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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1556441 times)

Albedo

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6390 on: July 08, 2015, 03:56:06 pm »

@ pisskop - Since that doesn't explain why a pig would be "hungry", it's no help.

@ Callista - It shouldn't. What more can be said?  You sure you're reading the right symbol?

http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Status_icon

If you [v]iew the "hungry" pig, and check it's [g]eneral status (iirc?), does it ~say~ "Hungry"?
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pisskop

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6391 on: July 08, 2015, 07:00:13 pm »

Dear Urists:

You little bastards have been using the cistern walkways as shortcuts? You dont get to complain about your dead husband when he died because he was walking the sewer-cistern when I was filling it up.  Even worse now his body and equipment is floating around down there with his dustings of filthy sludge.
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drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

Callista

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6392 on: July 08, 2015, 08:48:26 pm »

@ pisskop - Since that doesn't explain why a pig would be "hungry", it's no help.

@ Callista - It shouldn't. What more can be said?  You sure you're reading the right symbol?

http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Status_icon

If you [v]iew the "hungry" pig, and check it's [g]eneral status (iirc?), does it ~say~ "Hungry"?
It says... 'Cavy boar'.

*sigh*

I need to get more sleep. Mistaking a guinea pig for an actual pig....
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pisskop

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6393 on: July 08, 2015, 08:57:08 pm »

Cavy Boars need less than 1 tile of pasture.  Which means you could pasture them all into on pile with other small grazers, like bunnys.

:b  sorry, I thought you meant the pig.  so while it would starve without pasture, it requires such a small space that you couold even take advantage of the ramp removal bug to feed them.
Dont dwarves feed their own critters?

Here is a pic of the critter
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ferocious ;)
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Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

Callista

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6394 on: July 08, 2015, 09:05:34 pm »

Yeah, *I* thought it was a pig, too. I saw "cavy boar" and blanked on the fact that this particular boar is a guinea pig, not an oinking, curly-tailed sort of pig.

At least if the thing dies of hunger and turns into an undead guinea pig, it'll be small enough that the military can smack it into zombie paste.

Actually, you know what? I hope it does die of hunger and turn into a zombie. Because if that happens, it may fall into one of the strategically placed cage traps I've put around the halls for just such eventualities. And if it does, that undead-guinea-pig cage is going to be built in the bedroom of Urist McPetOwner. Waking up to beady little evil zombie guinea pig eyes staring at him every morning should set him straight. Or drive him amusingly mad, not sure which.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2015, 09:09:46 pm by Callista »
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Albedo

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6395 on: July 09, 2015, 01:25:37 pm »

It says... 'Cavy boar'.

*sigh*

I need to get more sleep. Mistaking a guinea pig for an actual pig....

Happens. Be more significant if your dwarves were trying to stay kosher. ;)
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BumbleMead

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6396 on: July 09, 2015, 09:19:52 pm »

Dear Vlad Gosmer,
 
    I am aware that being a vampire mage gives you a thirst for blood. However, if you do not drink the blood of the invaders rather than that of my dwarves I will be forced to drop you in the volcano. Four murder convictions in one year is bad enough, but you haven't even hit your third birthday yet, so knock it off!

Dear Captain of the Guard,
    I don't care how cute she is, she's still a bloodsucker. Chuck her in a cell already.

     -The Overseer, who needed those miners and isn't pleased about training new ones
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Dozebôm Lolumzalìs

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6397 on: July 10, 2015, 10:48:06 am »

Dear bunch of ecological disaster,

The amount of fishes and mussels in the river is limited. You know I use my all mighty powers to make the nature replenishes livestock every years, but I wont help you anymore if you keep wasting all those good fishes like this !
For Armock's sake, you are standing on a pile of rotten mussel corpse. You are buried on those wasted goods ! Why do you keep dragging new catches out of the water to let them rot on the ground, when there are already so many to prepare and turn into delicious roasts ?

Stop acting like humans, you fools !

Your Overseer

But sir, we were told to fish!  Fishing, of course, is the highest duty a dwarf could receive, and we couldn't possibly stop fishing just to haul something, even if the hail would be our recent catch of fish!  Try having somebody else do it, instead.  I'm only a fisher, you know, not a hauler
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sculleywr

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6398 on: July 10, 2015, 04:46:07 pm »

Dear Urist McFirstdwarves

It has come to my attention that the first Dwarf Queen, Ral Brasstoned, was a necromancer. Is this intentional?
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I had one get happy again... After producing a bed made from their own husband's body.
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escondida

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6399 on: July 11, 2015, 10:20:51 am »

Dear Urist McFirstdwarves

It has come to my attention that the first Dwarf Queen, Ral Brasstoned, was a necromancer. Is this intentional?

Royalty are particularly prone to wanting to "prolong [their lives] by any means." Achieving that goal generally means abdicating the throne to go write literary criticism and memoirs and read them to zombies for eternity.
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sculleywr

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6400 on: July 12, 2015, 02:16:04 am »

Dear Urist McPeasantdoctors,

You were drafted in the wake of the goblin ambushes on the nineteenth of obsidian. I have disabled all 6 of you for all non medical tasks. So please tell me why Urist McSniperheadshot is still bleeding out of his right hand after the new year has begun?!?

Get off your asses and fix him!

Sincerely, the man who wishes he had found magma.

Dear Urist McSniperheadshot,

That was one hell of a shot, firing from the unfinished walks fort entrance all the way to the edge of the perimeter. I apologize that the second ambush left you cut off from the fort, and applaud your ability to deftly use your crossbow to avoid the attacks of the axeman. But would it hurt for you to at least attempt to attack the goblin before he is knocked unconscious? And when he is, would it hurt you to point your crossbow at his head and put him down instead of beating on him for a day and a half?

Sincerely,
Militia commander.

(Seriously, my fort is at the northern end and the first ambush was at the southern end of a 4x4 map. He took a shot coming out the glog. Two seconds later, I hear the combat sound and check the log to see a bolt striking the goblin axeman in the head on his log

Sincerely,
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I had one get happy again... After producing a bed made from their own husband's body.
I once  had a fort called paddledbottom in the plains of spanking founded by the painful punishment
And so, in a thread about cointainers with usele

pisskop

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6401 on: July 13, 2015, 01:06:22 pm »

Dear Dwarves of HeatRelic;

DO YOU PLAN TO EVER CONSTRUCT THE BARON'S BED ANYTIME AT ALL EVER?
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Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

Eric Blank

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6402 on: July 13, 2015, 01:14:14 pm »

Dear Pisskop;

No, hurry up and atom smash him so we can just build a slab instead.
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TheFlame52

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6403 on: July 13, 2015, 03:39:23 pm »

Dear Queen Lorbam,

Fuck your piccolo mandates. Fuck your imprisonment of people that aren't even involved in the production of piccolos. But most importantly, fuck you. You are the most annoying noble I've ever had. I'd kill you if you had any successors in my fort, but you don't so you live. At least until I decide enough is enough and take my chances with random succession or impregnating you via DFhack.

Callista

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6404 on: July 13, 2015, 09:55:25 pm »

Dear Urists McHauler:
Please stop canceling the hauling of various objects because you saw a dead goblin and were horrified by the experience. Yes, they are dead goblins. In fact, you are hauling precisely because there are dead goblins, trolls, and various ex-invaders, and we need their armor to melt and turn it into better armor for our military, so that the military can make more dead goblins.

Or would you prefer living goblins in the fortress? Because I can easily arrange for that.

Your Overseer.
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