man!111!!!!

But on an actually serious note, you're being creepy, man. Really creepy. Don't do this.

[Cthulhu]

I am also aboard the S.S. If This is What You Do When You Don't Know Her I Don't Want to See What You Do When You're Friends.

[ChairmanPoo]

I am assuming that by "platonic friend" you mean "friends but you're actually infatuated with her". Which makes me wonder: why would you want to do that delliberatedly? because if you fall for one of your friends (and she doesn't reciprocate), well, such is life in Soviet Russia. But actively seeking it? I don't get it.

[Grakelin]

a few days ago i saw her staring out the window (she was seated beside it, alone) and looking outside, which i romanticized in a poem which i thought was pretty avant-garde if i do say so myself due to some clever formatting and typographical choices

Stopped reading at this point because the level of stupid was too much. You've hit critical mass, with this one, dude.

Are you seriously here in this thread asking us "HALP, I want to make a friend, how I do it"?

[ChairmanPoo]

Indeed, life advice has hit a new low

[WhiskerMeister]

Posting for poetry appreciation.

you guys are killing me. it's in my binder which i leave it at school. i'll take a picture or scan it in tomorrow. it's pretty good though, just let me warn you.

Sit next to her once or twice, with sitting by other people in-between instances.  Don't say anything in particular.  Definitely don't leave notes.

Then sit by her and say hi at the beginning of class.

Then you can move into small-talk...

It's not that hard.  In reality, it's just like trying to approach a squirrel.  You might want to practice a little out in the wild before you do it for real.

i'm kind of terrible at smalltalk, hence why i sort of lack friends for the most part. i like to make people think i think i'm high and mighty so that the jerks stay away, for the most part, because if there's one thing jerks hate it's other jerks. but that tends to drive away people who might genuinely be worth my time, which is kind of an issue i guess.

also, i'm willing to admit i might be interested in her more than platonically, but i'd rather not get into that until i deal with some other loose ends which could take a while, so it'd be better if i got to know her first anyway.

Are you seriously here in this thread asking us "HALP, I want to make a friend, how I do it"?

well, yeah. that's what i was getting at. it's more like, "help i want to make a friend but no matter how i approach her it will be an awkward experience for us both"

But on an actually serious note, you're being creepy, man. Really creepy. Don't do this.

well, yeah. i'd like to stop that, but i needed to check to see if she was actually a decent person and not going to murder me in my sleep. someone who isolates themselves from everyone else (like me!) is generally hard to approach, so i did some background checks. sometimes there's a good reason no one's friends with them.

i'm thinking i should destroy the stories (since they have her name in them) but the poem is hopefully detached enough to survive. i can't let it go to waste.

anyway, i'll sit next to her tomorrow and try to say something. hopefully our first exchanged words will not be discourteous. if the subject drifts to my interests, then apparently i need to be able to talk about 'manga'. can someone give me a crash-course on what a 15 year old highschool girl will probably know about manga and what questions she will ask? gantz and battle royale are my only leads here. summaries show that they're pretty gnarly, but um, i think saying "i really like violent manga what about you!" sets off a red flag somewhere. maybe if i ask her interests first then just agree and wish really hard, it'll all turn out okay and i'll have done enough research to be able to say things that don't sound woefully generic. assuming the conversation even gets that far.

[Vector]

anyway, i'll sit next to her tomorrow and try to say something. hopefully our first exchanged words will not be discourteous. if the subject drifts to my interests, then apparently i need to be able to talk about 'manga'. can someone give me a crash-course on what a 15 year old highschool girl will probably know about manga and what questions she will ask? gantz and battle royale are my only leads here. summaries show that they're pretty gnarly, but um, i think saying "i really like violent manga what about you!" sets off a red flag somewhere. maybe if i ask her interests first then just agree and wish really hard, it'll all turn out okay and i'll have done enough research to be able to say things that don't sound woefully generic. assuming the conversation even gets that far.

... Step one: stop lying.

Step two: ask why she likes what she likes, ask what it's about, and so on.

It's not like 15-year-old girls get an education in manga.  I can't tell you "Well, at this point in her development, she will have probably read x, y, and z, and appreciate those works for reasons a, b, and c."  If you want to get to know her, then you should get to know her.

[inaluct]

Scan the stories, too, dude! Just black out the name.

And yeah, you can't know what she likes until you get to know her.

You should probably also not pretend to be interested in what she's interested in. Especially if you aren't interested in it.

[Ø]

At first I almost thought you were trolling.

poem

OK, first off, love is not found by submitting applications (nor with resumes of your macho deeds, for future reference).

it's pretty good though, just let me warn you.

The fact that you like your own poetry, and factoring in your age, feelings, and other general statistics:
Your poetry sucks.

Keep it to yourself. Seriously. On top of that: the poem is creepy because you come out of the blue with it. It could be the world's most fantastic poem regardless of what I expect, but it's still too heavy handed of a move. Writing poetry to each other is maybe around and past friend with benefits at the very earliest IMO unless she's a diehard romantic. Otherwise it's creepy, sappy, stupid, or just weird.

also, i'm willing to admit i might be interested in her more than platonically, but i'd rather not get into that until i deal with some other loose ends which could take a while, so it'd be better if i got to know her first anyway.

Very good. First goal should be just to make friends. However, it's very obvious, factoring in age as well, that you're being compelled by a very strong subconscious compulsion to attempt to bond with her. It will make you think and do stupid things. The best thing you can do is learn to control and suppress any feelings of attraction and desire and THINK before you EVER act. Sit on it for awhile before doing anything.

anyway, i'll sit next to her tomorrow and try to say something.

NO! Wait awhile. Ignore her for the first few days or so. If you move next to her and immediately start striking up conversations, it's pretty obvious what's on your mind. Maybe even talk to other people besides her around your new seat too. You should act as neutral as possible for as long as you can. Do NOT force any conversation. The more natural you make a first impression, the better.

Look: just don't do anything that would clue her into the fact that you have any interest in her, and avoid any blunt actions. You'll just scare her off. Before you do anything, be paranoid about alerting her to your long term intentions. Make a friend. Halfway through the year at the earliest, probably later, if you are good enough friends, then maybe try to unveil her feelings about you. By that time you might have lost all interest or learned that you really wouldn't be very compatible anyway.

...how does this make sense anyway? A young man's initial ideas on how to approach a woman are exactly (well, one of) the things that scares women away. You'd think smarter men or stupider women would be more favorable because they're produce offspring earlier.

[Renault]

Basically, the overarching advice everyone is giving: Don't be a creep. Avoid theatrics. You know full well whats considered in the realm of normal; don't overstep that and you should be fine.
Are you being facetious when you say "I warn you, its really good?" I can't tell if you honestly think people need to be warned of quality or are smirkingly admitting its amateur poetry. I hope for the latter.

[WhiskerMeister]

... Step one: stop lying.

Step two: ask why she likes what she likes, ask what it's about, and so on.

It's not like 15-year-old girls get an education in manga.  I can't tell you "Well, at this point in her development, she will have probably read x, y, and z, and appreciate those works for reasons a, b, and c."  If you want to get to know her, then you should get to know her.

well, okay. but then there's a chance she'll find me totally boring and unrelatable. if i game the situation to my advantage, i'll have a higher chance of winning. i'm pretty sure it's a self-imposed exile, not an ostracization orchestrated by the class.

presumably she chose to isolate herself for some reason. perhaps because, like me, no one else interested her. that gives us something in common. the issue there is that if my psychoanalysis is wrong i'll probably just come off as creepy! so it's best to get close to her by pretending to like what she likes (and maybe i'll even start to appreciate her interests, myself) before springing some heavy psychology stuff on her. i know so little about her -- she might be introverted or she could be completely sociopathic.

being honest is nice, but honestly, i'm not a charismatic or interesting enough person to woo her on an even playing field.

come to think of it, there's no need to rush things. i could look around for a copy of battle royale or something and read it. it might be good? apparently they made a movie. i wonder how she feels about that. going in prepared is so tempting, too. going in blind means i'm just another guy who tried to flirt with her. i wonder how many guys like me she deals with. i need something unique, something that'll make sure she gives me a chance.

edit: whoa. Ø makes a really good point, actually. if i start to sit next to her, she'll become more comfortable with me slowly. i don't have to force anything. furthermore, it'd give me more time to actually look into what she likes and see if it interests me, that way i won't be pretending at all. this is pretty much the perfect plan.

Basically, the overarching advice everyone is giving: Don't be a creep. Avoid theatrics. You know full well whats considered in the realm of normal; don't overstep that and you should be fine.
Are you being facetious when you say "I warn you, its really good?" I can't tell if you honestly think people need to be warned of quality or are smirkingly admitting its amateur poetry. I hope for the latter.

i'm going to build your expectations up so high, you'll expect something absolutely incredible. something so amazing you'll be awed by my brilliance. and then, when you see what it truly is, you'll be utterly stupefied by how it exceeds every preconceived notion you've developed.

[Grakelin]

Fuck, just invite her to a party or something. This forum needs a facepalm smilie.

[Dasleah]

you are treating her like a wounded deer you want to fix up so you can parade it around to show other people how awesome you are

you do not 'win' friends. it is not a game, and certainly, no game you should be a part of

you are fantasising some grand romantic plot to manipulate this person into liking you despite the fact that before your bout of ~+POETIC GENIUS+~ you showed absolutely no interest in her whatsoever and she vice versa

[Ø]

i'm going to build your expectations up so high, you'll expect something absolutely incredible. something so amazing you'll be awed by my brilliance. and then, when you see what it truly is, you'll be utterly stupefied by how it exceeds every preconceived notion you've developed.

Also, more relationship advice: sarcasm is not a humor substitute. It really depends on the person though. Generic joke telling is best saved for your guy friends. I found light hearted inside jokes/games to be the best. Remember that women have a completely different sense of humor than you're probably used to, so tread lightly.