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[Criptfeind]

Ahem

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

From atop my FORTRESS OF UNASSAILABLE EVIL I observe the goings on in my GRIM DOMAIN. I decide to fill out some of those forms from the king's clerks detailing my quotas of evil activities for the month. For example, I am required to release sand imps into 32.6% of the clocks in Erkinshire. I am somewhat irked about this, because I am allowed to import no more than 1200 small beasts from the deserts, and I'm going to need at least 200 more to clog those clocks properly. I reluctantly increase their hours.
I am also restricted to only 3 orcish raids this month, and worse, no trolls. On the upside, I can field 20% more murders of crows, and I'm allowed up to seven ominous thunderstorms.
Regardless, the work of a licensed Dark Lord is never done.

[Tack]

1. SEND MISSIVE TO MAGGARG, EATER OF RELATIVELY INNOCENT AND HARMLESS CHICKEN.
Inquiring about how happy he would be to get an extra 200 sand imps randomly turn up at his doorstep.

2. Send Ghazkull to get troops on capturing a lot of sand imps.

3. Ignore incredulous stare/laugh.


Remember. It's not the moral alignment of the client that matters, it's how much they pay you. And that if they're really evil, their children don't make good collateral. And if they're really good, any random kitten makes good collateral.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

I would be pretty damn delighted, as it allows me to get a bonus for departmental initiative.
Technically I'm morally obliged not to pay you, as I am an evil lord, but I'm pretty sure I can get some orcs to beat up some rich people on your doorstep or something. Regard that as your payment.

[Tack]

I have got a lot of rich people, and a lot of doorsteps. And they all know my name, and how I feel about them, blah blah, you know the rub. I'd be delighted.

This mutually exclusive thing works out.

Crypt. Barba. How many turns would it take a few battallions to catch 200... sand imps?

[Heron TSG]

Turns are approximately as long as the action taken.

[Tack]

Right, so where are we starting under the new rules?

I guess our unanimous answer is a "Get the hell out of our land before we cut you".

[Archangel]

Barborossa, we have the Time Knights, a meteor, and some Rangers attacking the invaders.

And several dozen Crusaders.

[ECrownofFire]

Right, so where are we starting under the new rules?

I guess our unanimous answer is a "Get the hell out of our land before we cut you".

Whoever says that will have to be killed. We have to send a strongly worded letter.

[Tack]

It's an army. Are we going to walk up to the front line and tuck it into a soldier's tunic?

[Retro]

walk up to the front line and tuck it into a soldier's tunic

Let's do this.

[Tack]

The more I laugh incredulously, the more FUCKING MEHTAL it seems to be.

And, this is Feudalism. War has to start with a nice firm declaration. Because even though you're trying to kill eachother, doesn't mean you can't be gentlemen.

[ECrownofFire]

Perhaps we can have a 1v1 combat thing? We send the best fighter in the kingdom, they send theirs.

Also, we need more things that people can be killed for.

[Archangel]

Also, we need more things that people can be killed for.

Heresy towards Rotarn?

[Tack]

Perhaps we can have a 1v1 combat thing? We send the best fighter in the kingdom, they send theirs.

Also, we need more things that people can be killed for.

1. We'd have to pick the fighter out of the many fiefs wanting to use Their champion.

2. There's already enough things. Stop trying to butcher the populace.