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[Solifuge]

From first-hand experience; no, hormones don't make you magically bad at science or academics. I had an adjustment period where I had to get used to mood swing stuff, and get my inner bitch-mode under control, but that was about it.

Mood swings, stress from transitioning, distractions stemming from the coming out and/or transitioning process; all possible contributors to poor grades. One thing I can say, in my case; coming out as genderqueer got me started on reevaluating a lot of things I was doing that weren't important to me. Self discovery of any stripe can do that... and academic or otherwise, that might change a person's priorities.

[Yoink]

Yoink, you can grab your phone and use the wonders of social media to go to one party but be in spirit at the others as well. It might not be polite to use a phone during a conversation, but there are lulls in every party that you can use to connect with your friends who went to the others.

Could do that I suppose, but unfortunately my phone is a bit too primitive.
Perhaps with a decent smartphone I could livestream myself to both the other locations at once. That would be rather amusing.

[ChairmanPoo]

It was a math subject.

And trust me, this boy was Oxford material. Best in the year. University is a change, but that wouldn't change the apparatus that was already there.

Eh, yes it does. It's a big change. Big big change. Facefirst collision with reality.

Being very proud of yourself doesn't help. In fact, I daresay...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[TD1]

Eh? Easy transition for me.

[ChairmanPoo]

Maybe. Not so easy for many people though.

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

Spoiler: maybe personal question, ignore if you'd like (click to show/hide)

So...how *did* you come to realize that you're trans?

Spoiler: nah, it's okay (SLIGHTLY NSFW) (click to show/hide)

Well, noticing both physical (I am disturbed, shocked, or confused when I look at my body, or the hair quickly spreading across my body) and social dysphoria, combined with realizing that I'm a girl in most of my dreams. I felt a jolt of... hope (that's the best word) when I considered transitioning. The pronoun "he" is annoying at best, dysphoria-inducing at worst, "they" and "she" are much better. I have always seen my genitals as somewhat weird, but now that I'm going through puberty, I occasionally get a... stiffening... and it feels very, very wrong. I cannot imagine ever wanting to get one. I'm interested in some kind of "feminine" clothing, like a dress or something. And then for the dubious ones: I've preferred longer shirts for a while now - those both cover the... crotch area, preventing myself from seeing the small bulge in my pants (yay, that avoids the twinge of dysphoria whenever I look down), but also more closely resembling 'feminine clothing'. I've sat down to urinate for as long as I can remember. Incredibly dubious: an online test told me so. When at rest, my arms naturally fall outward at an angle, and my fingers curl inward. My index and ring finger are the same length.

Congratulations on a semi-successful coming-out. From some of the horror stories I've heard it could have gone a lot worse. Even if your mom was a bit hesitant at least she's supportive

...turns out she's going to monitor everything I say on here. So praise the mother, yes.

Out of curiosity, can being a trans on hormones effect grades in a bad way? One guy I knew has said he's trans, and is doing the hormone thing. He was a brilliant scientist person, A*s all round. Bit insufferable as a person, but that's besides the point. Anyway, he has failed a module in university, an outcome which even a year ago would be completely unthinkable. He was always very arrogant about his good results, so it wasn't that he didn't care about them.

Err, make sure you use the right pronoun bro.

=======

Welp, I'm no longer sure about my gender, or whether gender, dysphoria, etc. are even real. A long talk with your gender-critical father will tend to do that. Now I'm just confused and sad.

[TheBiggerFish]

If I may offer a completely unsolicited opinion: I'm pretty sure you're more female than male, based off of certain reactions.

Spoiler: Reply to previous post's spoiler (click to show/hide)

For the record, sitting to pee is something some guys do too (I prefer sitting over standing, myself), but it's one thing out of many and the remainder...Well, signs point to 'girl'.

[Solifuge]

Hey, you gotta do what makes sense for you. You really ought to put more trust in your own feelings, rather than the opinions of others or tests or whatever, too! No one else knows who you are more than you do; you're the final authority on your own identity, how you are comfortable being, the terms on which you want to live, etc.

Since I gather you just came out, give the folks in your life some time to adjust. And give yourself some time to adjust, too! It took me a few years of questioning openly (after a life of similar little hints) to figure my situation out, and to fully decouple my understanding of Gender and Social Performance from the idea of Biological Sex and the Body... and a bit longer to understand that BOTH of these things are arbitrarily defined, and changeable on a fundamental level. My family and some of my friends still have problems with neutral pronouns, but it's getting better whenever I see them, and as they get practice.

It takes a measure of courage, but finding your Internal Compass and listening to where it points you is a Hugely Important lesson in life! That's how you find happiness, and all that good shit.

[MaximumZero]

So, I made a bold step forward in my life. I'm now unemployed. My boss threw me under the bus to his boss several times in one meeting, and I got fed up and told them both to stuff it. $500 every two weeks isn't worth years of harassment, lies, slander, and bullying, on top of an hour commute.

Edit: I have some very concrete ins on employment. Possibly an IT job, possibly a retail management job, maybe both. I have a second job lined up, too, and that one will actually be fun, despite being retail again.

[TheBiggerFish]

...Yikes.

Good luck MZero

[Solifuge]

MZ, good luck. And props for standing up for yourself; you absolutely deserve a better employment situation than that, and sometimes doing shit like this is the best way to find that.

You've got this. Keep on it. Here's hoping you find something you like doing, and that pays well too!

[IcyTea31]

My index and ring finger are the same length.

I don't doubt you at all on the other things, but do note that that only means anything if your family line is originally from Western Europe: digit ratios vary more between ethnicities than sexes/genders. My index and ring fingers are the same length, but that is in fact the average for Finnish men; around here it's the women who have shorter index fingers.

[Tiruin]

If I may offer a completely unsolicited opinion: I'm pretty sure you're more female than male, based off of certain reactions.

Like how you thought I was a guy "based off of certain reactions"?

Out of curiosity, can being a trans on hormones effect grades in a bad way? [...]

No. Not at all.
By itself, no. By due process: No. Even as general as stated above--nope. It's not something that affects the mind predominantly that it affects one's grades or is correlated with one's change of grades.

MZ, good luck. And props for standing up for yourself; you absolutely deserve a better employment situation than that, and sometimes doing shit like this is the best way to find that.

You've got this. Keep on it. Here's hoping you find something you like doing, and that pays well too!

Go MZ!

-snip-

Like what you've done in the Gender thread (that you made and isn't dead closed yet o-o), time is also needed for you
Exposure too, it'll help both you and your family.

[BlackHeartKabal]

I can't help but be more mad jealous than glad for Doze because I can't even dream of being public about anything because my dad would probably beat the crap out of me.

edited

[Yoink]

Tomorrow I have a social engagement that seems suspiciously like a date. O_O;

Well, uh. It seems I was stood up.

Spoiler: Optional explanation (click to show/hide)

Not exactly "stood up" in the traditional sense, more like a "sudden ceasing of communication from one party" leading to said social engagement not occurring. Could have been a case of some terrible fate befalling their phone, except that according to a certain social media application they were online and active quite frequently since.

Oh well. I was honestly shocked by this attractive and likeable person taking an interest in me in the first place, let alone wanting to rendezvous later, one-on-one whilst sober. Still, I'm actually surprisingly sad about this, despite my best efforts to keep my expectations realistically low (and not even knowing if it was indeed a date-date).

Seems I cared about it more than I thought.
Hopefully I cheer the fuck up after a bit of sleep, it wouldn't do to be down in the dumps on New Year's Eve.