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[GreatWyrmGold]

Dear bukitodinos,
Why are you complaining? Just make your own Fun. Go ahead, make a big statue out front, we won't bite...Or maybe we will...
Sincerely,
Us guys.

[Urist McKiwi]

Dear Urist.

This is a nice embark. A very nice one indeed. Deep soil, sand, clay, and there's gold everywhere once we dig down. Even though everything is friggen blue and sparkly, it's a nice place. So why exactly did you park the wagon in the MIDDLE OF A GROUP OF ALLIGATORS?


(Quickest fortress destruction I've had in a good few months)

[Shininglight]

Dear dwarves of WhipChane:

THERE IS A MASSIVE STOCKPILE ONLY TWELVE SPACES AWAY FROM THE BUTCHERS SHOP AND FARMS! For the love of Armok almost 20 of you say you have no jobs, so STORE SOME OF THE FOOD THAT YOU'VE LEFT ROTTING FOR 3 SEASONS!!!!!!! I need those mushrooms stored so i can brew and that meat from the war elephant who starved to death last month so you don't DIE, now i'm trying to make the caverns safe so i can set up a magma foundry and give you militia armor and weapons, SO HURRY UP!

- Sincerely your frustrated and bitter overseer.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Dear Urist.

This is a nice embark. A very nice one indeed. Deep soil, sand, clay, and there's gold everywhere once we dig down. Even though everything is friggen blue and sparkly, it's a nice place. So why exactly did you park the wagon in the MIDDLE OF A GROUP OF ALLIGATORS?


(Quickest fortress destruction I've had in a good few months)

Reclaim. Oh, and dwarven wagons are dropped in by trained rocs.

Dear dwarves of WhipChane:

THERE IS A MASSIVE STOCKPILE ONLY TWELVE SPACES AWAY FROM THE BUTCHERS SHOP AND FARMS! For the love of Armok almost 20 of you say you have no jobs, so STORE SOME OF THE FOOD THAT YOU'VE LEFT ROTTING FOR 3 SEASONS!!!!!!! I need those mushrooms stored so i can brew and that meat from the war elephant who starved to death last month so you don't DIE, now i'm trying to make the caverns safe so i can set up a magma foundry and give you militia armor and weapons, SO HURRY UP!

- Sincerely your frustrated and bitter overseer.

You can't butcher tame animals that died of natural causes! Union rules.

Sincerely,
Urist McClerk.

[ElenaRoan]

Urist McNewWoodCrafter

"This is an acacia ring.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.  It is studded with silver and encircled with bands of pong grabber leather.  This object is adorned with hanging rings of acacia and menaces with spikes of feather wood and raw adamantine."

- unimpressed

It has adamantine spikes.
...
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

Him to have used something other than the raw adamantine.  Why they always have to grab the craft workshop dedicated to strand extraction, even when it's sitting right above the magma sea, I'll never know.

I'll have to remember to forbid raw adamantine in the future when they want rocks.

That dwarf was very lucky I'm not in the habit of doing anything permanent to dwarfs that annoy me.

Burrows?

Only ever use one burrow, the one to (hopefully) get everyone inside when there's an ambush/seige.  I'm sure there's ways to use burrows more creatively, I just haven't figured them out yet.

[Andux]

Spoiler: Image (click to show/hide)

Dear Urists McFraidy,

Oh, yes, that's a real beast. You're lucky you're still alive.

Sarcastically,
Your Facepalming Overlord

[GreatWyrmGold]

Dear Andux,

There's a thousand reasons it might kill me. If it came to close to me or vise versa, it might get spooked and bite me, leading to an incurable infection. It might be an evil creature that just looks like a chinchilla. It might be a warbeast of goblins or kobolds, and lead to me getting my skull bashed in or my eye stabbed out. It might have rabies. I might get distracted while walking, keeping an eye on it, and trying not to think of all the ways it could kill me and accidentally walk off a cliff. It's just safety.
Also, I do not have the "danger-estimating" part of my brain functioning yet.

Sincerely,
Atir Kastlolok.

[Splint]

He did the right thing. Any animal can score a lucky hit to a dorf's temple, even chickens. Or chinchilla's as it were.
---
Dear residents fo Hexwebbed

Quite tripping while going into the temporary shelter. The combat reports keep making me think my know-nothing miners are getting mauled by cyotes.

Thank you,
Overseer Splint.

P.S. I hope you like sandstorms and mountain predators.

[Nyxalinth]

Dear game,

Where are my shallow and deep metals as promised?  You, sir, are a liar!  My dwarves normally find tons of metals within a few levels.  Not this time, it's all flux (how you taunt me so!), cobaltite, diorite, and clay, and I've already dug down ten levels.  You call this frequent minerals?

Grumpy McNoLove

[Sus]

Dear Military:

20 vs 1 and all of you manage to get killed? Without a single hit on the goblin spearmaster? Seriously, how do you do that?
*buries face in palms, weeps bitterly*

-Sus, overseer, Cobaltchain

[Mishrak]

Dear Urist McHanick

So my moat is half flooded, and we're urgently installing some floodgates just because we can.  Would you please, just indulge me a bit, explain why exactly you decided to go to the side that was FULL OF WATER to install the mechanisms required to operate the floodgates with a lever?  Of course that water is going to interrupt you and cause you to halt your job.  However, when this occurred, you appeared to be stuck in the moat.  Upon closer inspection however, you were found to be SLEEPING in the moat.  The water is filling up and you're ASLEEP!  What are you thinking!  I'm still not sure how you didn't drown.  After your lovely little nap, you then decided to go to the other side that was dry and install the mechanisms properly.

Considering making you a furnace operator,

Urist McOverlord

[Pyro627]

Dear Military:

20 vs 1 and all of you manage to get killed? Without a single hit on the goblin spearmaster? Seriously, how do you do that?
*buries face in palms, weeps bitterly*

-Sus, overseer, Cobaltchain

Were they skilled and equipped military dwarves, or just random schmucks you drafted in?

[Andux]

Spoiler: Image (click to show/hide)

YOUR SHIPMENT OF FAIL

HAS ARRIVED

Dear Urist McCaravanDriver,

Words fail me. Your timing was exquisite; you managed to arrive at precisely the right moment to meet the first wagon of the human caravan head-on, just as they were beginning to cross the bridge.

Since neither one of you will be going anywhere for a while, you should have plenty of time to consider the consequenses of your actions.

Sincerely,
Your Exasperated Overlord

[Canisaur]

ahahaha, that JUST happened to me recently, only in my case they met just over the bridge (I had a walled-off route going to the edge of my map so the caravans always showed up in the same place).  I had to deconstruct almost the entire wall past my bridge (and of course ambushers came during my efforts) before they un-stuck themselves.

[calico103]

Dear Urist McWoodcutter,

When we assign trees to be cut, we expect you to chop all of them down. We do NOT expect you to fell a single tree, take the resulting log to the stockpile, go back to cut more trees, and repeat the process FOR EVERY TREE. Dude, seriously, there are six other dwarves, all having the hauling labor on. So please, be more efficient with the woodcutting and leave the hauling to them.

Unamused,
Calico and friend