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who will

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win

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Total Members Voted: 0

Voting closed: July 09, 2010, 08:17:28 pm

[CJ1145]

Okay, here's the Fishes and the Loaves story on Wikipedia and Bible.cc. Jesus breaks the bread and fish into pieces, and passes them around, and there are more. He can't summon fish in midair. He can't fling fish at supersonic velocities. He can't beat people to death with fish. His powers, that we know of, are very specific indeed: given a fish, he can break that fish into fragments, which will apparently grow into whole fishes or something of that nature. A dwarf may be able to behead a colossus with its bizarre ultra-throwing powers, but Jesus, with the strength of exactly one man, would not. The colossus would stomp him into the dirt immediately.

You didn't read my explanation for how Jesus can beat the Colossus with fish.

[RAM]

But there is not fish power, there is only spontaneous growth of matter, and not particularly quickly at that. And water to wine isn't much of an issue for a living statue... Nor even is the odd herald of your coming or disease curing. One could make an argument that colossi are possessed, and can be rebuked, but the absence of any inanimate bronze colossi suggest that they are in their natural state...

Religious, political, and DF figures are a bad idea, they will all have proponents for the 'I win forever' theory...'

Lets call it Jesus from South Park and a Bronze statue from Magic: The Gathering

[CJ1145]

But there is not fish power, there is only spontaneous growth of matter, and not particularly quickly at that. And water to wine isn't much of an issue for a living statue... Nor even is the odd herald of your coming or disease curing. One could make an argument that colossi are possessed, and can be rebuked, but the absence of any inanimate bronze colossi suggest that they are in their natural state...

Then he prepared the pile beforehand. This is really simple and you're throwing it out the window because "b-but its not power!"

Maybe I'm looking at it a bit hostilely, but joking or not I explained how Jesus would win. I have yet to be proven wrong, I am either ignored or am told that Jesus, AKA GOD can't make fish when he feels like it.

[smjjames]

But there is not fish power, there is only spontaneous growth of matter, and not particularly quickly at that. And water to wine isn't much of an issue for a living statue... Nor even is the odd herald of your coming or disease curing. One could make an argument that colossi are possessed, and can be rebuked, but the absence of any inanimate bronze colossi suggest that they are in their natural state...

Religious, political, and DF figures are a bad idea, they will all have proponents for the 'I win forever' theory...'

Lets call it Jesus from South Park and a Bronze statue from Magic: The Gathering

That thing looks pretty stupidly drawn, seriously.....

[Enzo]

JESUS WINS! JESUS WINS!!

Yeah I'm down with Jesus.

[Cheddarius]

You didn't read my explanation for how Jesus can beat the Colossus with fish.

I did. Jesus cannot summon Godzilla with fish. Neither does he have a "Jesus ray" able to burst 1 fish into 10 tons of fish in milliseconds. The parable was quite clear that he broke the fish up and thus made more fish.

You could argue that Godzilla is attracted to fish. But then, I can argue that I just made up uber-Satan, who is attracted to the smell of Bronze Colossi and who kills Jesus instantly with laser beams. And thus BC wins. This is a fight to the death between the Bronze Colossus and Jesus, not the Bronze Colossus and Jesus and Matthew Broderick and Godzilla and whoever else Jesus finds useful.

[smjjames]

You didn't read my explanation for how Jesus can beat the Colossus with fish.

I did. Jesus cannot summon Godzilla with fish. Neither does he have a "Jesus ray" able to burst 1 fish into 10 tons of fish in milliseconds. The parable was quite clear that he broke the fish up and thus made more fish.

You could argue that Godzilla is attracted to fish. But then, I can argue that I just made up uber-Satan, who is attracted to the smell of Bronze Colossi and who kills Jesus instantly with laser beams. And thus BC wins. This is a fight to the death between the Bronze Colossus and Jesus, not the Bronze Colossus and Jesus and Matthew Broderick and Godzilla and whoever else Jesus finds useful.

Exactly, and lol on satan shooting laser beams.

[Earthquake Damage]

'Nuff said.

[CJ1145]

You didn't read my explanation for how Jesus can beat the Colossus with fish.

I did. Jesus cannot summon Godzilla with fish. Neither does he have a "Jesus ray" able to burst 1 fish into 10 tons of fish in milliseconds. The parable was quite clear that he broke the fish up and thus made more fish.

You could argue that Godzilla is attracted to fish. But then, I can argue that I just made up uber-Satan, who is attracted to the smell of Bronze Colossi and who kills Jesus instantly with laser beams. And thus BC wins. This is a fight to the death between the Bronze Colossus and Jesus, not the Bronze Colossus and Jesus and Matthew Broderick and Godzilla and whoever else Jesus finds useful.

I'm guessing you either

A) Haven't seen the movie
B) Have no sense of humor
C) Honestly think a magical statue can beat a man who we are assuming to be God. If we're taking Jesus as a combination of all of his forms, then he is literally unstoppable as of Revelation and Paradise Lost.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Easy, everyone. This is just a silly popularity tournament.

[Cheddarius]

I'm guessing you either

A) Haven't seen the movie
B) Have no sense of humor
C) Honestly think a magical statue can beat a man who we are assuming to be God. If we're taking Jesus as a combination of all of his forms, then he is literally unstoppable as of Revelation and Paradise Lost.

I have not seen the movie.
We are not assuming Jesus to be God. We are assuming Jesus to be Jesus. There's all that screwy stuff with Jesus/God/Holy Ghost, true, but it's not BC vs. the Holy Trinity, it's BC vs. Jesus, actual Jesus, who was easily crucified and then killed, and who had no combat superpowers to speak of.

What about if we assume that BC is a combination of all his forms? It's only fair, if we do the same for Jesus.

A Story, By Cheddarius
Once there was a Bronze Colossus. He was even better than Jesus and would kill him in a fight. The end.

[tehstefan]

EVERYTHING IS SERIOUS BSNS ON THE INTRAWEBS!

[CJ1145]

I'm guessing you either

A) Haven't seen the movie
B) Have no sense of humor
C) Honestly think a magical statue can beat a man who we are assuming to be God. If we're taking Jesus as a combination of all of his forms, then he is literally unstoppable as of Revelation and Paradise Lost.

I have not seen the movie.
We are not assuming Jesus to be God. We are assuming Jesus to be Jesus. There's all that screwy stuff with Jesus/God/Holy Ghost, true, but it's not BC vs. the Holy Trinity, it's BC vs. Jesus, actual Jesus, who was easily crucified and then killed, and who had no combat superpowers to speak of.

Except at the end of the Bible, which is technically the same Jesus. There, he pretty much kicked the ass of Satan and all his angels and all that. By your own logic, Jesus, even without the power of the trinity, is still the greatest soldier of all time. And that's not even getting into his other incarnations.

EDIT: And if you haven't seen the movie you wouldn't get the joke.

[Diablous]

Guys, calm down. This is just a stupid contest.

[CJ1145]

Guys, calm down. This is just a stupid contest.

Well, I'm sorry if I get upset when someone admits they haven't seen a Godzilla movie!