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[FZE]

So I grabbed a couple webs from my recently uncovered cavern because a possessed dwarf was demanding some, but couldn't manage to destroy the bridge I'd built (a floor tile, actually) to connect my fortress to the cavern without the builder getting on the cavern side of it to do so.

So, I left it alone with a cage trap and a weapon trap to guard the pathway, with about 20 levels separating it from a drawbridge across my channeled river and my fortress proper.

Well, I came back down to the cavern to take a peek a minute ago, and discovered a platoon of 16 crundles waiting on the bridge, but they were just standing there, rather than ascending the stairs to my fortress. I checked the traps, the cage had caught a crundle and a giant olm was torn apart by the two dozen bolts from the weapon trap (thank Armok, he would've been a problem with only a waterway standing between him and the fortress).

So, A. Why aren't the crundles ascending, B. How would five modestly armored Grand Master Axedwarves do against the sixteen crundles in a 1-2 unit wide corridor, and C. What type of weapon trap would be most lethal used against a squad of crundles?

[Brian7772]

A - They are retarded. I don't think I've ever seem them leave the underground though. Your spring cage traps may also be the issue.
B - I have seena  dam near nakid dwarf with a pic kill 5 and not get hurt. Unless they get in a lucky shot you aught to be fine.
C - Magma, because it solves everything. Otherwise spikes that way when they are bleeding they will run all over your underground trying to escape and decorate the entire area in blood.

[HammerDave]

I've had crundles climb stairs.  First exposure, I didn't even know they were unfriendly, and had no spare weapons so I activated the nearest peasant expecting a bunch of strangled crundles.  Turns out wrestlers don't do too well against them.     And then a hunter ignored his supply of bolts and waded in using the crossbow as a hammer, and it turns out blunt weapons don't work too well either.   

So wrestling, ranged, and blunt are much less effective than normal.  Now I start making edged weapons at the earliest convenient time.   

[kingpocky]

Someone must have warned them about stairs, bro.

[FZE]

Incredible.

What was supposed to happen:

1. Lower Drawbridge
2. Special Forces Dwarves wait for crundle invasion with labyrinth full of spike traps
3. Crundles rush across drawbridge, slaughtered en masse
4. Destroy connection to cavern until exploratory forces are prepared
5. Problem solved.

What happened:

1. Lower drawbridge
2. HEY GUYS LET'S GO RELOAD THE TRAPS!
3. ALL RIGHT WE GOT SOMETHING LET'S GO GET ITS ROTTEN BODY AND EAT IT!
4. DOZEN DWARF BUMRUSH ALL RIGHT GUYS DEAD CRUNDLES EVERYBODY GET YOU ONE
5. Special Forces scramble to kill first wave of crundles, then hunt down remaining crundles into far corners of cavern while regular dwarves FIGHT EACH OTHER FOR THE RIGHT TO GRAB CRUNDLE TOES LEFT BEHIND IN THE WAKE OF BLOOD
6. Elf trading caravan shows up
7. Rapid Building Team scrambles to disconnect the fortress from the cavern as Special Fortress retreat
8. Rapid Building Team walls itself into cavern disconnected from fortress
9. Rapid Building Team becomes Rapid Demolition Team
10. Elf caravan gets its shit torn up by 6-man goblin ambush with bows
11. Civilians rush to seal the main gate as the War Jaguar guarding the entrance is picked off by goblin archers
12. Elf caravan leader flees across countryside from pursuing goblins, streaking blood for a solid mile until finally being cut down
13. Problems multiplied, fortress completely locked down, surrounding countryside strewn with limbs and blood of various and indeterminate origins

[Josiwe]

Incredible.

What was supposed to happen:

1. Lower Drawbridge
2. Special Forces Dwarves wait for crundle invasion with labyrinth full of spike traps
3. Crundles rush across drawbridge, slaughtered en masse
4. Destroy connection to cavern until exploratory forces are prepared
5. Problem solved.

What happened:

1. Lower drawbridge
2. HEY GUYS LET'S GO RELOAD THE TRAPS!
3. ALL RIGHT WE GOT SOMETHING LET'S GO GET ITS ROTTEN BODY AND EAT IT!
4. DOZEN DWARF BUMRUSH ALL RIGHT GUYS DEAD CRUNDLES EVERYBODY GET YOU ONE
5. Special Forces scramble to kill first wave of crundles, then hunt down remaining crundles into far corners of cavern while regular dwarves FIGHT EACH OTHER FOR THE RIGHT TO GRAB CRUNDLE TOES LEFT BEHIND IN THE WAKE OF BLOOD
6. Elf trading caravan shows up
7. Rapid Building Team scrambles to disconnect the fortress from the cavern as Special Fortress retreat
8. Rapid Building Team walls itself into cavern disconnected from fortress
9. Rapid Building Team becomes Rapid Demolition Team
10. Elf caravan gets its shit torn up by 6-man goblin ambush with bows
11. Civilians rush to seal the main gate as the War Jaguar guarding the entrance is picked off by goblin archers
12. Elf caravan leader flees across countryside from pursuing goblins, streaking blood for a solid mile until finally being cut down
13. Problems multiplied, fortress completely locked down, surrounding countryside strewn with limbs and blood of various and indeterminate origins

SLAVES TO ARMOK: GOD OF BLOOD
CHAPTER II: DWARF FORTRESS

[FZE]

SLAVES TO ARMOK: GOD OF BLOOD
CHAPTER II: DWARF FORTRESS

Long may it live.

[Oglokoog]

Incredible.

What was supposed to happen:

1. Lower Drawbridge
2. Special Forces Dwarves wait for crundle invasion with labyrinth full of spike traps
3. Crundles rush across drawbridge, slaughtered en masse
4. Destroy connection to cavern until exploratory forces are prepared
5. Problem solved.

What happened:

1. Lower drawbridge
2. HEY GUYS LET'S GO RELOAD THE TRAPS!
3. ALL RIGHT WE GOT SOMETHING LET'S GO GET ITS ROTTEN BODY AND EAT IT!
4. DOZEN DWARF BUMRUSH ALL RIGHT GUYS DEAD CRUNDLES EVERYBODY GET YOU ONE
5. Special Forces scramble to kill first wave of crundles, then hunt down remaining crundles into far corners of cavern while regular dwarves FIGHT EACH OTHER FOR THE RIGHT TO GRAB CRUNDLE TOES LEFT BEHIND IN THE WAKE OF BLOOD
6. Elf trading caravan shows up
7. Rapid Building Team scrambles to disconnect the fortress from the cavern as Special Fortress retreat
8. Rapid Building Team walls itself into cavern disconnected from fortress
9. Rapid Building Team becomes Rapid Demolition Team
10. Elf caravan gets its shit torn up by 6-man goblin ambush with bows
11. Civilians rush to seal the main gate as the War Jaguar guarding the entrance is picked off by goblin archers
12. Elf caravan leader flees across countryside from pursuing goblins, streaking blood for a solid mile until finally being cut down
13. Problems multiplied, fortress completely locked down, surrounding countryside strewn with limbs and blood of various and indeterminate origins

I know this is how pretty much every other event goes in DF, and I've had more hilarious things happen to me, but for some reason I laughed out loud while reading this

[FZE]

Now here's my next question: After I deal with the goblins, how do I loot what the caravan left behind?A bunch of their stuff is still at the depot, marked for trade when I [t] the depot.

[LordSlowpoke]

Someone must have warned them about stairs, bro.

I just had a flash of over 300 images supposedly made in MSpaint.
Damn you.

[Shrike]

Deconstruct the depot. That'll spread all the goods around the area.

[FZE]

Oh my dwarves actually answered that question for me, they didn't even wait for the hail of arrows to stop before they all chyeaarged out to grab some elven loot. Somehow I'm both proud and disappointed.

[Aspgren]

I've noticed in some animals that when one of them gets caught in a trap the others just hang around it and go "wtf man"

They move in packs. Packs stick together. If the pack has a "head" then he is likely the first one into the trap ... and so they just hang around and don't even know that dwarves are up those stairs.

[Niveras]

Not just animals. Ambush squads do the same.

Once something comes around to scare them off (in the case of animals) or for them to attack (some animals, goblins) they'll run around appropriately, then go back to hanging around the cage if there's nothing nearby to fight.

[Corona688]

They move in packs. Packs stick together. If the pack has a "head" then he is likely the first one into the trap ... and so they just hang around and don't even know that dwarves are up those stairs.

I don't think animals have psychic pathing the way megabeasts and invaders do.  If they see people they'll follow them, up stairs or whatever, but otherwise, they've got no particular reason to go up those stairs.  I do think they try to path to the map edge sometimes.