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[Gamerlord]

Can't use that right now. 

[Rose]

http://mibbit.com/#bay12lb@irc.darkmyst.org

[Gamerlord]

YAY. Thanks Japa!

[Vector]

Yeah, okay, here's what I'm actually upset about.

My parents visited a couple of days ago.  I said I was upset because I felt like I was getting fat.  My dad quietly said "Well. . . not very fat. . ."  My mom said: "Well. . . you're a respectable weight. . ."

Yeah, no, it's not like they tell me I'm pretty anymore.  That stops happening when I eat enough that I never feel faint during the day.

This was after I told him all about a really cool idea I had and my parents couldn't stop "laughing with" me long enough to get the idea out, or kept on telling me all about how this was ~totally a rip-off of [insert famous popular thing here]~ and the main character was actually a self-insertionist fantasy.  And they just wouldn't stop, even after I kept asking them to, and even after my mom told my dad multiple times that "No, dear, you don't mean anything by that, you're just making noise not sense."  He just kept on going.  Of course it was his birthday celebration so I didn't have any ability to do anything.

Anyway I'm really unhappy about those two things and on top of that another friend abandoned me after a whole lot of putting up with his shit, and I don't have anyone IRL to talk to anymore at the moment because that was my last close friend around here.

[Gamerlord]

Okay...
One. Whack your dad upside the head. He's acting like a prat.
Two. Have a sitdown with your mum AWAY from your dad and talk to her one-on-one.
Three. If that friend abandoned you, screw him. He's an ass.

[Vector]

Dad's not going to change.  Every time he comes back from going away it's pretty much a hard reset on any sort of decency he developed while he was here.  His dad abandoned him so he's abandoning me.  End of story.  I'm not having kids.  Occasionally consider giving up on partnering, too.

Mom makes excuses for him.  We've had lots and lots of sit-down talks.

Friend is an ass, yeah, but now I'm lonely and I don't want to cope with this shit anymore right now.  Feels like I'm coming down with something.

[Gamerlord]

Only thing I can say about your dad is to give him an ultimatum. Shape up or shove off. It's worked for me in the past; when my parents were too hard on me, putting way too much pressure on me, I sat them down and explained very calmly and extensively that if they didn't stop when I left home I would cut all ties and it would be as though they never existed for me. It's a bit... extreme, but for me it worked.

[Vector]

Nope.  He'll just dig in.

He's been told over and over and over again "You're screwing up!  You're screwing up your relationship with your only child!  You're really fucking up, here!" and it doesn't do any good.

[Yoink]

I had some long, interesting dream(s) last night and then forgot it all because I was woken up.
I was gonna put this in the Rage thread but it works here too.

[Gamerlord]

Nope.  He'll just dig in.

He's been told over and over and over again "You're screwing up!  You're screwing up your relationship with your only child!  You're really fucking up, here!" and it doesn't do any good.

Then you need to go through with it. Cut off all contact with him but not your mother. Ignore him when he tries to speak to you. Act as though he does not exist and never has existed.

[Vector]

That's a really good way to make my relationship with my mom a living hell, who suffered immense abuse at the hands of her parents and as a result has serious attachment anxiety.  She literally hasn't made any friends since high school and has no one but family.

So yeah.  No thanks.  Playing the short game won't win this for me. . . only the long game has a chance.

[Xantalos]

Hmm. Well, good luck then.

[Gamerlord]

I never said cut it off with your mother. Visit her, tell her you love her, do whatever, Just don't acknoweldge your father in any way.

[Vector]

She will not let me get away with that.  My blood pressure is rising just thinking about it.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

If your relationship with them is toxic, you have no obligation to maintain it for their sakes.