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[smigenboger]

Tell us your favorites! To start us off:

Don't leave alphabet soup on the stove for too long...it could spell disaster!

[warhammer651]

in b4
"holy shist! This thread is mica me sick"

[Phantom]

I have no tricks up my sleeve.
*Snake falls out of sleeve. I pick up snake.*
You didn't see anything, that was an optical illusion.

(I tried that joke a year ago on some friends.)

[Christes]

Gneiss one.

Holy schist, this thread is mica me sick.

There's too much off-topic talc in here.  I chalk it up to a lack of updates.

There's too much off-topic talc in here.  I chalk it up to a lack of updates.

But of quartzite's gonna get off-topic. Too much gabbro. Needs to be more to-the-point, even at the risk of being chert.

It got worse from there...

(Yes, I know Warhammer indirectly quoted me )

[Phantom]

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=54795.0
So many I'm not even gonna post one quote.

[smigenboger]

That conglomerate of mineral jokes felsite unseen.

[piecewise]

"That's a harp he's playing, Nobby," said one of them, after watching Imp for a while.
"Lyre."
"No, it's the honest truth, I'm—" The fat Guard frowned and looked down. "You've just been waiting all your life to say that, ain't you Nobby," he said. "I bet you was born hoping that one day someone'd say 'That's a harp' so you could say 'lyre', on account of it being a pun or play on words. Well, har har."

[Itnetlolor]

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=54795.0
So many I'm not even gonna post one quote.

It was awesome watching that thread gain much appeal.

Sometimes it's hard to tell if someone is trying too hard or hardly trying.

[alway]

"Pearls before swine" cartoons often have some pretty awesome puns.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Urist Imiknorris]

One fish
Two fish
Black and
Blue fish.

[Grakelin]

I was talking to this kid about all the Geese that swarm the University of Waterloo due to our conservation. They get extremely violent in the Spring time and like to lay territory to prime spots like doorways and intersections. Sometimes they have blood feuds and draw the territory along the pathways near the residence buildings (thankfully, I haven't had to go there for a month or two now). Geese have tongues by the way. I know first hand. They come flying out of their mouths when they hiss at you, their wings spread, their talons sharpened.

So the kid said: We should just get rid of them. No harm, no fowl.

[ein]

A lumberjack walks into a bar. What does he order?
A logger.

[RAM]

Edibly tame buns!

[Heron TSG]

Did you hear about the kung-fu movie? It was a real blockbuster. I think I'll buy it just for kicks.

[Jackrabbit]

Did you hear the joke about the train? Oh, man, you just missed it.

What about the one about the sun? Ah, forget it, it'll go over your head.