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Author Topic: The Dwarves' Creed  (Read 809 times)

KillHour

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The Dwarves' Creed
« on: February 24, 2010, 10:58:44 pm »

I believe in Armok, God of Blood, Forger of Iron and Steel.
I believe in the Dwarves, his only Sons and Daughters.
They were conceived by the power of the Blood God and born of the Earth.
They suffered under Elven oppression, forced to work in the sun.
They descended into the Earth.  On the third Felsite they rose again, wielding masterwork Adamantine hammers.
They exacted their revenge and are seated deep in the Mountainhomes.
They will come again in glory, to kill the Goblins and Elves.
I believe in Adamantine,
the Demons that guard it,
the communion of champions,
the purging of the Depths,
the clear-cutting of forests,
and Artifacts everlasting.
Atol

Keep it up, Toady!
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Capntastic

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Re: The Dwarves' Creed
« Reply #1 on: February 25, 2010, 12:29:33 am »

Demons don't guard the adamantine, it seals them in.
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Blargityblarg

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Re: The Dwarves' Creed
« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2010, 12:35:40 am »

I think that's fairly open to interpretation. There's a thread over in Suggestions, IIRC, that has a whole bunch of ideas.
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Flaede

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Re: The Dwarves' Creed
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2010, 02:25:55 am »

also, somehow, you have forgotten magma. I smell a schism in the offing.
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Toady typically doesn't do things by half measures.  As evidenced by turning "make hauling work better" into "implement mine carts with physics".
There are many issues with this statement.
[/quote]

Urist McCyrilin

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Re: The Dwarves' Creed
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2010, 02:48:58 am »

also, somehow, you have forgotten magma. I smell a schism in the offing.
Magma needs to go ahead and die. It's being overused.
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The Eviscerator of Gods

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Re: The Dwarves' Creed
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2010, 02:50:34 am »

The Dwarves' Creed
By Gafgaffow McCracken, Jr.

The dwarven assassin Urist Altarair crept into the bedroom of the noble Urist Sandaxes the Bridge of Angels, the noble who one week ago mandated the construction of 300 Adamantium socks, unaware that no such metal exists and he had misspelled adamantine on hos order and no one thought to correct him, not even his concubine Urist Pukevomits, the king Urist Fecesshoots didn't care as long as he got to eat in his legendary dining room.

Urist lept onto the noble's bed and tore out his throat with his bare teeth, then the noble Urist began to speak. "I only wanted the socks made because my poor fellow dwarves were cutting their feet on the glass and metal shards that covered the floors, I had only good attentions GURGLURGLEGURLGURGLEBLEEECH" he said as blood poured out from the gaping hole in his throat. "Adamantium doesn't exist here, it is thing Wolverine's bones are made from, it's only similarity to Adamantine is it's name and nigh unbreakable hardness, and Urist Anusangels said you wanted them to for poopsocks"" Urist mumbled as he lapped up noble Urist's blood like the cats who were beginning to gather. "You could of just told me and I would of corrected it like that, I only w HUGLRGRUGLEGURLEBLAARRRRGGHHH!" the noble then died before he could finish, Urist was confused and questioning his loyalties. "Oh no I may of killed an innocent man, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO TO TRUST ANYMORE!".

The End
« Last Edit: February 25, 2010, 02:52:59 am by The Eviscerator of Gods »
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Dabi

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Re: The Dwarves' Creed
« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2010, 04:50:54 am »

also, somehow, you have forgotten magma. I smell a schism in the offing.
Magma needs to go ahead and die. It's being overused.
Magma is the answer to all who wouldn't use it?
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If a elf dies in a forest and only dwarfs are around to see it does anyone care?

Flaede

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Re: The Dwarves' Creed
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2010, 04:51:48 am »

also, somehow, you have forgotten magma. I smell a schism in the offing.
Magma needs to go ahead and die. It's being overused.
Magma is the answer to all who wouldn't use it?
see, this is why I predicted a schism. Nothing to do with my own preferences.
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Toady typically doesn't do things by half measures.  As evidenced by turning "make hauling work better" into "implement mine carts with physics".
There are many issues with this statement.
[/quote]