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[eerr]

If you have much less respect for Mormons than the cookie monster, Tell them you joined satanism because they promised to get the mormons off your back.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(Don't do this unless you REALLY want the Mormons to spam you! Theres more than enough of them to plan this part out too.)

[Jimmy]

As a matter of fact, I DO happen to respect the Cookie Monster more than the Mormons.

But that's simply because I really REALLY respect the Cookie Monster.

And I won't be joining Satanism because I'm not religious.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Say you're a devout Catholic. That normally scares off all missionaries. Bonus points if you make a little shrine to the Pope and Mary in clear view of the front door.

[Ultimuh]

VERY loud music might also help?
Might hurt your own eardrums and might get complaints from neighbours.

But I never had JW or mormon visits myself.. Then again.. I live in Greenland..
Tough I have heard of JWs here tough, or some other group..
but never had anyone like that visit me personally..


On a side-note, yes, I am a christian, maybe that's a reason..

[Jack_Bread]

Yell at them and insult them.
That's what my mom did and now they just completely avoid us.

[Jimmy]

If you do that you're no different to people who insult homosexuals, black people or muslims.

[ChairmanPoo]

Just dont open the door. Or simply tell them to go away.

There was this time, when I was at a student flat, where I accidentally opened the door to two mormons. They asked "Good afternoon. Could we speak to the Lord of the House?". I answered "Sure, wait a minute", and went to the kitchen, where one of my flatmates was having a snack, and told him that some people were asking for him at the door...

[sonerohi]

Buy dogs. 5000 of them.

[Heron TSG]

So far the sign has worked, but I'll wait to see it it lasts.

I wonder if they thought the 'lord of the house' was their Yahweh? If so, that would be a totally righteous surprise right there.

[Acanthus117]

Attempt to convert them to Emperor worship. Give them a copy of The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer or something.

I support this idea wholeheartedly.

[Volatar]

I was thinking, and I realized I had already been using a 100% foolproof way to make the JW's turn right around and walk away.

Next time JW's come to your door, tell them your Mormon. It always works.

Say you're a devout Catholic. That normally scares off all missionaries. Bonus points if you make a little shrine to the Pope and Mary in clear view of the front door.

That may work with many missionaries, but there are plenty of Mormon ones that will still try your door.

Plus, you won't be able to hold your ground in an argument with them, as you don't know what the heck your talking about 

[Frelock]

Say you're a devout Catholic. That normally scares off all missionaries. Bonus points if you make a little shrine to the Pope and Mary in clear view of the front door.

Plus, you won't be able to hold your ground in an argument with them, as you don't know what the heck your talking about 

It's simple.  If you don't know anything about Catholicism, just say "The Pope's always right."  Bingo, instant Catholic.  It's probably what their opinion of Papists is, anyway.

On a side note: I am Catholic, so I can confidently say that the true answer is: "The Pope's always right because he has the awesome hat."

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Also mention transubstantiation and how awesome saints are. If they keep going, say your name is Seamus O'Malley or something. Irish Catholics are the very definition of immovable force if my nan is anything to go by.

[Dakk]

I scare off eventual jehovah witnesses by claiming I'm a scientologist. It works everytime.

[Labs]

Get a doghouse, paint the name Lucifer over the opening and a pentagram on the roof. Should keep those nasty missionaries away.