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[sonerohi]

I'm an Aspy and dear Jesus can panic attacks be bad. I can be talking to people and completely out of it, and all of the sudden it is like struggling to do social tasks. It is like when you think about a free throw too hard during basketball. I just can't breathe properly, and my eyes lock on something, while my brain keeps going "holy shit holy shit holy shit" without actually progressing through to anywhere. I have a heart condition that fudges with my oxygen supply, so if I don't sit down and breathe right I just up and pass out. I've got a few really close friends that I've told this too and they always watch out for me when they can.

Speaking of friends, Aspergers is a nightmare there. I've been getting better and better as I become more aware and better at undermining my own sabotage, but it is still difficult to make and keep friends. I know, in my head, as definitive fact, that my friends are very close to me, and I can trust them, and I'm close to them, and they trust me, etc. but it is really hard to feel that sometimes. It is weird and contradictory description, but no matter how strongly I feel something, I don't always feel it. Like, sometimes stuff syncs up where I'm happy and I feel happy, and other times I feel, inside, very sad, but on the outside I'm acting like an entirely different emotion by reflex, even though I'm screaming at myself to show how I feel.

[Angel Of Death]

I'm begining to believe Toady's moderation is questionable...

 

[fqllve]

What? Why?

[Angel Of Death]

I really don't know. It's just a feeling that something's fishy about it.

[Criptfeind]

If you have issues about it, why don't you start a thread to talk about it in?

[Vector]

Unfortunately, we have a temple gong.  My father keeps on banging it whenever he comes home.  The rules are that it can be struck once only at a time, maybe twice, because it sets me off.  He just came and hit it about ten, fifteen times.

Ugh.  Fuck.

I'm so glad my mom told him to stop when she saw that I was having problems.


Also, in other news, I think I may have to promise that I will never use the word "properly," ever, because it makes me angry.  I should also stop frequenting a certain forum, since it's very small and I get tired of hearing the other girls talk about their boyfriends.  As Rosewood said, it's too early for me to think about things like that... because for goodness' sakes, I don't even have IRL friends to improve life =/

I think this is just one of those days where one says "well, this is terrible" and tries to improve it a little, ounce by ounce.

[Angel Of Death]

If you have issues about it, why don't you start a thread to talk about it in?

I think it'll start a flamewar.

[Tellemurius]

I really don't know. It's just a feeling that something's fishy about it.

You realize the thread you're talking about is appalling to nature right?

[Angel Of Death]

I really don't know. It's just a feeling that something's fishy about it.

You realize the thread you're talking about is appalling to nature right?

What thread?

[Tellemurius]

*sigh*

Cock-fighting Thread, for godsakes these animals fight naturally but for humans to force this upon them is appalling. Yes Kittens are tortured in DF but not DIRECTLY.

[fqllve]

If you have issues about it, why don't you start a thread to talk about it in?

I think it'll start a flamewar.

But then you're risking starting a flamewar in this thread, whose OP is not active anymore. Also, we basically just had that thread and it didn't start a flamewar.

[Angel Of Death]

*sigh*

Cock-fighting Thread, for godsakes these animals fight naturally but for humans to force this upon them is appalling. Yes Kittens are tortured in DF but not DIRECTLY.

I wasn't questioning Toady's moderation because of the cockfighting thread.

[Max White]

I think it'll start a flamewar.

Better a flamewar localised into a single thread that had no other reason for existence, then another thread that has become heritage on our forums, or even worse, several threads.

Edit: Ninj'd. Darn it!

[Tellemurius]

*sigh*

Cock-fighting Thread, for godsakes these animals fight naturally but for humans to force this upon them is appalling. Yes Kittens are tortured in DF but not DIRECTLY.

I wasn't questioning Toady's moderation because of the cockfighting thread.

How am i not to assume that as you're talking about it in the happy thread.

[MaximumZero]

[re-rail] I was just urinated on. 

Ah, the joys of potty training. Can't be too mad, it's not like she could help it.