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[Loud Whispers]

Ah Vec & Lem, the things we endure for the sake of family. I reminded my fam that you can choose your family; it isn't something to be taken for granted. Though I think that'll mean different things for either of you - wishing you both the best

[scriver]

-

...When you're so divorced from your own culture (or maybe lost in a lot narrative?) you don't know 98% of all lintotts turn brown with age...

edit: forgot about the quote thing. Again. Sorry Vec

[McTraveller]

Again I must say that I'm sad that people have ruined perfectly good words like 'evangelical' - they've turned it into a terrible thing, when the word has much better original meaning.

[TD1]

What's a lintott?

Was the hair thing because you dyed it?

As for family, there's a reason 'found family' is such a popular narrative trope.

The good thing is that it's true. You can find your own family.

[dragdeler]

a

[scriver]

A lintott ("lin-tott" -- lin meaning flax/linen, tott meaning kinda like "tuft, wad, small piece/gathering of", it's a word for the pre-spun tufts of flax-cum-linen that you spin into linen thread) is a cutesy-use word for young children with bright blonde hair, comparing them to said tufts of flax/linen. Or perhaps the tott is a cognate to the English word "tot" and the use for the small tufts of flax-linen is a reference to small children's hair colour.

Basically 99% of all Swedes have bright blonde hair as young children which then for maybe 90% of us darkens to become brown by our teenage years, probably during the span of between age 6-12 or something. As such it's expected for us to grow out of blondeness and blondeness is mainly associated with childishness and naivety. Now V's family is German but I'm assuming it's the same in the surrounding ethnicities regarding childhood blondeness at least.

Spoiler: Illustration of my own hair at pre-school vs maybe 12-14 (click to show/hide)

Those numbers are all completely emotive by the way and not fact based in the least.

[dragdeler]

a

[Vector]

I didn't dye my hair, my step-grandmother is on record claiming that everyone with dyed hair (whether of natural or unnatural colors) should be deported . . .

Fascism is a hell of a drug.


My hair was bright yellow-blonde up until about age 3, then slowly turned dark reddish brown. It's darker than "chatain" and naturally curly to boot!

[dragdeler]

a

[Loud Whispers]

Talk about a do or dye attitude

[hector13]

I also had the super-blonde youth, and now have brown hair, with a bit of a red sheen if I let my beard grow out.

I am on board with being able to choose your family, though it takes a great deal of effort and probably a lot dealing with shame too, even if the shake is a bit stupid. There shouldn’t be anything special about cutting off an unhealthy relationship just because you share a greater portion of DNA with someone.

I don’t speak to my dad as he is selfish to the point of being utterly horrible to his nearest and dearest so he can get what he wants. I realized recently, years after the fact, that he attempted to bribe my sister and I to say we wanted to move house so he could lock my mother - with whom he had reconciled at the time, thankfully a short-lived madness on my her part - into a financial obligation with him so it would be harder for her to leave again.

[delphonso]

I had light brown, near-blonde hair as a wee lad, but by 8, it had turned dark dark brown. My sister, on the other hand, went from brownish-red to a lighter shade of red. Makes me wonder how much my daughter's hair will shift.

Odd note, my mustache is more of that same blondish-brown than my hair. One of the reasons I don't grow it out.

Again I must say that I'm sad that people have ruined perfectly good words like 'evangelical' - they've turned it into a terrible thing, when the word has much better original meaning.

Christianity should be way cooler than it is. I mean, their primary symbol is a method of execution. Pretty fuckin' metal.

[King Zultan]

My hair also started out blond and turned bark brown.

Speaking of hair is it unusual that my hair is dark brown, mustache is a sort of blond, and the beard is a dark red.

[femmelf]

If it helps, my family is insane too, so I kinda relate. She must hate salons if hair dye somehow = deportation, to ... unclear destination.

From the gay friends I have (several here too), don't ask don't tell basically failed cause nosy straight people wouldn't stop asking. Also cause it was none of their business and less than an ideal policy. I like the way one of them whose name begins with T said it, "DATD failed cause morons asked. They screwed up a four word idiot proof law. We should've called it 'STFU (Shut the F*** Up), this means you. Everybody.'" I can totally understand wanting some family comfort around the holidays. I kinda friend gathered some nice gay friends who can't go home for that this year. All vaxxed and several if not almost all of them healthcare workers (Love our "gay boi" nurses:)  ). It was great. Boyfriend has since chilled out and warmed up to having the gays around too (took him a bit but actual progress).

I hope your family can chill out, but I understand that's not always possible. Alternatively, I hope you find some peace with family of choice. My hair was lighter as a kid and now I'm a much darker shade brunette. I'm afraid to ask where she thinks I should go. Does shade hair color count? Is the distance deported proportional to the change in hair color? How do highlights and low lights factor in? So many questions jumping around my lunch break mind. So few answers.

Hang in there.

[Rose]

Heh, yeah, I was also blonde until I turned three and then it darkened over a couple years till it turned black.

Amusingly, my mom is also against dyeing, but more because she's against girls trying to look pretty in general.