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[Acanthus117]

FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

[Vector]

Feeling conflicted.  I'll figure it out pretty soon, but I'd say that "conflicted" is one of my least favorite emotions (right under "depressed" and "being consumed by wombats").

Just gotta draw some graphs and maximize that utility, dudes.  Or maybe, this is another matter that really just needs time... but to mollify my inner optimizer, I'll draw some graphs anyway.  I hate being patient.  I'd rather just go out and do something and have it be the right time to do it, at a moment when I know exactly what I want and what the outcome will be.  I'm a bit of a control freak.


What really saddens me is that when it comes to matters of the heart, I get an inexplicable desire to draw flowcharts.

[Jackrabbit]

What really saddens me is that when it comes to matters of the heart, I get an inexplicable desire to draw flowcharts.

Don't we all?

Wow I never thought I'd say that seriously.

[Shades]

What really saddens me is that when it comes to matters of the heart, I get an inexplicable desire to draw flowcharts.

http://xkcd.com/701/
Not a flowchart I realise, but still a chart and also matters of the heart.

[ein]

Feeling conflicted.  I'll figure it out pretty soon, but I'd say that "conflicted" is one of my least favorite emotions (right under "depressed" and "being consumed by wombats").

Just gotta draw some graphs and maximize that utility, dudes.  Or maybe, this is another matter that really just needs time... but to mollify my inner optimizer, I'll draw some graphs anyway.  I hate being patient.  I'd rather just go out and do something and have it be the right time to do it, at a moment when I know exactly what I want and what the outcome will be.  I'm a bit of a control freak.


What really saddens me is that when it comes to matters of the heart, I get an inexplicable desire to draw flowcharts.

I always draw graphs and flowcharts.
They're great ways to relieve stress.

Also, I once made a heart on my graphing calculator.
I forget the equation and window settings now, but it was pretty awesome when I pulled it off.

[Solifuge]

So, it seems that I won't have the finances to go to college this fall. Even if I went into crazy student loan debt, I wouldn't be able to attend the first year, let alone the next 3. I was actually planning on taking massive loans but it turns out I can't get enough without dragging my parents into debt which I am not willing to do.

These next few weeks will be basically re-evaluating my life (again!) and trying to find out what I want to do. That's not what is making me sad however, since I'm pretty confident in my ability to stay sane. I'm just sad knowing that my (probably) last chance to be a typical college student is down the drain.

It's been my goal for the past year and a half to get into position to go to Uni and its really hard to have it fall apart at pretty much the last minute.

I've been there, man. And been through it. Worked for 5 years to be able to afford school, and it took that long to realize all the other ways I could have done it. Remember that even if Grants and Loans aren't an option, there are always scholarships, and if you look hard enough for them (a lot of campuses have resources at the Financial Aid office for scholarships) you can pay for your school off of that. It's hard work at times, but it can be done if you've the mind and the drive to do it.

Yes but AFAICT, there are no scholarships for a white male with 2.0 grades. Sigh.

Eduren, you can get a $500 scholarship for building a loft bed... you've not been looking hard enough. Decide if you really want to go to school or not, and use the resources you have, be it the internet, a school counselor, or so on to figure out what to do, and do it. Or you can convince yourself it's impossible, give up, and spend that same energy placating your folks. It is entirely up to you.

Sounds harsh, but them's the breaks. You have options if you're willing to pursue them.

What really saddens me is that when it comes to matters of the heart, I get an inexplicable desire to draw flowcharts.

Hey, it's a tool for understanding things, just like anything else. Some people find comfort in scribing poetry that encapsulates that weird composite of emotions too... so why not a flowchart? That said, and it probably shouldn't be, but that is extremely adorkable.

I tend to ponder indecision using long periods of internal contemplation as I run through various scenarios and choices in my mind... the tricky thing is, it's impossible to know how others react, or even how you'll react after a given series of events, so it never brings me to the end, but it lends some assistance in decision-making. In some matters, though, I try to trust my gut instincts after tempering them with a bit of logical forsight... my gut usually leads me down the best path, at least insofar as what is best for me at the time.

[bjlong]

Tomorrow, two final exams. Today, a headache.

Also, I'm graduating, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. Or whatever.

[Aklyon]

I'm graduating, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. Or whatever.

meh is a good catch-all emotion. Blah also works.

[zchris13]

I'm graduating, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. Or whatever.

meh is a good catch-all emotion. Blah also works.

Personally, I prefer "Ah HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS"

[Eduren]

Eduren, you can get a $500 scholarship for building a loft bed... you've not been looking hard enough. Decide if you really want to go to school or not, and use the resources you have, be it the internet, a school counselor, or so on to figure out what to do, and do it. Or you can convince yourself it's impossible, give up, and spend that same energy placating your folks. It is entirely up to you.

Sounds harsh, but them's the breaks. You have options if you're willing to pursue them.

Thanks.

[ToonyMan]

It's been like a month and Reasonableman hasn't been on Bay12 or Steam, bleh.

[Gunner-Chan]

Steam is a meanie face and doesn't let me on even if my internet is otherwise working. :<

[Solifuge]

I'm pretty personable, but I'm shy by my nature, and rarely find genuinely good friends whom I can really communicate and get along well with. Just as I felt I was finally getting to know my current circle of friends well enough to open up to them, they each reveal that, within about 3 months time, most of them will be moving away for various reasons. Honestly, it's been a motif through my life, that whenever I do find people I genuinely connect with, and finally open up to, they move away. My childhood best friends moved when I was young, and I moved to a new city myself just as I was recovering from that, then just as I was getting to know people in highschool my friends moved far away for college. Last year, my sister, her husband, and my best friend moved hundreds of miles away, and a year later all but 2 of the people I regularly hang out with are moving to other states, or even other countries, for the foreseeable future. They all have good things going for them, and I'm glad... grad school, a military career, a new marriage, a lucrative job overseas, and more... but it's really taking the wind out of my sails. I'm realizing how badly I'm going to miss these people... and though I had some great times with them, hating that I opened up to people once again, just in time to have life scatter them far and wide once more.

One of my friends, with whom I'm just now discovering strikingly similar tastes in music and humor, and with whom I've recently had a very satisfying jam session with, is moving to Korea to be with his new wife. An adventurous and intelligent girl, who I got to know this last weekend and found myself crushing on, and whom I'd have loved a chance to hang out with, apparently is moving to China in a few months. Another friend I've known for years, but whom I've only recently started hanging out with and really getting to know, is moving out west for school at the end of this month. My former roommate, and one of the best friends I've had in a long time, just moved to the west coast not too long back. My current roommate will be moving to Illinois to be with his boyfriend as soon as the current lease is up. My college buddy, who just got back from Iraq, is considering a permanent military career, which will take him far away.

I'm happy for all of them... and I know it isn't a picnic for them either, but I really hate that, whenever I finally build a circle of people who I really get along with, a diaspora like this happens, leaving me alone again. It's probably part of life... but it makes me terribly sad, and somewhat stir-crazy, wanting to follow them too and get away from this place.

[Tack]

My Shogun: Total War disk is scratched!

[Jackrabbit]

My Shogun: Total War disk is scratched!

Why...