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[raptorfangamer]

Dear leader.

just tell me who you are, and what do you hate, I will make some very special engravings soon if I dont find happiness soon enough.


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you idiotic Dear Urist Mcsmelter
no, I dont care, I made the reactions (hopefully) right! so you should do them, and follow them to their very ends, now craft a chain with a pick and give it to a militia dorf

no, I dont pay you for that, I dont pay you for anything, on some brighter news, you will be conscripted to your own squad next season, dont worry, you will be fighting those adorable capybaras, all of the local legends are lies the las militia commander didnt retire because of that, dont be a wuss.

[Minepow2]

Dear Urist McCarpenter,

     I noticed that you are complaining about a unicorn nuzzling your shoulder when you were making beds in the outdoors.  Why were you out there when you have a very nice workshop made with jewels.  So either come in or let the unicorn eat you, for I have no use for you. 

     Sincerely,

Your almighty over seer

[Reudh]

To Mr Minepow Overseer-man,

I wanted to breathe the outdoors ya know? Don't get me wrong, I'm no elf, it's just good to get outside to fight off the cave nasty. I don't want to be spewin' everywhere every time I go out o' the fort, ya ken?

And the military shoul' be takin' care of the unicorns. They make good eatin' from what I heard.
And good fighters, what with that dirty great horn in their heads. You should look inta capturin' summa' tha' unicorns so's I don't get shoulder nudges in future.

Jus' sayin'.

Yours understandably,
Urist McCarpenter Esq.

[Vehudur]

Dear nearly-dead miner,

     I realize that you thought mining out that pillar was a good idea, however, you removed the support for the rock under your own feet.  I am amazed you survived the fall.

     Enjoy your broken limbs.

Sincerely,

    Your amused overseer.

[Broseidon]

Dear Marksdwarfs

Use bolts

Signed,

A concerned parent

[Zaphod728]

Dear Urist McWTF?!

That platform was dug out 2 years ago, long before you arrived to this fortress. How did you get up there? Did you learn to jump? Did somehow you learn to fly? Did you ride the goose !? I would love an army of goose riders, but you should have revealed your secrets before dieing of thirst.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Shot at 2012-01-20

Your Friendly Neighborhood Overload

[Korva]

PS. Don't think I don't know it was you who possessed Urist McGemCutter to build a gemstone coffin decorated with images of the coffin itself in more gemstone, not even 1 minute after your death... No. You will not be buried in it. You. were. not. that. important. 

Heh, good one. Talk about timing. :p

[Zaphod728]

Dear Mr McGander

When I was little my parents had a conversation that started "When a goose loves a gander . . . . " I thought i understood how these things worked. Then I saw this:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Shot at 2012-01-20

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Shot at 2012-01-20

Your Confused Neighborhood Overload

[Jake]

Dear Zaphod,

This is one of those questions that sensible people don't ask, because if they got an answer it would surely drive them mad.

Yours,

A fellow Avatar of Armok.

[werechicken]

Dear military dwarves

Bravery is a fine thing, but, in six separate sieges one of you, without fail, will run out on his own and will either be brutally killed, horrifically injured or get knocked out on a cage trap.

Could you all please just stay where I order you, I mean it's not like you can even see the incoming goblins where I post you.

[Garath]

Dear McSuperfluous,

Yes, I knew the risk. Yes magma is beautiful.
However, I do not apreciate it that you lost a valuable pickaxe as well as your life because you were just standing still watching death aproach

[Xzalander]

Dear McMetalWorker,

While I understand each dwarf will eventually have an epiphany and decide to lock themselves away with some of our most valuable resources and while the resource you took was not that valuable it was ruddy rare!

Sure it was only copper, but that copper was BOUGHT in for a pricely sum of 140 Dwarfbucks due to the fact there is no ore that we have discovered.

I was hoping youd atleast make some decent use of it but no instead you made a flute. With an engraving of your idiot cousins artifact a wood necklace.

Enjoy your hammering. Both of you.

[Nyxalinth]

Dear Dwarf Fortress,

I hear you knocking, but you can't come in.  Why?  Because the new version is coming soon, and I don't want to sink time/effort/resources into a fort that I'll probably never play again once it's released.  I promise I'll be back, just chill out.

Me

[Shinotsa]

Dear Urvad Bluntedwound the Invisible Dish of Bends,

You are perhaps the dwarfiest dwarf I have ever known. Not only did you serve admirably protecting the citizens in the siege that ended with only five survivors in the entire fort, but you also were the only of those five to actually listen to my burrow order and head into the caverns before the goblins broke deeper into the fort. There you sealed yourself off and proceeded to gather your own food through fishing and herbalism, build your own furniture, and generally just ensure your survival. You did so well down there that I assigned you a handful of stockpiles, enabled all of your jobs, and forgot about you.

Sorry about that.

But a year of inattentive overseeing later, when I needed some wood and decided to come down for the tower caps there you were, happily eating food you gathered yourself, drinking water, and admiring your own damn furniture. However your masonry and carpentry workshops were no more, both reduced to meager piles of stone. And in the all-in-one stockpile I assigned to you long after you were sealed off is a large uppercase T. While it has been so long that the combat report is empty, I have to say that I don't exactly care what Invisible Bends you served to him, I can only imagine your moniker was given to yourself as you sneakily readjusted its anatomy wearing no armor but your old tattered shreds.

If the caravans ever come back you are immediately being elevated to Baron. You have found a place in my heart and, if I get bored, my arena.

[miauw62]

Dear urist mcnoble,

Could you please pull that lever for me?

Singed,
those hidden magma pumps A good friend.