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[NewSheoth]

Dear Urist McCarpenter,

Please GET THE FUCK OUT of the drained murky pool. Yes I know it's hot here, and it's so cool down there, but the next time you do it, I won't dig you out an exit like I did LAST TWO FUCKING TIMES!

Cheers,

Overseer

[Drakeero]

Dear Children of the Fort:

Please do not stand on top of your parents while they are trying to work.

Management

ps. Cats, this goes for you too.

Dear Urist McBabyfactory,

Somehow you've managed to have 3, or what 4 now children?  You have a baby in each arm and two kids trailing around behind you wherever you go.  Please, keep your legs closed for a few years.  We already have 17 anklebiters running around the fortress in 5 years.

[ZergSpartan]

Dear UristMcMilitaryMom,
I like to think of myself as a pro-active and forward thinking overbeing by letting men, women, and even non-dwarfs serve side by side in our pround military. What confuses me is that when you enter the danger room with your squad, and the lever pulled, THEN AND ONLY THEN is when you have your child! Did you not see the +Dwarf Baby Blood+ on the walls?! Because yaknow, 4 babies have already died in there! Did you think, "Oh hey, repeatedly stabbing spikes coated in +Dwarf Baby Blood+, what a great place to have a baby!"
Until further notice you will have 2 armed guards and multiple warbeasts following you in case of tantrum.
Love, the Overseer.

[celem]

Dear Urist McProactiveChild,

Yer Da's in the militia aye?  Well just since you grew up a bit and no longer haunt yer Ma is no reason to be followin him instead.  The next time you black out in the danger room Urist McMayor might be in a meeting rather than sleeping on the Lever, and there where do I stand?  Give it 5 more years and get back to me about military service.

Manager

P.S - Me aide tells me yer already an Adequate Fighter and Dodger?  Hmmm, limit yerself to once every 6 months please, and notify the Doc on yer way in.  I'll knock ye up a candy robe ASAP.

[Killing Time]

Dear Thor Helmsmysteries
Move your dog. Or kill it. At least push its pus ridden necrotic body off of you so I can drop the ceiling on it.
Seriously guy, it's filling the hospital with more miasma than a pile month old goblin corpses could ever hope to.

Thanks,
The Chief

PS There is more than one bed in the hospital. USE THEM. There is no reason you should be sharing a bed with Parley and Victoria (as well as your rotting dog). The mental image is unpleasant.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Dear !!Urist!! while I am aware that  being on fire is prone to making one thirsty, I would appreciate it if you would NOT walk over to the booze stockpile in the middle of the busy party occuring in my meeting hall.
Regards. What's left of The Overseer.

[Akura]

Dear UristMcMilitaryMom,
I like to think of myself as a pro-active and forward thinking overbeing by letting men, women, and even non-dwarfs serve side by side in our pround military. What confuses me is that when you enter the danger room with your squad, and the lever pulled, THEN AND ONLY THEN is when you have your child! Did you not see the +Dwarf Baby Blood+ on the walls?! Because yaknow, 4 babies have already died in there! Did you think, "Oh hey, repeatedly stabbing spikes coated in +Dwarf Baby Blood+, what a great place to have a baby!"
Until further notice you will have 2 armed guards and multiple warbeasts following you in case of tantrum.
Love, the Overseer.

Dwarven C-section?

[Uzu Bash]

Dear Urist McSyndrome

The next one of you to refuse to go to the hospital and instead puke all the way down my obsidian road will wear vomit in their beards until death.

Dear Dr. Urist, M.D.:

No job, you say? No job? I recall you having a grand total of one job to do. Now your colleage has gone to a party, and I can excuse him even though he should've forseen the need for him before committing to the engagement for the simple reason that he does all your goddamn work for you the rest of the time! Now get to those soldiers in your ward or I'll have the healthy ones jackboot your teeth down your throat in front of your children!

[Musashi]

Dear Urist McOtherMayor,

you seem to have an unhealthy passion for maces. First, you forbid their exportation, which didn't change a damn thing anyway because no merchant showed up during that mandate. Then you ordered to have maces made. I spent precious ore that could be put to much better use to make these, knowing no one in my army would ever equip these. I fulfilled your request a bit before the deadline, that was fine.
What do you ask for next?
EVEN MORE ARMOKFORSAKEN MACES.
Just what the hell do you plan to do with all these maces?!
...
... wait, actually, I don't think I want to know, after all.

Signed,
your overseer.

P.S. : watch your office.

[Gr33kjester]

Dear Urist McMiner,
Please remember that when you try to mine into a MAGMA pipe, don't mine it, then fall asleep, thank Armok that Comrade 4 (Urist McWoodworker) picked you up, you are very very lucky, don't fail me again...
On the brighter side, Comrade 4 (Urist McWoodworker) you will get a better bedroom and dining room for your selfless actions,
Yours dictated,
Comrade No 1

[AngleWyrm]

And thus ends the communist ideal of equality.

[NewSheoth]

With thunderous applause with best intentions in mind.

[Mantonio]

Dear Urist McMayor.

What do you mean, export of toys prohibited? Toys are ALL we export!

Fine, whatever. You obviously know best. To show our appreciation, we've left a little surprise in your room. Hope you enjoy it!

- The Manager

[Gr33kjester]

And thus ends the communist ideal of equality.

Yes, but, he was instantly killed by an "unfortunate event"

[Musashi]

And thus ends the communist ideal of equality.

Yes, but, he was instantly killed by an "unfortunate event"

I believe the joke was that, by getting now treated differently, your dorfs didn't benefit the communist ideal of equality anymore.
Or maybe I don't know enough about communism?

EDIT: huh, sorry, you changed your post right before I quoted D: