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[NUKE9.13]

ADVENTURE PEASANT

FUCK YEAH

FEATURING:
-BLATANTLY LAZY 'ART'
-BLATANTLY LAZY EVERYTHING ELSE
-LUDICROUSNESS
-RULES APPLIED WITH ARBITRARY STRICTNESS
-PEASANTS
-ADVENTURE
-Help I am trapped in this guy's basement
-AND MUCH MORE!

ARE YOU MAN, WOMAN, OR OTHER ENOUGH TO JOIN?
THREE APPLICANTS WILL BE ACCEPTED
ALL CAPS POSTS ARE NOT REQUIRED!

HOLY SHIT
A WAITING LIST
-tombthedwarf
-NRN_R_Sumo1
-Renault
-Archangel
-Ottofar
-Halmie
-Spartan117
-Demonic Spoon
-Armok? Maybe?
-BACKSTABBING TRAITOR, TAINT OF THE EARTH, MURDERER OF INNOCENT BYSTANDERS

HIGH SCORES:
HAIKA:
Died in 5 turns. Did some sweet stuff, but negated it by getting killed pretty fast.
Last Words: heh, well that ended rather blegh.
SCORE: 3

NUKE9.13 and affiliates do not guarantee explosions

[SHAD0Wdump]

I'll join as a newt, I may or may not get better...

[Haika]

Why not, sign me up as an animated garden hose, with spray gun attachment.

[ExKirby]

In.

[NUKE9.13]

Roit then. Note to self: Holy moly size down them images. There's little enough to see anyway, without you spreading it all over the place.


PEASANTIA
THE HUMAN TOWN OF REGIT
WEDENESDAY
JUST BEFORE LUNCH

Shadow, Haika, and ExKirby are rudely dragged from their shacks to the palace in the center of town. They now stand in an empty hall awaiting the president's attention.

The guy on the left is Shadow. Middle man is Haika. Square-eyes is ExKirby.
After standing perfectly still doing absolutely nothing for an indeterminate period of time, a second guard, indistinguishable from the guard guarding you, summons you forth to the SHAPED OFFICE. The PRESIDENT addresses you within;

"You! Peasants! Get to work!
These letters to my dear friend, the DIRECTOR of the INSANE ASYLUM will not deliver themselves!
You may ask why I have tasked three of you to perform this simple task. However, if you do so, you will be executed!
Nevertheless; the reason is that you peasants are so worthless that even such a simple task is a titanic effort to you. But if my predecessor taught me anything, it's that throwing enough peasants blindly at a problem will make it go away!
Now take a copy of this letter each and TEN COPPER PIECES and take the road NORTH out of town until you reach the ASYLUM. You can't miss it!"

A guard hands you a letter and a pile of coins each.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The adress on the letter reads 'S.H.Template, Director's Office, The Insane Asylum, Peasantia' Beneath it is an Email adress; 'SHTDir@InsaneRelay.PT' ((You can click that, and probably even send an email to it, but nothing will happen. It's just automatic thingamajiging))

These coins are not very shiny. But hot damn, this is more than you would earn in thirty years, by which you mean, your entire life!

Statuses:

Shadow: A-ok

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)

-Letter
-10 copper coins (not shiny)
-6 free spaces
Equipped:
-Rags

In the shaped office, the palace, Regit, Peasantia.

Haika: Feelin fine

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)

-Letter
-10 copper coins (not shiny)
-6 free spaces
Equipped:
-Rags

In the shaped office, the palace, Regit, Peasantia.

ExKirby: HEALTHY

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)

-Letter
-10 copper coins (not shiny)
-6 free spaces
Equipped:
-Rags

In the shaped office, the palace, Regit, Peasantia.

>What do you do now?_

[ExKirby]

Find a church.

[Haika]

wonder why I'm suddenly a peasant and not my moisture spewing lengthy self.

Then go buy a wench with my coinage.

[SHAD0Wdump]

Crawl out of the building like a newt.

[ExKirby]

Laugh at my companions while looking for a church.

[Cheddarius]

Watching.

[NUKE9.13]

ROARSOMESAUCE. Fact: Ants are awesome

Find a church.

You knows of two locations in Regit that could be called churches, but the shrine probably doesn't really count. So, off to the church with the pointy orange roof!
Wielding a copper coin to indicate that, despite appearance and smell, he is not a mere peasant, he walks in.

A... priest? in an orange shirt welcomes you.
"Uh, Hey?
Welcome to the church of Reely?
Apparently Reely is also known as Reely the vaguely puzzled? On account of his constant bemused expression, and unquenchable thirst for knowledge?
Reelyites tend to ask questions a lot? Sometimes Reely helps them get answers, they say?
Um, would you like to join the church?
And, how come you have money, peasant?
And why are your eyes all funny?
Why are you so tall?"

>_

Crawl out of the building like a newt.

The guards pay you no attention because you are only a peasant.
You have gotten dusty from crawling over the floor.

>_

Then go buy a wench with my coinage.

You head off for the store.

You ask the shopkeeper if he has a wench.
"I am the sane shopkeeper", he replies.
"Alone amongst my colleagues, I have no kooky quirks or amusing anecdotes. My life is free of irregularity that defines those of the insane man. Though the world besieges me constantly with enough craziness to turn lesser men mental, I have erected defences against such baleful influences.
To continue idle conversation, say 'one'.
To purchase items or receive more information, say 'two', followed by the name of the object in question and 'purchase' or 'information'.
To talk about something else, say 'three'
To end conversation, say 'Goodbye' "

>_



Statuses:

Shadow: Slightly dusty

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)

-Letter
-10 copper coins (not shiny)
-6 free spaces
Equipped:
-Rags

Just outside the palace, Regit, Peasantia.

Haika: Feelin fine

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)

-Letter
-9 copper coins (not shiny)
-6 free spaces
Equipped:
-Rags
-one copper coin (right hand)

In the Sane Shopkeeper's Store, Regit, Peasantia.

ExKirby: HEALTHY

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)

-Letter
-10 copper coins (not shiny)
-6 free spaces
Equipped:
-Rags

In the church of Reely, Regit, Peasantia.

[IronyOwl]

The main panel in the church picture amused me greatly for some reason. Probably the deity's expression.

[Ultimuh]

Only THREE people? Darn.. well.. if someone dies.. is that it?
Or.. care to PM me when it happens incase you need fo fill up empty spots?


Then again.. I can just sit here, read updates and stuff.. *sigh*

[NUKE9.13]

Only THREE people? Darn.. well.. if someone dies.. is that it?
Or.. care to PM me when it happens incase you need fo fill up empty spots?


Then again.. I can just sit here, read updates and stuff.. *sigh*

Adventure Peasant: World of Suffrage does not copy nigh every aspect of Peasant Adventure: World of Suffering, and any suggestions that it does is slander and will* be dealt with to the fullest extent of the law.
However one might point out that, in certain aspects, viz, the replacement of dead peasants with fresh peasants (and thus players), is remarkably similar, yet more evidence of, eg, great minds thinking alike and/or parallel evolution.
Also the mortality rate, once these bunch of pansies** quit stalling and get down to business, is probably*** going to be remarkably high.

*will not
**The game has started! Why is nothing on fire yet? >:|
***Definitely

[ExKirby]

You mucked up the statuses. I'm the one at the church.

I declare my self a member of the church, or should I? Why was I selected to be a member of this meaningless quest? Why am I using so many questions? It raises my favor with Reely, right?