Today I got a lecture about how I need to work on my communication skills, because my mom forgot to tell me I had to pick my sister up from basketball. (Which I did anyways, just a few minutes late) When I told her she should try actually telling me what she wants me to do she laughed at me and told me "I've been communicating wrong my whole life, you can't expect me to change!"
Thanks mom.
o_o
I think I can relate...
Because that really reminded me of how my mom is. Or at least certain aspects of her. ._. She's...
abrasive when she's stressy or moody or worrying, and the last time I brought up the topic of 'why do you do {x} when {better alternative} is present?', she tells me it's how she works with stress and worrying and a general 'that's how I am' (which means more on 'that's what I learned :/' to be honest-in-context). In a way that was worded as "I hurt people when I'm {moody}" in a matter-of-fact tone.
Which helped me because it gave me an idea of why they say how they say things. Though there is a difference between what is said, and what is contemplated. Many things can be said based on mood, stress, pressure, and the general weather of the day affecting you. (eg She's said...things to me in the past that really hurt even if I tried to find context on why she'd say that, but I'd not wish for my words here to be taken as if it's imposing or something, just what I mean is to try looking at it in a different perspective to help.)
I think being constructive in the face of adversity may be best, Kal. :O Personally, that's how I coped with whatever familial stuffs that came by on my end. In my context, my mom's nearing her 70's, and as explained by my dad--age is also a matter, in which it's also pertaining to behavior too. People may stick with how they learned to communicate if it was not really mentioned how the impact of what they say, works out. Fully agreeing with working on your communication skills, because that's
what you have control of; we can't control other people's lives, but we can influence them by our own actions or in how we communicate with them.
Don't take it too badly, though apologies ahead if I seem to be diluting anything in a bad way, but how I see it--if someone is able to give something constructive and then mention something at their own expense, the meaning must be sought after instead of whatever else may be perceived...in the long-run. It's reasonable that it may hurt your idea of them, or invoke any sad feelings because of a multitude of reasons considering what they said being a polar opposite of an expectation than what generally is, and that's where deeper meaning is generally sought after. It's gonna hurt your growth if the same perception is going to stick though, but if that perception is used in a constructive way, it can become something beneficial.
In a way, it's also asking you, or whomever is younger and such,
to be able to correct/aid them in the long-run because of many factors; most of all being that you're pretty malleable and more able to branch out, context-wise. Maybe she's also telling you that if you work with your communication skills, you'll be able to silently and personally notice what's going on around you--how people act and such, or why they mention some things in such a way, then be able to
help them by communicating in a way that they will listen to. (eg People were very able to communicate with me when I was
very tense and anxiety-ing in situations, by using a calm voice and giving positive support, since that's what I can work with best. It's context-dependent on the person).
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9443683 times)