Anxiety dream. Woke up 9:28am. Writing it began 10:13am. Me noticing the small important details getting 'grained' over by the sands of sleep at around 10:15. Anxiety lasted around half or so an hour with nice focusing on breathing. Checked the time between doing things and recovering from the feelings at 9:48. Got out of bed at 10:11.
And I've written only two pages of thoughts :<
Semi-related Sad: my phone's battery fell out and now the date is showing as the first day of 2015. Man, if only I could actually travel back to that point of time and, y'know, not completely ruin the few good aspects of my life.
If you didn't ruin them, you probably wouldn't have learned their true value to you. You'd not have grown the same way, and gained the same perspective you have now.
But yeah, like TBF said, look forward. Life continues. Make new good places to be, and kindle new good things for yourself. You deserve it.
Thiiiis. Big point here--what you think about it can give much insight when there's either feedback, or when you re-assess it. There's just a lot that's happening when you do it that one might easily miss what had happened in the cognitive mechanisms of the mind, and rather see what the mental eye is focused on.
Because life is a continuum. Your aspects are always growing. There were 'decidedly good times' probably in the past; that doesn't mean any "decline" to where you are now has you in a worse situation; it can more be that it's working with what had happened gradually over time, over so many experiences. There's always a way to proceed with it that aligns with both one's expectations and a better idea of it all.